Is this an old age thing - wanting to reject routines for eating and sleeping?

[larkstar]

We are both 61 and decided to both stop work at 60 but me and wife are diverging on issues of routine. Increasingly, over the last few years, I've been feeling that I don't want to eat at regular mealtimes, these days I would prefer only to eat when I'm actually hungry - so often I just can't face breakfast or I don't want to eat until say 8pm - frankly I'm not bothered when I eat - it's not something that's on my mind - it doesn't control my day - my mind odd on other things that I'm doing. I still like to cook and eat good meals - my appetite has reduced a bit but I rarely over eat anyway. I hardly drink alcohol - much as I love good wine, beer and lager - I can't even drink a while bottle of beer on my own - that doesn't bother me. We always used to want a cup of tea first thing in the morning but really I just couldn't care less any more - I don't even feel like breakfast most mornings - I'm happy to skip it and not easy anything until midday or just have a piece of fruit. If I don't eat cereal or porridge in the morning I'll sometimes prefer to eat that at night instead of a cooked meal. My wife prefers to stick to the routines we've had for decades and finds it very strange that I just don't feel like tea or breakfast in the morning. My sleep patterns have never been that good - I have never slept as many hours at my wife and really don't mind broken sleep or tiredness - it had always bothered my wife if she has a poor nights sleep.

This is not down to a loss of routine as I worked from home and was self employed for 12 years and have always done 90% of the cooking for instance.

I wondered if this was a relatively common change some people see as they get older: if not - is there another explanation?

Do you like cooking? I'm 10 years younger and I'm finding that I really don't feel hungry in the evenings and would gladly skip it. If someone else cooks, I have more of an appetite though!

I would prefer not to follow social norms in relation to eating times or sleeping times, however I have come to see that keeping them up is good for my involvement in society and also for keeping good mental health.

By this I mean that waking, eating and going to bed at the standard times means you are doing things when the rest of society is. You aren’t sleeping mid-morning when someone is trying to call you, or knocking on your door. You aren’t calling someone in their lunch time/dinner time
as you’ve forgotten they would be busy.

You are also getting enough sleep and enough times to eat healthily.

I once had 8 weeks off and got completely
out of whack. I was having to set alarms to make 3pm dentist appts. It made me realise you shouldn’t stray too far from the norms.

I'm a good bit younger but have recently come into this way of thinking. I do serve a regular dinner but am preferring to just follow my body cues more.

A plate of cereal as a main meal of the day is not good for you.
Over time this would have a bad effect on your health.
You need fruit and veg and some meat if you want it.

Are you going out and doing things? Have you lost interest in other things?

And more importantly 60 is not old age😁

I'm a year younger than you, and I still get hungry at fairly predictable times, but I'm working full time and have a teen to feed as well, so pretty busy.

Even if you eat less, you still need to ensure a good balance of foods. Cereal won't do. Are you still active? Have you had a health check or talked to your GP?

We are both 61 and decided to both stop work at 60

Maybe you should reconsider? All this fussing over routines suggests that your world has shrunk fairly dramatically.

We have the routines of daily life because they are the best way for human beings to be healthy.
Regular meals and a proper pattern of sleep is really important to ongoing health.
At 60 most people have another 7 years to work.
Elderly people ie those in the late 70s and 80s, who don’t have a proper pattern to their days are of great concern to health and social services.

Sounds like you need a proper health check and also a mental health check, as not eating and a disturbed sleep pattern are a sign of clinical depression.

I at nearly 70 certainly eat less frequently, eat smaller portions and feel better for it. A light breakfast mid morning and an early dinner works best for me. I work two days a week and on those days will have an earlier breakfast and something at lunch, perhaps a piece of fruit or a cereal bar. Some days my food is healthier, some days less so. I take a daily multivitamin and probiotic and cook from scratch about 50% of the time.
As our lives change, routines can change too, and different people have different requirements.

Why stop work at 60? What are you doing instead? Honestly, 60 is not old age, find something productive to do and you will soon start feeling sleepy in the evenings and hungry regularly.

You sound depressed

I’ve always noticed that as people get older they become more set in their ways and don’t like their routines disturbed.
My DH in his 60’s gets twitchy if his evening meal is any later that 6.30.
Sounds to me like you are not eating a very good diet with all the nutrients you need. Do you have the energy you need to do the things you want to do?

I think it depends on the extent of things.
I'm not sure lunch and a bowl of cereal on regular basis is going to give you a balanced diet. But equally, a main meal at 8pm isn't extreme.
Sleeping? If you are saying you now sleep 11-7 instead of 10-6, no issue - probably comes from eating late! But if you are saying 4-noon, it's probably not the best of routines in terms of being available when others.

I hope 60 isn't old.

It isn't!!!!!!

I'm in my 40s and would be delighted if my family would do this!

I found that covid made me more and more resentful about cooking for them all the time.

I would be over the moon if they were content with a bowl of cereal for dinner. Porridge for dinner is one of my treats!

And who says dinner is the main meal of the day? I eat all my nutrients at lunch time, and then graze or nibble at tea time.

I don't think there is any issue with what you are proposing.