What would you definitely not have done today if you didn't have young children?

[JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff]

Just reflecting on how different life is to a few years back!

I leapt up from lunch to make a birthday cake and then went straight out to accompany a child's bike ride. Now sitting on bench in chill wind watching child play.

A few years back I would've considered sitting in the park at sunset in winter a hardship! Now just getting to sit down is a treat, even if it is 5 degrees!

@Username721 it is! It's not German Kevin

DIYed a dream trumpet for part of my daughters BFG World Book Day costume :P

Hosted a sleepover of four boys aged 4-8 plus baby in tow. Thing I'll have a migraine for the next week after the noise levels in our house this evening.

Spent £13 quid and driven for 40 minutes to spend an hour in a cold, noisy, child-filled, inflatable hellscape.

Soft play hell

Played a lot of Lego. I enjoyed it though.

Had a lot of hugs 😁

Washed and hung up a thousand small clothes. Less enjoyable.

Gone to two back to back parties filled with screaming, bouncing, little sugar junkies.

Dealt with a bath full of jelly. Gelli Baff, specifically. And it does amuse them for ages and ages, but I had to hose them down with the shower afterwards, and there's still bits of it lingering in the tub.

I wouldn’t have got up early on a Saturday to go to a children’s ballet class nor sat on a bench at a horrifically hot swimming pool for 1 1/2 hours.

I wouldn’t have sat doing children’s homework nor built a lego set. I wouldn’t have spent my evening packing party bags and lunch boxes.

The two things I did today that I might have done pre-kids were going to the library and out for a walk.

Washed sheets from a wet bed (TBF DH washed them and I hung them up).
Gone to an Italian restaurant and ordered chicken nuggets and chips (for DS).
Coerced DS into going to the supermarket to contribute his money to buy new plates after he smashed some.

This has made me giggle and cheered me up! (Currently sitting with my DD who has broken up with first BF. I want to cry for her, she’s so sad.)

😆 I love Kevin. “I was affectionately called ‘pube head’ at school, which is ironic as I didn’t have a single actual pube until I was nigh on 16”.

He’s so wholesome. 🤣

I was coming on to say caught sick with my bare hands but I have been well and truly trumped here!

Asked someone to touch their toes so I could wipe their bottom

Watched the Puss in Boots movie in the cinema. That was 2hrs of my life I will never get back.

Climbed up mud piles and walked along them.

Spent two hours putting away washing and still haven’t put it all away.
Sat on the side of a cold football pitch attempting to keep two young children happy while my child plays approximately 15 total minutes of football out of an hours game and pretend to give a shit what the rest of the kids on the team do.

I would definitely not have got up at 11.30, 12.20, 1.25, 1.55, 2.30, 3.55, 4.15, 5.20 OR 6.05. I would definitely have slept 11-7 and not woken up with a crick in my neck and shoulder. Definitely wouldn’t have shouted “do not smear that poo on your brother!” (Twice). Would also not have had to answer questions like “why does your poo smell the same as mine mama?” And “if you put a radiator in a blender what would happen?”.

I would likely also be very bored and a bit sad, but I would definitely be well rested whilst I was both of those things 😂

Got woken up in the night. Woken up again at 6. Watched a Barbie movie. Made two meals for dinner. Got cold in the pool supervising bunch of kids. Cleaned up a flake that was all over a café seat.

Walked half an hour each way to watch football at 0930 on a Saturday after working a nightshift

Spent 2hrs in a soft play centre which had 3 back to back parties on rotation whilst I was there. The amount of kids!! 😭

Then got a new badge on Pokémon let's go for DD.

Acted soooo impressed with someone’s new ‘cool shoes’ and said it a million times in a row 😂 (my toddler got new trainers)

Driven a 25 mile round trip then wrestled both DC in and out of swimming gear for their lessons, entertaining DC2 while DC1 swam (no need for vice versa as DC1 can manipulate his own tablet). Shopped for a birthday present for tomorrow’s party and been coerced into buying a new toy and paying for a go on the new ride-on in the shopping centre (which all take cards now 🙄).

Also been very entertained by DC2 reading to the cat, and had lots of lovely cuddles!

Driven around 8 supermarkets looking for Prime

Tried to find the answer to the question 'how many numbers is 20?' From my 4 year old. Apparently 20 was the wrong answer..not sure what he was after!

Told my 2 year old not to try and wipe his brothers bum himself.

Told my 4 year old that, no, mummy does not want to watch your 'Willy dance' 🙃