If you have a demand avoidant autistic child at a mainstream secondary school...

[Blort]

How did they get on in their first year of secondary school?

My child is starting secondary school in September and I've no idea how they are going to manage. They dont have an ehcp, they are "too bright" to go into a specialised unit attached to a secondary.

I just have no idea how they will get on with different teachers, a large school, limited continuity etc. It's hard enough to get them to do work at the best of times (they often regulate themselves in class by reading a book eg Harry Potter)

Don't sugar coat it please, how did their first year go settling in?

DD missed a lot of her final year of primary school, was undiagnosed at that point but has autism and PDA. She managed to go back to school for the transition to senior school and coped really well with first year. Then covid hit and she just couldn't cope with home schooling. She's now in her exam years and was doing great. She finds school hard because she's making but equally she has a nice group of friends and she wants to stay at that school.

However she didn't go in at all last week which was the first week after half term. She's really keen to get back to school but gets so anxious in the mornings. We will just have to see what happens next week. Transitions are just really hard for her.

Her school are very helpful but she doesn't want to be autistic so refuses to engage with any help. She just wants to be the same as everyone else

Year 8 diagnosed with ASD with PDA here. Year 7 was very very hard (undiagnosed at time but on wait list) but the school were helpful and gave accommodations without diagnosis or EHCP. Calmed down a lot after that first Xmas once a bit of familiarity kicked in. Year 8 has got easier too.

A card for movement breaks was really useful- as much for semblance of control than the movement. He has a pupil passport I wrote for him - all his teachers have it. School have offered 1:1 well-being interventions/ELSA course which he loves. All without an EHCP. They know about PDA already and teachers have some resources about it.

We do LOTS of support at home to reduce anxiety. Low demands, declarative language etc. Give him control over when to do homework (and got the school to agree no detentions for no homework although not tested yet) and we sit with him “helping” (aka scrolling my phone) when he chooses to start. We pack/check his bag to reduce that anxiety. Bit of special interest focusing in the am before school too. He still says he hates school but he doesn’t refuse to go (yet) and seems to be doing well. Some days he even wants to go! Not often mind!

Agree with other posters, approach the SENCO as soon as you know about places. Key for me is knowing and being able to articulate what accommodations you want to put in place. That was a hard journey for us as he masks at school so not easy to see what would help most. If you have a good school, I don’t see why an EHCP should be needed for every accommodation - just those that need additional funding. Allowing some Harry Potter reading or a movement break card is easy for them to implement (in theory). We’ve negotiated a few things like that, e.g. doing performance/music assessments in private, which has made the difference to anxiety which is the key for us. But every child has different needs.

My DS has ASD and became demand avoidant as a result of secondary school. He was in lockdown during years 7&8, though it started off well the time he did spend in school caused a lot of damage. He started year 9 in a specialist.
I would apply for an EHCP now. At secondary another child was piggybacking DSs support and as such didn’t feel in a hurry to get their own child an EHCP. When DS left all support was withdrawn and the child was left without any support and dropped out within weeks. DS is in year 10 now and the other child is still out of school even though the EHCP process started a few months ago. Make sure you keep on at the LA to keep to statutory timelines for the EHCP.

OP I agree with everyone else saying apply for an EHCNA now. Whilst going through the process also speak to the school’s SENCO as soon as you have an offer.

My advice would to electively home educated.

No! @Rockbird whatever you do do don’t deregister and EHE. If DD can’t attend ou don’t have to allow the school to keep trying to force her in. Whilst DD remains on the current roll if she is unable to attend the LA have a statutory duty to provide alternative arrangements. If you EHE you relieve the LA of their duty. Parents often find it easier (although not easy) to get support when they remain on a school’s roll. Crudely you are someone’s ‘problem’, whereas if you EHE it is easier for professionals to sweep DC’s needs under the carpet.

You should apply for an EHCNA too.

My daughter is now in year 10 and thriving with lots of support. She has had an EHCP since year 4. We think she has PDA but it’s not diagnosed in our area. The SENCO agreed with us and communicated this to all her teachers. She is really happy and well regulated with a little group of quirky friends.

Primary was hell and resulted in permanent exclusion in year 5 and a year in special school. She hasn’t had a single day of exclusion since starting secondary. I think an EHCP and a school with the will to make it work is crucial though.