Confused

[Letthecandleburn]

I'm pretty sure I'm pregnant. I know I need to test but I can't bring myself to do it.
I don't want another but can't cope with the thought of an abortion.
My partner will be so angry and I've no idea how to tell him.

I'm sorry you are in this situation OP it must be difficult to know what to do. Why will your partner be angry that you are pregnant? How sure are you that you are pregnant?

In know I'm being ridiculous and need to test.
I'm on the pill but had a 2 week break as they wouldn't prescribe until my BP came down. We had sex during that time but we're careful. However as soon as I started on the pill, we had sex. I didn't even think about the fact we probably were not protected.
2 weeks after this...I started feeling sick every day and have done for the last 2 weeks, weeing more, tender breast (just one) and my tummy is bloated and pulling.
I've been pregnant 4 times. 2 children and 2 miscarriages and I feel exactly the same as when pregnant. I'm basically 99% certain.
I've purchased tests last week but I can't face up to the reality and test because I'll have to deal with it.

We don't want more children. Partner is 17 years older than me. Things haven't been good, he's emotionally abusive, wants me to think I'm crazy and has grabbed me and pushed me across the room.
I'm too scared to tell him and I think this is why I'm avoiding testing; so I can delay the inevitable and pretend it's not happening.

You need to test OP, if you are pregnant the situation isn't going to go away. Just do the test, you don't have to tell him right away but once you know for sure you can take some time to decide what to do. One step at a time, test first, then take some time to decide what to do / say to your partner. It sounds like you should get rid of your partner too, you shouldn't live like that, in fear of him and being abused. Sending love