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Original poster

Young kids with mental illness - success stories

17 replies

allthedramamick · 24/02/2023 19:17

My DD7 is suffering with OCD and depression. This is escalating so quickly, and she will barely let me speak to her/ look at her/ walk anywhere near her, and absolutely won’t let me give her a cuddle or anything like that. She's struggling at school, there are hygiene issues, and it's just encompassing every area of her life.

This has been going on since Christmas, and every day is torture for both of us. I am beyond desperate to get my happy, loving little girl back. It’s always just been me & her, and we’ve always been so so close, so we are both very lonely and sad.

She starts CBT next week, thank goodness, but even the therapist says it is so extreme and complex that it’s going to take a while before we’re likely to see any changes in behaviour.

At the moment, it’s difficult to imagine any light at the end of the tunnel.

So I wondered if anybody else with young/ primary aged kids who suffered with mental illness (of any kind), and managed to recover (to any extent), would mind sharing their story? I am desperate for some success stories to give me hope!

OP posts:

0o0o0o0 · 24/02/2023 20:11

I know 2. Obvs can't go into details. Both fabulously successful and grounded/balanced adults.

Puddlelane123 · 24/02/2023 20:29

That sounds extremely stressful OP, and I can just imagine how traumatic it must be for the whole family to see your daughter suffer in this way. Can I ask, was the onset fairly rapid and alongside any systemic illness eg sore throat? I ask because it is worth ruling out PANS / PANDAS if the onset has been sudden and severe.

Jodielou5972 · 24/02/2023 20:44

If its only being going on since Christmas you are very lucky she is starting CBT so quick! Hopefully that will help.
I was one of those young kids with mental health issues. Unfortunately I didn't start making any sort of progress or recovery until well into my 20's. I don't say this to scare/worry you. The opposite actually. My mom NEVER got me help, never accepted I had mental health, never acknowledged it, and made it all about her.

You are doing the right things for your child. Just make sure she knows you are there for her, not to judge or "get her wrong".
My aunt, knowing I struggled to speak, used to write me letters and leave them in the house for me to find, and I would always write back. Write about things I wouldn't dream of talking about.
Maybe start doing letters with her? Obviously she is quite young but even basic writing could be of benefit.

This seems to have come on quite suddenly? Surely there is a trigger? Have you thought back to the time it started and considered why? Maybe dealing with the "root" of the issue will help more than looking at her daily behaviours.

Jodielou5972 · 24/02/2023 20:49

"I am beyond desperate to get my loving little girl back"

Don't say this to her.. My mam always wanted "the old me" back. It made me feel like I had failed before I even started trying. There is no going back. Your DD is changed now. You can both focus on making a stronger, happier, new DD. Help both of you be stronger, happier, healthier and closer together

winterpastasalad · 24/02/2023 21:22

No advice but I feel your pain OP and hold your hand.

Beamur · 24/02/2023 21:30

My DD went to CAHMS with anxiety/OCD aged 8. With hindsight she had been struggling for maybe a year?
She's 15 now and it's still an issue but it's something she and we, live with. She's doing brilliantly at school, has a nice group of friends and lots of hobbies and interests. Life is probably more challenging for her than some and occasionally, when it's overwhelming it does get her down.
It's part of her - I have no idea if it will always be or not, but I think therapy (she did a CBT course) at a young age was really helpful.
I hope your DD gets some relief with her therapy - it's horrible for them, especially so little to have such big feelings to deal with and it's hard as a parent to feel so helpless. We have modified some of the way we parent/do things to suit DD better. Despite all of this she is a delight and a blessing and I am really proud of her.

SummerSazz · 24/02/2023 21:34

My dd was a bit older although probably started in y5/y6. Hers manifested as trichotilomania (hair pulling) so an OCD response to anxiety

She had CBT aged 13 and has done brilliantly and was signed off after 8 sessions (we went privately and 18 months on from her treatment she hadn't made it to the top of the CAHMS waiting list)

She engaged really well and really like her psychologist which made a hard ge different

SummerSazz · 24/02/2023 21:37

Oops, posted too early

... huge difference. I was really particular about getting a clinical psychologist who specialised in adolescents rather than a generic counsellor.

She occasionally still gets panic attacks but they don't scare her so much and she has tools to deal with it. She no longer pulls out her hair and can ward off these compulsions

Good luck with your daughter and I hope she gets the right help x

Girlattheback · 24/02/2023 21:50

Did your DD have any mental health issues before Christmas? Sudden onset of OCD is a symptom of an auto immune condition PANS/PANDAS. Might be worth looking at the symptoms, see what you think.

PercyPigs1 · 24/02/2023 22:11

My DD started suffering during the pandemic in Y5. She's now in Y7. She respond very well to the sessions we had but there's been some very challenging times. When you're in it it's hard to think it will improve. The local children's health support service we were referred to really helped - lots of online sessions for her and sessions for parents. There was also a support network for parents and I was allocated a health support worker who I spoke to weekly whilst we are on the waiting list (took 7 months). Those things really helped us understand what she was going through and how to help her so I'd really recommend finding out what there is for you. She's managing well now and able to use her strategies - things are much better than they were and she's happier as more confident. One little thing that helped her in Y5 especially when she was low about going to school was her choosing an empowering sticker every day - worked wonders on positive thoughts . I got them
On Amazon. Good luck OP - I hope the CBT helps her

imip · 24/02/2023 22:33

Also worth considering if the OCD is autism based. If so, CBT may not be helpful. My dd was very violent and hurt herself when she was young. We wild describe her as having PDA, she is not violent now, but her troubles now present as OCD . She still has PDA but managed her anxiety in a different was. She is lovely to be around now. She was diagnosed with autism when she was 8 and is now 15 and I see a much more brighter future for her. Not necessarily easy, but not as hard as we thought when she was 5-8 years ago.

Original poster

allthedramamick · 25/02/2023 12:20

Can I ask, was the onset fairly rapid and alongside any systemic illness eg sore throat? I ask because it is worth ruling out PANS / PANDAS if the onset has been sudden and severe.

Oh my god! I thought it was all linked to starting contact with her dad last summer - she enjoyed this at the time & it was taken v slow etc. but it was a big life change which I understand can cause OCD due to perceived lack of control etc.

Throughout the autumn she would get funny about her friends touching her hair etc. but it wasn't anything particularly concerning.

And yes, I remember right before Christmas she had a cough, sore throat etc. and then pretty much overnight suddenly she wouldn't sit on the sofa, hug me, let me touch her or her stuff etc etc.

She's also been having frequent wee accidents ever since, which I've just read is a symptom too!

Sounds like it's pretty rare? But it really does fit. Thank you so much to everybody else too - I will be back, I just want to read more about PANDAS.

OP posts:

Original poster

allthedramamick · 26/02/2023 18:42

If its only being going on since Christmas you are very lucky she is starting CBT so quick! Hopefully that will help.

We are lucky! I believe it's a new scheme which goes through the schools, rather than CAMHS. She is getting assessed by CAMHS soon too, but I think there will be a much longer wait for anything to happen there. It's extremely severe though, the school said they've had lots of kids with OCD but have never seen anything like this before.

*I was one of those young kids with mental health issues. Unfortunately I didn't start making any sort of progress or recovery until well into my 20's. I don't say this to scare/worry you. The opposite actually. My mom NEVER got me help, never accepted I had mental health, never acknowledged it, and made it all about her.

Maybe start doing letters with her? Obviously she is quite young but even basic writing could be of benefit.

It's funny you say this! She wouldn't touch any letter I wrote, but I've downloaded a messaging app this weekend so we can message from her iPad to my phone, and she's been sending me such lovely loving messages (and vice versa). It's been great, actually. Think we both feel closer.

I'm glad you're doing better, and I'm so sorry you didn't get the help you needed.

OP posts:

Original poster

allthedramamick · 26/02/2023 18:46

Did your DD have any mental health issues before Christmas? Sudden onset of OCD is a symptom of an auto immune condition PANS/PANDAS. Might be worth looking at the symptoms, see what you think.

Thank you SO much to the people who have mentioned this. I've spent the weekend researching and I am convinced this is what it is.

From what I've read, it's not normal for typical OCD to literally appear overnight, which hers absolutely did. She has lots of the other symptoms, and was poorly before Christmas when all of the strep was going around.

I'm going to get in contact with the GP tomorrow and ask for antibiotics, a blood test and referral to peads. I feel some hope for the first time in months. I am beyond grateful!

OP posts:

Original poster

allthedramamick · 26/02/2023 18:48

And thank you so much to everyone else for their stories too. So glad your kids are doing better now. Hope mine can get there too. And well done to you all too for making it through - it's by far the hardest thing I've ever gone through. Super mums!

OP posts:

Purpleflowerseverywhere · 26/02/2023 19:44

@allthedramamick Sudden change in behaviour and wetting herself are also signs of sexual abuse (not that that is the only or even most likely cause but it is worth considering especially since there are new people in her life).

Girlattheback · 26/02/2023 21:24

Good luck with your GP appointment. Pans/pandas uk have a great leaflet that you can print out and hand to your GP. Although I can’t find it on their website now! Found it here for you. It’s the first one in the downloads section at the bottom.

Your GP may not have heard of the condition so this tells them what it is, what blood tests are needed and what antibiotic to prescribe.

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