Making friends at toddler groups

[Springrainbows]

Going on maternity leave for the second time soon. I have a two and a half year old.

During my first maternity leave I did NCT; it was online due to pandemic but once things opened up we all met up regularly, went to baby classes together and had coffee / lunch and walks. It was nice.

However they work FT. I’m conscious it could be difficult filling long days with two very small children, but how do I approach people at classes? It’s hard with a toddler as we can’t just sit in a cafe as we used to! Wondering how others managed?

I think it is easier at a toddler group where children play and there is probably a snack time and a singing time at the end, rather than a class, as your older child can play while you keep an eye on them and you sit / stand holding the baby - you've got more time to strike up conversation with other adults than in the few minutes chat before or after a structured activity class. You can ask a friendly face to keep an eye on the baby while you change toddler's nappy or vice versa, and I'd hope that the group leaders would introduce you to other people.

I found the playgroups a bit hit and miss. Some were cliquey, some were ok. If you're a sociable person in general then you'll get chatting to other mums and find people to go for coffee/ playdates with etc , no problem. I found some parents who attended the groups did so solely for the benefit of the child, but others were a bit more open to making friends. My youngest is now at school so I no longer go to groups but I've kept in touch with a few people as they've ended up going to the same school.

Episcopalian church based playgroups are super friendly. If there is any near you then I would go there first. The people are all lovely and down to earth, and if it is in a semi affluent area all the better. I absolutely love mine, and I think the Episcopalian churches really make it their duty to run very good playgroups. (Religion is never mentioned either, incase your wondering?)

To me a play group was to entertain the child, I liked the adult chat but wasn’t seeking out long term friendships. I enjoyed my mat leave I think by having no pressure to make friends but to enjoy the engaging with ours without expectations.

If there are other parents you get in with at group you could always suggest meeting at a local soft play or something. When the weather’s better you could suggest doing a picnic (my friend and I instigated a weekly picnic in the park opposite a toddler group we used to go to one summer and it became massive).