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Original poster

Childcare for teens

29 replies

Stickmansmum · 24/02/2023 08:26

What does everyone do, if at least one parent WFH but both parents working full time, with regards teens after school. Assuming they can get home and are able to mind themselves mostly, do they really do their homework and do it properly? Does it work to let them get on with things themselves? I’ll have 4 teens and can’t imagine them not fighting and bickering and some hiding away to avoid doing their work.

OP posts:
Beezknees · 24/02/2023 08:41

Yes, I have a 15 year old and he's been a latch key kid since he was 12 (I am a lone parent so I can't not work) I wfh 2 days a week and my mum comes over on Tuesdays so he only has to let himself in 2 days a week when I'm at the office.

He's a good kid, gets on with his homework and usually then goes on the PlayStation 🙄 but he has aspirations to become a vet so he knows how important it is to get good grades. And he's an only child so nobody home to district him.

coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 24/02/2023 08:43

They don't need to do their homework right away, surely?

I'd come home, have a snack, watch some TV, go online, then do homework in the evening after I'd eaten and had a break.

mdh2020 · 24/02/2023 08:45

My two were, as DS put it ‘latch key children’ from the later years of Primary School. They came home, had a snack and did their homework and put the kettle on ready for me. They never argued and looked after each other. And got on with their homework. Even when I was home I never had to inspect their homework.

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pointythings · 24/02/2023 09:55

Mine home aloned after school from when DD1 was 12, DD2 was 10. It was fine - they'd help themselves to a snack, watch some tv or read. Homework would be done after dinner.
As they got into GCSE/A level territory homework would obviously start earlier.

CatOnTheChair · 24/02/2023 10:10

I cant wfh. Even when DH is away (technically 90 days a year), the kids (teen and tween) let them selves in, get a snack, get on with stuff.
I don't check homework unless asked. I usually ask if they have done it all (and can look on the app to check its all marked off - usually once or twice a week).
I wouldn't expect teens to need childcare for a couple of hours, whether a parent is wfh or not.

PeekAtYou · 24/02/2023 10:12

My teens never did homework straight after school. They have a drink and snack then chill out with some music, gaming or surfing the Internet. Dinner is at 6:30 here and they generally did it after that.

SnowAndFrostOutside · 24/02/2023 10:13

Both DH and I work full time and there's one of us WFH every day. DC1 gets the school bus, lets herself in and she does her homework and music practice. She's told she can only go on her phone and switch if she finishes them.

sixfoot · 24/02/2023 10:15

Mine are in charge of their own schedules. They can do their homework or not and deal with the consequences, we don’t baby them and as a result they step up.

Needmorelego · 24/02/2023 10:16

Does their school library stay open later? If you don't think they will do homework at home they could stay at school to do it in the library and come home later.

KittyTitty · 24/02/2023 10:17

The only real issue you have with 4 teens is the likelihood they will argue or fight when you’re not there. Other than that they’re absolutely fine.

SlowlyRetreatMyDear · 24/02/2023 10:18

Well I was here but my two would come home, get changed, get food and then had a homework slot that they did homework in or if they didn't have homework to complete they would extend their knowledge of something that they were studying. Then tech/gaming then come off for dinner prep, setting the table etc. Mine preferred to get homework done and out of the way then it isn't looming over them for the evening.

But my children have always been driven, motivated and they didn't argue. I think what massively helped is they each have their own space so there is no fighting over a computer/tv/music. They have a study each as well as a bedroom.

Standards were set early in primary that they could have access to tech if they applied themselves, not based on grades but school mark their attitude to learning etc so they had free reign to do with what they wanted in their free time. We set no limits on screen time from secondary. But all this was also dependent on a good attitude at home, chores done, help unpack shopping etc. And no they are not young teens now, they are almost 20 and 17. Eldest is at uni, other is yr 12.

mindutopia · 24/02/2023 10:20

I have a pre-teen and dh and I both work (mostly from home). She comes home and entertains herself and gets a snack. I wouldn't expect her to do homework unprompted because she's still quite young, but actual teens, yes, I think they could be expected to just get on with things. I used to bring myself home from around 11. I mostly did homework in the evenings after dinner, but I would put the washing on and make dinner many nights as my mum wasn't home til about 6:30.

SlowlyRetreatMyDear · 24/02/2023 10:20

I meant to add, sit them down, lay out your expectations and if they argue etc then they can stay in homework club or the library at school or work at the local library rather than home. Learning to get on with everyone even when you dislike them is good for future work environments.

KittyTitty · 24/02/2023 10:22

@SlowlyRetreatMyDear

Not quite the same circs as a lot of posters here. Firstly, you were there in the house and secondly, you only had two kids.

MichaelAndEagle · 24/02/2023 10:23

As with others, homework is done after dinner here.
I would worry about them fighting etc, it depends what they're generally like?
I have 15 and 11 year old on their own after school for an hour each day.

SlowlyRetreatMyDear · 24/02/2023 10:37

@KittyTitty considering the vast majority of us only have 2 children I didn't realise you could only post if you had 4 children. This isn't posted on the large families board but on chat. Just because I am physically here does not mean I stood over them whilst they did their work nor did I make them their drink or snack. I was merely suggesting the OP set expectations especially when it comes to homework and behaviour and the consequences if they don't adhere to either one.

NoSquirrels · 24/02/2023 10:43

How old are your DC currently, OP? I think it’s hard to imagine how they’ll be as older kids when you’re still in the supervising and nagging and refereeing fights stage.

The other thing is that they’ll get to the independence stage gradually, one after the other. Unless you’re a parent of quadruplets, they won’t all ‘graduate’ to being independent after school at the same time. By the time there’s 4 of them the rhythm is established. And homework they’ll quickly find is their own problem if they don’t do it, as they’ll get sanctioned in school - and most kids are keen to avoid that.

JustFrustrated · 24/02/2023 10:44

You're over thinking it.

Does it matter if they don't do their homework right away/not at all?

They'll learn how to prioritise.

There is no provision for teens, because they're expected to be able to look after themselves.

If you have 4, then one is 13 and the others are older, so what's the problem?

Mortified2023 · 24/02/2023 10:52

Mine are 14, nearly 12 & 9. Nearly 12 has SEN, so cannot be left unsupervised for long.

I will leave them all together for an hour or two. Any longer than that & we make sure that either DH is working from home, I am home (work PT) or they come & see me at work (library). Also, they often spend days with grandparents/great grandparents etc. Not so much for childcare but for company & making sure they don't fight - my Nan can be strict & loves the company so it's win-win.

All mine are fine doing homework & would rather get it done. Thankfully not a battle we've ever had.

LadyDanburysHat · 24/02/2023 10:56

I'm assuming your DC are quite young currently. I have never got involved in homework once my DC were at secondary school. They are old enough to get on with it or deal with the consequences at school if they don't.

KittyTitty · 24/02/2023 11:01

@SlowlyRetreatMyDear

Not at all applicable though when the OP was asking what other people did when their teens were left alone. Yours were not left alone. In regards to the OP then yes 4 kids is worlds apart from 2 who aren’t left alone, and who each have their own studies.

CalistoNoSolo · 24/02/2023 11:07

DD has been responsible for completing homework since primary, she's been pretty self-sufficient for everything else since she started secondary. As a result she is mature, sensible and very good at managing her time. I can't imagine having to police her time/actions, as a single parent I wouldn't have time.

MrsSkylerWhite · 24/02/2023 11:09

Ours used to go to homework club at school through choice. Had the evening to themselves afterwards. Do yours have that option?

NoSquirrels · 24/02/2023 11:20

KittyTitty · 24/02/2023 11:01

@SlowlyRetreatMyDear

Not at all applicable though when the OP was asking what other people did when their teens were left alone. Yours were not left alone. In regards to the OP then yes 4 kids is worlds apart from 2 who aren’t left alone, and who each have their own studies.

In fact, the OP says there would be a WFH parent there. So much the same, except for extra kids.

Hellocatshome · 24/02/2023 11:24

If you have 4 13 year olds thats very different from having a 13 year d as the youngest and a 17/18 year old as the oldest so I think the ages are important.

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