can you help me work out why i can't get a supermarket job?

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Tale as old as time, i'm mid 40s, husband and i are discussing terms of theoretical separation and divorce and i need to work.

Please be decent if you reply, don't leave inflammatory responses, i'm going through a very difficult time and every day is a struggle.

I am looking for helpful insight.

i have worked in a traditional/classic "status" profession (eg chartered accounting, clergy, medicine) for 5 years but have suffered very poor MH , GAD with the presence of panic attacks which continue to this very day and significantly impact me daily. I only have a couple of friends i'm in touch with and they agree that I am not suited to returning to the profession and don't think i could perform to the level required. On paper, I'm highly skilled but in reality, i really struggled to perform and work things out on the job.

I have been out of work for 5 years and i want a job that isn't too demanding and that i can just go in to do without yet more training. I've been rejected from admin roles even though I've got admin experience.

i feel that i've adapted my CV to the roles I've applied for. Specifically for the supermarket and retail jobs, I have taken off post-graduate qualifications and the professional roles.

I currently do volunteer work at a school and go in one morning a week to read with children. It's a very basic function and i don't organise anything as the school don't want that nor do i use any skills. I literally listen and prompt so i don't think this voluntary work could progress into paid employment.

On another thread, I read about a woman in her 50s who hadn't worked for a while and was in a similar situation in terms of marriage status and she was told to get a job at a supermarket to get her back into working. Separate to that, I had already been applying for low paid roles in retail and supermarkets. I've been rejected from Morrisons,Tesco, Cinton Cards Seasalt and Boots.

I have my own suspicions as to why I'm getting rejected but would like to hear of success stories and how people actually do get jobs in places such as these.

What do I need to do in the tests - Tesco one was very different from the Morrisons!

What would a successful candidate CV look like and contain or avoid?

Can anyone help me with suggestions on how to return to work or any resources?

I've been trying off and on for 3 years to return to work, so i'm not sitting passively hoping to just submit a CV and get an interview. I've been filling applications, doing virtual/ automated preliminary interviews etc but don't seem to progress.

Thank you.

The job market is very patchy at the moment. Some places it has completely dried up! :(

Totally understand that you have found inconsistencies. I'm trying to get things on track.

Aside - what about a dog Walker (good for MH) / Iron Lady (so you can drop and go) and watch tv at the same time / after /before school nanny / baby sitter? All those positions are in demand and you could pick your own hrs and work for yourself.

Have you tried Asda? They seems to be a real mix of people / ages employed there

A relative recently started working for a hospital (she's over 50 years old) - I'm not sure what the role is called, but it's a general assistant type role. It's minimum wage, she has no qualifications or previous healthcare experience. She has been taught how to do some basic procedures, but is very much following directions - which you say you're looking for.

She absolutely loves it - finds it really interesting being in a hospital, and loves helping people who need care. She started off doing bank, and has recently been given a permanent role.

Might that be a better option than retail?

What are your degree and postgrad in? It's hard to give advice without that.

I disagree with leaving them off your CV causing a gap. Same as professional jobs.

Plenty if qualified people do lower paid work to fit around child care, care of elderly parents, illness etc.

I found myself in a similar situation to you a few years ago, OP. In my case, a successful professional career and an abusive relationship behind me but still trying to cope with depression & anxiety, no self confidence at all, inability to face responsibility or decision-making, but needing to earn an income.

I've since worked in the care sector, and get huge satisfaction from it. I appreciate that you've said it would not suit you but I wondered if you were aware of all the alternatives available?

I am employed by private clients in their own home, who are funded by the local council. I choose to work with adults but there are lots of parents looking for support for children with ADHD, autism and other disabilities. Often helping them access interests & hobbies, supporting young people going to college, or just spending time with them at home to give their parents some time to themselves. You are able to choose who you work with, what sort of things you feel comfortable doing.

The sector is very short staffed and, if you enjoy volunteering with children, you might find it works for you. Happy to share more info about how it works/ how you find out more in your area. Good luck OP.

Tess that is tough but glad to hear you have found a way.

I really don't want to post too many specifics.

Thanks to everyone who has contributed to this thread. It's been really helpful.

I was hoping to really focus on employment but maybe I should focus on my MH.

Thank you all.

Please don’t fall into the mindset of writing yourself off as incapable. In my experience this only makes anxiety issues worse and it becomes harder and harder to get yourself out there and acquire some self worth.

You say you are physically capable, so is the PIP claim just on the basis of anxiety?

There are worthwhile and fulfilling things that you can do despite anxiety.

First step - almost any job is (somewhere along the line) about other people. Working alongside other people, providing a service, back office support for a service for people etc…. Make sure at least part of your mind is focused on the fact that you want to do this role and you want to fulfil the function that it serves for others. If you keep thinking about just what you want out of the job, you won’t get there.

This is a common symptom of GAD and if you break that link and get out of the cycle, you’ll be on your way.

Top tip for personality assesment is your answers have always got to be strong- to the max 🤣if they ask if you enjoy working with people, you "strongly agree" not just "agree". If you're asked about whether you don't enjoy routine and new things "you strongly disagree". Only uses softer options for a few qs.. it's based on marks. X.

Basis of PIP is social anxiety, needing help to do things around the house because of severe depression, panic disorder, phobic disorder, severe GAD and needing help from husband or friends. I don't know what the aim or objective of my application is really but NHS and other professionals have told me in the past I should apply.

I have GAD and bipolar and work full time. It is possible.

The longer you're out of work, the harder it is to return.

I was a civilian manager with a police force for 28 years. Took voluntary redundancy when l moved 100 miles years ago, got a job at M&S.
I hated it. Fortunately it was only a Christmas contract, the the application process was actually more complicated than when l applied for the police (and that had involved psychometric testing when l applied for promotion)..

I now work for a large supermarket (stop gap until l get my state pension).
l'm 64 now and l was employed when l was 60, so l don't think it's your age.

Customer facing retail doesn't sound right for you, purely my opinion.
People can be rude and abusive, it can be stressful (I worked through the pandemic and some customers were unbelievable).

What may help if you have issues you're finding difficult is to contact someone like Reed in Partnership. reedinpartnership.co.uk/.
My job coach referred me there when l was looking to get back into work after major surgery. They specialise in supporting people who are looking for work who have mental health/physical issues.
They're extremely good, they do courses/help with CVs/give advice, and you have a personal supporter designated to you. I found it hugely helpful.

I think that might be the way to get the ball rolling. You don't have to be referred by the job centre, you can apply yourself.
Good luck x

river82 thanks for sharing and I want this for myself too. I need work to distract myself and keep my mind busy.

Kat's thanks for the message

SEP Thank you.

How about approaching a temping agency, particularly one that specialises in accounting. The work could be very simple like batching invoices, filing or data input etc., You would be very attractive to these agencies they dont care if you are over qualified. My sister did this whilst taking a career break she found it very flexible in that if she didn't like the vibe of a place she would ask to go somewhere else, she was over qualified (chartered accountant) and she got offered a full time job nearly everywhere she went. But she chose to carry on temping it meant she could have school holidays off and generally felt little pressure. II think she went to Hayes. Good luck

Have you seen a job coach at the Jobcentre and asked for a referral to specialised help because of your disability? The issue with dumbing down your CV is that often you don’t match what’s on paper which makes people suspicious. I think you would be better being honest and getting support to get a role that plays to your abilities.

I second this. Lots of temp banking work available. Even data entry would be low stress, low interaction. Lots of back office work.

I work in retail. Had to complete a multi choice test before getting any further. Luckily I'd just happened to have read something about what was important to the place I was applying for (ie customer service is a big thing), and to be honest I changed some of my multi choice questions to what I thought they'd be looking for. I had my interview, during which they asked me to give an example of how I'd supported a colleague in the past (turns out that's something else that's important to them, ie we support eachother in order to give customer best possible service). Also, if you get as far as an interview, be willing to do any hours available (you can change in future if something comes up), ie our store employs people 5.30am-11pm (shorter hours on a Sunday).

I would say working in retail isn't necessarily easy. You need to be prepared to be polite to abusive customers, working every second (even if say not serving) and there will training, which isn't always easy to pass - at our place if you fail three times a manager comes in with you to help you pass - it's obvious to everyone else as you keep being pulled off shop floor for training. It happens a fair amount, but I really wouldn't want to admit to my manager I couldn't pass.

Either way, hope you find something that suits you.

I did a part time accountancy course and was shit at it. But I spent a fortune in grinds at €30 per hour to pass my exams the first year before I eventually realised accounting wasn't for me and I preferred admin roles.

It's probably about €50 per hour these days I'd say.

I used to meet my grinds teacher in the local university in the library, nook or empty lecture hall, but even a coffee shop our public library would probably do nicely if you didn't want to go to people's homes or have them come to you.

I work in retail. Availability is prioritised over experience. I initially gave full availability with my job and once I had my foot in the door I had a discussion about flexibility, I've been there 13 years now.

If finances allow, I'd work on your mental health as a priority and increase your volunteering. If you enjoy working at the school then make sure they know about your previous skills and that you'd enjoy helping out elsewhere. Otherwise, search out other places to volunteer.

I'd also look at your old job skills and look for more junior positions in those fields. You've already got experience so should stand out ahead of candidates without experience. Plus, you might need to increase your income and if you're at the bottom of the rungs again, you can work upwards as needed.

Would you consider basic admin work/bank shifts for the nhs? Jobs are always available and you could go for something thats not demanding that you can easily walk away from at the end of your shift.

Good luck with the job search ❤️

As well as PIP have you tried applying for ESA? (Employment support allowance)
There are 2 bands, the first band you have to show that your actively looking for work.
The second band is contribution based. To start off with you have to send in sick notes from your gp but after you've been assessed as unfit for work you won't have to continue doing so. Your ni will be paid for you.

I work in a supermarket, you need to be super fit and in excellent health, as they don't care if your 16 or 60, they still want job done the same.
They expect staff to be trained in all areas, Dot.com is physically demanding you are on a very high pick rate and expected to deal with constant customer queries as well as spillages.
They really come down hard on sick leave, it's easier to just go in, they are crafty, they don't bother answering the sick line as they run on absolute bare bones and it really inconveniences them if you dare to off sick. If your on checkouts or self serve you have the hassell 're ID plus you will certainly know if someone shopping experience didn't go to plan. You will have the same conversation all day long. They are phasing out checkouts, soon it will all self serve.
Mentally you need to be really strong, the abuse and level of complaints can drain you, it's far from an easy job. If something is moved, increased in price or discontinued, it's all your fault even though you have absolutely no dealings with that side of things.
I would definitely look for something else, l only stick it because l start at 6.00am and finish at 12 lunchtime, plus the he people l work with are lovely.
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