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Original poster

How would you react?

18 replies

Harpori29 · 22/02/2023 23:38

A bit of an open question. Looking to hear people’s opinions.

if someone - anyone was to swear at you, call you names and be rude to you for example, ‘you’re fucking weird’ ‘you fucking idiot’ ‘fuck off’. How would YOU react? Would you be rude back? Or not?

now what if your bf/partner/husband was the one talking to you like that? Would you argue back? Swear/be rude back?

im really curious to see what other women would do and how they would react. I want to know if I’m calm or not? This happened to me and I don’t tend to do anything. I don’t argue back or be rude back I just walk away and probably cry. I imagine other woman would give it back to the person so I’m wondering if I’m too easy going?

OP posts:

FetchezLaVache · 22/02/2023 23:43

Well, my ex husband started to talk to me like that, so I left him. If you're asking if you should put up with regular verbal abuse, my answer would be no!

The last time a stranger swore at me, I took great pleasure in expressing how childish I felt she was being by sticking out my tongue at her and thumbing my nose. And doing a little dance. I enjoyed myself immensely.

EineReiseDurchDieZeit · 22/02/2023 23:45

It depends what mood I'm in and how taken aback I am

I can often be a thought of an amazing retort 3 hours later type of person

UsingChangeofName · 22/02/2023 23:45

He wouldn't be my bf/ partner / husband if he spoke to me like that.
Simple as.

It would have been clear long before we got to the stage of committing to each other, surely ?

TheSnowyOwl · 22/02/2023 23:45

If it was a stranger, I would just ignore and leave them to it. My husband, I would divorce and I would follow a grievance procedure if at work.

EineReiseDurchDieZeit · 22/02/2023 23:47

If it were a partner I'd be extremely upset but I would hope that any partner of mine wouldn't dream of it

LittleMG · 22/02/2023 23:48

If it was a stranger I’d politely tell them to do one. If it was my husband I’d give him both barrels.

TedMullins · 22/02/2023 23:53

Yes I’d swear back and they wouldn’t remain my partner or husband

SpinningFloppa · 22/02/2023 23:54

Yes I wouldn't let a partner speak to me like that I would argue back but that's me not going to lie

MaidOfSteel · 22/02/2023 23:58

If it was a stranger, I'd love to say something along the lines of 'people who swear all the time are unable to communicate properly.' In reality, I'd probably just tell them to go away.

TomatoSandwiches · 22/02/2023 23:59

If my husband said that I would ask him if he'd lost his ever loving mind and check him for some sort of illness, he would never.

A stranger? just blank them, laugh or ask them if they were quite alright.

cassiatwenty · 23/02/2023 00:01

If someone was rude, I'd realise it was about them and not me. I'd avoid the person and keep them at an arm's length, and nip it the bud, not let that acquaintance turn into a friend.

HeddaGarbled · 23/02/2023 00:02

I wouldn’t swear or be rude back. That just escalates the situation. I think walking away is sensible and having a cry is normal and understandable.

What is important, though, is the follow up. Next day, when everything’s calmed down, you need to say that it’s not OK to talk to you like that and then, if his behaviour doesn’t change, you need to split.

Simplethingsmarcg · 23/02/2023 00:05

Totally depends who did it. I'd be very shocked, doubt I'd be able to reply tbh

BreviloquentBastard · 23/02/2023 00:09

Depends who it was and what the context was, my relationship with some of my friends and coworkers is such that calling eachother dick heads is basically a term of endearment.

But if a stranger ever spoke to me like that for no reason I'd definitely hit back. I'm terrible for showing my teeth at the slightest provocation to be honest, it's probably not a good trait.

My husband has never swore at me in anger, I think if he ever did I'd be really upset, that's the only circumstance where I think I'd just cry rather than fighting back.

cassiatwenty · 23/02/2023 00:12

As for the whole partner/BF/husband, when things get to that point, it's very hard to deescalate the situation in the moment.

If possible, when both parties are calm, it might work to state that while you appreciate your BF, you don't appreciate him being vulgar.

Unfortunately a lot of relationship dynamics are about who has more power. A couple of thugs down the street may be annoying but when it's done, no impact on your life. Who you live with and how they behave does have direct impact on your life.

SouperNoodle · 23/02/2023 00:13

I shamefully have a temper. I'm usually extremely good at controlling it but if a stranger were to talk to me like that, I'd probably end up kicking off.

If my husband spoke to me like that, he wouldn't be my husband anymore.

WentForAWalk · 23/02/2023 00:36

If my partner spoke to me like that, I get rid of him. It's not normal to be called names in a relationship, it's abusive.

lljkk · 23/02/2023 02:47

Out of my life as fast as possible.
The only tolerance I could find is if it were my offspring, especially if I thought they were mentally unwell or being a selfish teenager, so it might be teenage oblivious.
I'd be heartbroken to cut off a kid ... I have coldly said "I wouldn't talk to you like that so why do you say those kinds of things to me?" when DC said far milder things than OP described.

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