Shit mum day and now I feel awful

[Andjustlikethat27]

My 4 year old wouldn't listen to me whilst out today. I told him that if he didn't listen we would need to go home.
He was running around and touching things he shouldn't in the shop. Then we went to meet grandma and he kept pulling faces and not listening so I put our coats on and said we were going home instead of the toy shop which is what he wanted. He screamed all the 25 minute journey home and I reached boiling point and screamed back.
Now I feel full of guilt and just bloody awful.

He's ok now, he even said in his best friend before he went to bed but I still can't help feel guilty for losing my cool.

What do others do when their children just go on and on and on without taking a breath?! For me that's the trigger. I even tried music to drown him out in the car to save my sanity but he was louder than the radio 😫

You shouted at him, that doesn’t make you a shit mum! We’re all human.

When mine were little and would not stop I found stopping the car was helpful sometimes. Definitely tried pull over before I lost it. I honestly don’t think them getting an earful when after repeatedly being told they get on your last nerve.

Tomorrow is another day. Try to judge yourself only as harshly as you judge others.

It took me a week to feel better after I shouted at my 3.5yo for not getting ready on time.

It's really hard but you aren't alone and our kids love us regardless.

The important part is that we meltdown in front of them and then apologise for it. That's what our generation isn't used to - the apology - and that's why we think anger and frustration etc are "bad" feelings.

You sound like a really normal, great mum.

When I have reached boiling point and am really triggered, I've started to sing my feelings/the instructions I'm trying to give etc. Sounds silly but my kid loves it and it diffuses the situation immediately.

most of us have been there and done that!
it’s pretty normal 😉
good on you for sticking to your guns as I do think that children need to learn there are consequences.. I’m sure you’ll get that he’s too young to know that but o tho l he’s at the age where he does understand that his actions do have consequences….
Big hug to you 🫡

Uggghhhhh I've had an episode like this recently with my 3-year-old. It's awful, I felt terrible afterwards, but you just reach the end of your tether!

I know it's not great but it happened and you can't change it - and look at the bright side, you followed through with a consequence for bad behaviour so he knows you mean business and it might help with his behaviour in the longer term!

When I shouted at DD I apologised to her afterwards, explained that I know it's wrong to shout and we have to be kind to each other.

Go easy on yourself - I reckon there are very few parents who don't reach this level of frustration at some point!

Honestly your 'shit mum' bar is too high. Losing your shit and then feeling sufficiently bad about it later is something most mum's have done. None of us are superhuman.

No idea if this is true but I chose to believe it - my friend read a study that said you basically only have to be in awesome mode for 30% of the time for your kids to remember you as a great mum. That's a lot of room for mistakes!

I did apologise to him after we had both calmed down. Still feel bloody awful for it though,
Told him that we are ok to have sad or angry days and I still love him no matter what.

Need to try and stop it getting to that point but my trigger is when he keeps repeating himself a million times and won't calm down 😫

Here it is

forestpsychology.com.au/good-enough-parenting/#:~:text=Winnicott%20found%20that%20meeting%20the,experiments%2C%20came%20to%20similar%20conclusions.

Don't beat yourself up, you shouted, nothing more!
On the other side apparently my mum used to flip her lid at me and my sister as we were relentless. I don't remember it and I love my mum to bits!