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Original poster

Money wedding present

16 replies

ErrolTheDragon · 21/02/2023 23:28

Nephew is marrying his long-time partner, on the invitation under Gift list there's the nice 'the most important thing is you can celebrate with us' type of thing, and that if we want to give something they'll gratefully accept a small contribution to the honeymoon'.

It's quite a while since I've attended a wedding, and never one with a monetary gift request so I'm a bit unsure what sort of amount is appropriate nowadays. I certainly don't want to be mean but don't want to appear an embarrassing lady bountiful either iykwim. £100? Higher or lower?

OP posts:

Jodielou5972 · 21/02/2023 23:31

I've recently been to a few weddings with the request for money gift. My grandad was actually the one who gave me a good idea! He always got couples a £50 note from the bank, it's a little special, not many people have even seen one, and it's a decent amount of money. I've done that ever since. I always get thank you messages off the couples saying how they loved it.

Tinkerbyebye · 21/02/2023 23:37

Can’t help you as I wouldn’t be giving cash. They want a honeymoon they can lay for it

they would get vouchers for a shop I know they use

Tinkerbyebye · 21/02/2023 23:37

Pay not lay

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Weddings

GoldilockMom · 21/02/2023 23:39

The suggestion is enough to cover your plate - so depends on venue and how expensive the do is- £100 sounds a normal amount.

Motheranddaughtertotwo · 21/02/2023 23:40

GoldilockMom · 21/02/2023 23:39

The suggestion is enough to cover your plate - so depends on venue and how expensive the do is- £100 sounds a normal amount.

This.

Pulchra76 · 21/02/2023 23:40

I usually gift £50 if it’s evening invite and £100 if it’s full day invite.

CC4712 · 21/02/2023 23:42

I find the asking for money on the invite cringy! We put nothing in ours, and 95% gave us cash or vouchers.

We generally give £100 if DH and I are attending the whole wedding. Gave more when SIL got married and gave £50 when I was an evening guest. It depends how close you are to.ne0hew and what you can afford. Any other relatives you could ask fir a ball park in your area/ family?

PenguinLove1 · 21/02/2023 23:43

Tinkerbyebye · 21/02/2023 23:37

Can’t help you as I wouldn’t be giving cash. They want a honeymoon they can lay for it

they would get vouchers for a shop I know they use

I never understand this thought process/ why give them something they dont want or need or force them to buy something with your voucher just because you dont want to help pay for a honeymoon? Surely its better the money goes to what they would actually like, if its a well intentioned gift you should want to make them happy with it?

I like when couples are clear on what they would like as it saves the money being wasted. And give what you can afford and would like to gift, but i do agree £100 is pretty standard these days.

AffIt · 21/02/2023 23:47

Tinkerbyebye · 21/02/2023 23:37

Can’t help you as I wouldn’t be giving cash. They want a honeymoon they can lay for it

they would get vouchers for a shop I know they use

Ooh, get you, you're so edgy - actively sneering at people who presumably like you enough to invite you to their wedding.

Tosser.

Anyway, OP, yes, generally £100 is about right if you're close enough to go to the whole day, £30-50 for evening.

Original poster

ErrolTheDragon · 21/02/2023 23:48

I like when couples are clear on what they would like as it saves the money being wasted.

Absolutely. Weird of someone to suggest vouchers instead.

Consensus seems to be around £100 - DH and my young adult DD are going too, she was on our invitation and I don't expect her to give cash to her older cousin so I guess I may go for £150

Thanks!

OP posts:

Tourmalines · 21/02/2023 23:49

Tinkerbyebye · 21/02/2023 23:37

Can’t help you as I wouldn’t be giving cash. They want a honeymoon they can lay for it

they would get vouchers for a shop I know they use

What’s the difference for you . You have to gift them anyway, why not just put it towards the honeymoon . Either way you will be paying . I’m not understanding your logic .

Aldith · 21/02/2023 23:57

Most of our guests gave DH and me £100 when we got married in 2019. Some people gave us cash and some gave us gift cards. We never asked for anything and were grateful for everything we were given.

Cash and gift cards are very common now as so many couples live together before they get married. They likely have most of the things that would have been traditional wedding presents already

UsingChangeofName · 22/02/2023 00:05

Tourmalines · 21/02/2023 23:49

What’s the difference for you . You have to gift them anyway, why not just put it towards the honeymoon . Either way you will be paying . I’m not understanding your logic .

Show quote history

This.
I can't understand the logic either.

I can sort of see it if you were broke and didn't want to give them a tenner, but found something that you think they would really like and gave it them as a gift (if someone really close that you actually know their taste and aren't just reflecting your taste), but if you are giving a voucher, they know how much you have spent anyway, so why not give it them in a way they can actually use ?

OP £15 (or £150 for the 3 of you) sounds fine, but it does depend on your budget and - to some extent - how many dn you will have getting married. If you only have one, it is a different prospect from if you have 15.

Remagirl · 22/02/2023 00:15

I'm always happy to contribute to something nice the couple want. Either a list item or cash. I once gave euros to a couple who were going off to France next day for honeymoon. Vouchers are so dodgy these days with so many businesses going under.

Anotherdayanotherdollar · 22/02/2023 00:23

Tinkerbyebye · 21/02/2023 23:37

Can’t help you as I wouldn’t be giving cash. They want a honeymoon they can lay for it

they would get vouchers for a shop I know they use

But why would you do this? If you want to give a gift that you know they will use just give the cash! Why are you so against contributing towards their honeymoon, but not their cushions/art work/bed linen or whatever? 🤔

Zanatdy · 22/02/2023 04:10

Yes I’d give £100 for a niece or nephew

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