BFP and suddenly terrified!

[daffodi]

Hoping for ‘mum’ style advice as I daren’t tell my own yet. Thanks so so much if you stick with this.

All I have ever wanted is to be a mummy, since I could talk. I’ve always daydreamed about this moment in my life. Now it’s here, and I feel so uneasy.

I tested positive two days ago on a first response test. It wasn’t an ident as there was colour there. Not entirely sure when I ovulated but researched up on it and I think I’d be around 10-11 days past ovulation.

Admittedly we’ve not been being careful but took the reckless approach of avoiding fertile days and believing it takes people months and months. Lesson learned, as for us it was quite literally one time.

I’m only 22 will be just turned 23 when baby is born, but it just sounds and is so terribly young, doesn’t it? DP is 25. We marry next year and we were hoping to buy a house this year, as it stands we’re still renting and I’m now very worried that buying will be impossible as everyone says to buy before kids. This house is fine for now- it’s home and we have a small spare room but could definitely do with more space. I have just landed on my feet within my career, as has DP. We are both earning nurse/teacher type starter wages without giving away what we do and are workaholics, we’re lucky to both be passionate about what we do.

I couldn’t sleep last night, with both excitement and anxiety, mainly the latter. I am worried I will lose my identity, worried about being judged for my age, worried about losing the fun in our relationship and draining the money from our bank accounts while we’re still so bloody young.

We have both been excited for years about the prospect of becoming parents one day and talk about it fairly often but didn’t anticipate it being so soon… I haven’t even told DP yet as I don’t know how he will take it. It doesn’t feel real.

The positives:

• Both our parents were in their 40s having us, so they will get to be average age grandparents
• Energy levels
• Biological ideal age

Can anyone think of anymore?

I just wanted a space to vent and hopefully seek some reassurance from others that things will be okay! If anyone has any personal stories of feeling similar themselves I would love to hear it… I feel so guilty that these feelings have already been the start to this journey.

Thank you in advance x

This feeling of panic is totally totally normal. I was actively trying for my first, then as soon as I had a positive pregnancy test I totally freaked out. I actually went as far as going for a consultation for an abortion.

The same feelings happened for my wanted second child, and I could at least then realise it was a normal part of pregnancy for me. Probably just a hormonal reaction.

I think most people feel the same. You’ll be fine (wonderful in fact!). If you’re worrying this much now about doing a good job you will be a fantastic mum.

I think it’s worth flagging these feelings at your midwife appointment. I did and had a lot of very positive support. For example they gave me extra scans to help me feel more comfortable/bonded with my baby.

I had the same panic, and I was a year older than you.

Positives:
You most probably won’t be going through the menopause the same time as your children are teenagers. My friends who waited until a decade later are currently living through the nightmare of teenage and middle age hormones clash.

You will still be working when they are in uni, which is financially very useful.

Energy

Not being worried about elderly parents and teens at the same time.

Not really, I was 23 when I had my first. No big deal.