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Original poster

Not buying my daughter presents for 1st birthday

20 replies

Notsurewhattodo29 · 20/02/2023 22:20

My baby girl will be one next month. It makes me so sad, the year has flown by.
Really considering not buying her anything and just going on a really good day out. She will get clothes/presents off family members.
has anyone done this? I don’t want to waste money on toys she may not use but maybe I’ll feel guilty.

OP posts:
SageRosemary · 20/02/2023 22:31

Yes, I've done this. We had lots of presents from family from her birth just stored away, wrapped something nice for her to pose with in a photo. Did similar for around the first four years of her life. And for her sibling.

Two reasons - 1. trying to be environmentally friendly, lovely well-meaning people gave us more things than any one child could use, even so, lots of unused gifts went to the charity shop too, hopefully some other family appreciated them being new. and 2. The money we saved is very useful at this stage of her life, she's at university now.

Our DC haven't missed out, they've had a load of life experiences and happy memories, as little pink and blue plastic as possible.

Original poster
Notsurewhattodo29 · 20/02/2023 22:37

SageRosemary · 20/02/2023 22:31

Yes, I've done this. We had lots of presents from family from her birth just stored away, wrapped something nice for her to pose with in a photo. Did similar for around the first four years of her life. And for her sibling.

Two reasons - 1. trying to be environmentally friendly, lovely well-meaning people gave us more things than any one child could use, even so, lots of unused gifts went to the charity shop too, hopefully some other family appreciated them being new. and 2. The money we saved is very useful at this stage of her life, she's at university now.

Our DC haven't missed out, they've had a load of life experiences and happy memories, as little pink and blue plastic as possible.

Thank you that is a good idea.
I just don’t think I want loads of toys around the house but I also think I would feel guilty if I got her nothing at all. If I went on a couple of day trips with her, i could take lots of photos for the memories.

OP posts:
OneCup · 20/02/2023 22:37

I agree it's pointless at this age

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Youvegotafriendinme · 20/02/2023 22:41

I completely agree. We bought DS far too much for his first 3 birthdays and Christmas’. Looking back, it was such a waste! With DD, we bought a hand made rag doll for her first birthday and it’s become her favourite toy but that was it. She just turned 2 and again, 1 item I knew she’d love. We put the money towards a lovely day out instead.

WhoHidTheCoffee · 20/02/2023 22:42

Day trips are a lovely idea. Forget the guilt, she doesn’t even know what a birthday is!

If you wanted to get her something that avoids waste but gives her something to open, you could:

  • get her something she can use outside as the weather improves.
  • get her something as a keepsake and toy, that’s a bit special, like a Grimms Rainbow or something. (I’m biased as we got one of these for DC2 and he still plays with it but it also looks nice!)
  • choose a favourite book you’d like to share with her as a toddler or as she gets older.

Enjoy the day together!

Rowen32 · 20/02/2023 22:46

We bought toys and books that got plenty of use as they grew, they loved looking at the photos and see what they got for their birthday..

WeightoftheWorld · 20/02/2023 22:47

My eldest is 4 and I can't for the life of me remember what we bought her for her first birthday! Definitely not something big or expensive. We couldn't have afforded it even if we'd wanted to, but she had so much stuff, we always spend very little on the kids at birthdays and Christmas. Probably about £30 each. They get loads from relatives and friends and don't need more. For her birthday we didn't really do anything, it was a weekday and we were both ar work, she was at nursery. A local festival was on in the park at the weekend so we took her there and invited family only and a few met up with us there for a bit and we all had some birthday cake. That's it. DS was poorly on his 1st birthday! So again didn't do anything. We had a joint birthday takeaway lunch at one of his grandparents as a belated birthday celebration with another relative and that was it.

LivingOnAPrayerYes · 20/02/2023 22:48

We've got 2 DCs coming up to 2 and 4, and we've still never really done presents for birthdays and Christmases!

They get loads from grandparents and others.

We did a stocking for Christmas with very very cheap bits in from Santa and the 3.5 year old still had no concept of not having received a gift from us. His 4th birthday I'd say he might have the understanding, but he'd also be genuinely incredibly happy with just a bag of chocolate.

What we've done instead is just buy stuff when needed and when they were at the exact right age. For example, we bought a climbing frame at the beginning of spring last year so they'd get the whole summer out of it, instead of waiting until mid-summer for birthdays. We'll see them have an interest in something and get them a related game whenever needed.

We definitely don't buy masses, but it probably adds up to what they'd get at birthdays and Christmases.

It works for us at the moment, but I'm sure it won't for much longer!

Kitcaterpillar · 20/02/2023 22:48

I agree in a way. But I also look at birthdays and Christmas as the time to get my DD the toys that will take her through the next year. I've picked her toys really carefully and now she has a good collection of stuff that gets played with a lot, rather than any old rubbish.

busytoddler.com/best-toys-for-1-year-olds/ - I've found these lists really useful as a starting point for what toys are useful and will last a long time.

But equally - yeah, a nice day out will be equally lovely. I just try and wrap life admin up into birthdays!

Rellywobble · 20/02/2023 22:53

OP I really understand where you are coming from because your daughter is too young to actually care but we did get our daughter a small wooden sit on rocking horse and she actually loved it !
Our grandchild is now loving it as well 💕

Luluem · 20/02/2023 22:55

Hi! My baby daughter is also turning 1 next month, and I wasn’t going to buy her anything. I bought a couple of books for Christmas for her, so maybe something similar, but I basically reasoned they were too young to know what was going on. But I do wonder if I’ll feel mean later! Best of luck xx

Original poster
Notsurewhattodo29 · 20/02/2023 22:57

some good suggestions, thank you.

My son is 4 and got so much at Christmas that I think it was overwhelming. I also like the idea of having less junk in the house 😂

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 20/02/2023 22:58

Books! We gave her books, mix of age appropriate, ones for older children and a couple of special hardback compilations like Bramley Hedge, which we get so much use from now she’s nearly 4. She loves knowing she got them for whichever birthday.

You don’t have to get anything but you can’t go wrong with books, they don’t take up much space and can give you so many hours of quality time.

Mamalamadrama · 20/02/2023 23:01

My DD was 11 months at Christmas. I bought her so much and she doesn't even play with any of them. She would rather crawl about investigating. So I didn't buy her anything for her birthday.

googledidnthelp · 20/02/2023 23:02

I bought my son slippers and took him to the sealife centre. We bought a small wooden toy as a momento in the gift shop - might do this every year to be honest and create new experiences and memories rather than gifts for the sake of them.
Other people gave money and gifts. He wasn't left without by any means

Tygertiger · 20/02/2023 23:04

I got both of mine a lovely illustrated hardback edition of a classic children’s book (Chronicles of Narnia, that kind of thing) and wrote them a little inscription. They still have them on their bookshelves now and it’s lovely to look back on, and I like to think they’ll read them to their own children one day.

UsingChangeofName · 20/02/2023 23:06

I agree there is no point in (many) parents getting stuff for 1st birthdays.
For all of ours we bought some Premium Bonds with money they got in cards, and the money we might otherwise have spent on (a) present(s) for them.

Far more useful, and the tiniest chance they might get a winning number or two.
Even if they don't, they can have that money later, when it will be useful to them.

WaltzingWaters · 20/02/2023 23:13

That’s what I plan to do with my little one for his first birthday in just over a month (I agree, how did it come around so quickly?!). A trip to the aquarium and I got a couple books from a charity shop and will probably get a few bits he needs like new pjs and water bottle. He’ll get lots from family and I don’t want the house overrun by toys!

Original poster
Notsurewhattodo29 · 21/02/2023 08:03

Some nice suggestions. I might buy her a book I can read to her now and when she’s older

I have booked glamping for one night around her birthday. It’s at a child friendly place and there’s a hot tub and we can do a bbq or something.

OP posts:
Cuwins · 21/02/2023 08:10

I guess it's different with a 2nd child but our only DD was 1 this month and I used it as an opportunity to get toys that she will grow into over the course of the year. She will be nearly 2 at Christmas and well past the baby toys she had so we needed some things for this year- I got her a hammer bench, shape sorter, some lift out puzzles, a set of wooden skittles, one of those musical nursery rhyme books and a little pull along train. However most of it was brought 2nd hand. Similarly she got a bubble machine, water drawing mat, a bucket and spade, one of the orchard toys 18m+ games and a new cup from other people.
She also got books and lots of clothes.

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