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Original poster

What do you think about this will?

125 replies

GlassTumbler · 20/02/2023 21:12

Man dies aged 81.

He has 5 children aged 54, 48, 32, 30, 28.

The first 2 children are from his first marriage.

The next 3 children are from his second marriage. He was married to someone 17 years younger than him for 35 years. She was 65 when he died.

He left everything in his will (£650,000 house, savings and generous pensions) to his wife. She was able to downsize a bit (to a £500,000 house) and live comfortably off everything else.

She is leaving everything in her will to her 3 children (the 32, 30 and 28 year old).

The only grand children this man had when he died were the 2 children of the 48 year old from his first marriage. He left them £5,000 each. But nothing to their parent or the older sibling.

Would appreciate any general thoughts! Thanks so much.

OP posts:
MrsMikeDrop · 21/02/2023 01:23

ijustneedanamefgs · 20/02/2023 22:43

Well half of it I assume was hers anyway? So her half should go to her kids, his half should go to all 5

Yes, actually this

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 21/02/2023 02:36

Why should his half go to all 5 if her half doesn't?

horriblehistorian · 21/02/2023 05:07

Not particularly fair but context will be important here. 2 older children have a mother too and if she received a house after divorce then it's fair. We don't really know the story so judging is not fair either

GGMTJ · 21/02/2023 05:14

Unfair but very common, unfortunately.

GGMTJ · 21/02/2023 05:17

Sorry, posted too soon. Was going to say that people justify this sort of thing to themselves in all sorts of ways, eg if the first two kids receive an inheritance from their own mother. Doesn’t make it fair but it’s a way of convincing oneself it’s fair. You even see it on here sometimes where people justify treating DSC unfairly because they have another parent to make up for it.

Orangetapemeasure · 21/02/2023 05:17

its a little bit complicated due to the second marriage, but surely the older 2 children should get a decent chunk of the inheritance……and the only reason they aren’t is because of his second wife. What he should have done was make provisions in his will to ensure his first 2 children got a share. I’ve heard of what you are describing before.
if it makes you feel any better I’m one of 3 siblings. DF died a long time ago. No second marriage to complicate. DM has just updated her will (estate value approx £1m) to cut me out of it because she ‘spent more time with you and time is more important than money’ and I apparently ‘don’t need any money’. All 3 siblings earn in the same ball park. I’ve gone LC, but it’s just eating me up.

FfoxRedN · 21/02/2023 05:25

Could it be he knew the two older ones will be the only ones to inherit from their mum and partner if she remarried?
It's still off, but it may explain the lack of her thought around it?

Frenchfancy · 21/02/2023 05:27

She has been married to him since she was 30! I think it is totally right that she gets it all. They are a partnership and the DC lead their own lives. There is no way of knowing if anyone will inherit from her. She might live another 40 years and spend it all.

OrderOfTheKookaburra · 21/02/2023 05:34

She should absolutely have divided it up between the 5 of them.

But the DH was an idiot. He should have left his half to the eldest DC and a life long trust for the DW, so that the first half was left to them. Or whatever share would make it 2/3rds.

verystablegenius · 21/02/2023 05:49

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 21/02/2023 02:36

Why should his half go to all 5 if her half doesn't?

He is the father to all 5, she only mother to 3?

Bumpitybumper · 21/02/2023 05:56

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 21/02/2023 02:36

Why should his half go to all 5 if her half doesn't?

Because this would respect everyone's personal autonomy to leave money to their descendants whilst still achieving a relatively 'fair' outcome.

The older children from the first marriage could inherit from their biological mother (who hasn't been mentioned by OP so we aren't sure about her financial position) and their father. Their father was married for a long time to the stepmother so it makes sense that the marital assets are split 50:50 between them in terms of sharing out inheritance at the end.

The father has five children so would split his 50% five ways, the stepmother had three biological children and two stepchildren so could split her share three of five ways. I guess one could argue it would be 'fairer' to split it three ways as the children from the original marriage also stand to inherit from their biological mother whereas the younger three children won't. Nothing is totally fair though in these kinds of complex situations so there isn't really a way to please everyone.

BadNomad · 21/02/2023 06:07

Is the house not automatically the wife's after his death? I'm assuming that it was the marital home. I don't think you can Will your joint house away to other people (unless tenants in common/split ownership). The same with joint savings and pensions.

He didn't leave anything to any of his children. So he treated them equally in that sense. Did he just want to leave everything to his wife to let her deal with it? Did he think she would leave something to the first children?

The thing is, once she inherited what she inherited, it no longer belongs to her husband. It is now hers, and her right to do what she wants with it. She wants to leave her money to her children.

MooBaby · 21/02/2023 06:10

heldinadream · 20/02/2023 21:17

Well he left everything (almost) to current wife, nothing to any children. Then it's hers, and of course she's going to leave it to her kids.

If he wanted it distributed among the kids he should have done something about that.

This.if he wanted to he could have done something about it.

Once she's inherited then it's completely up to her what she does and she is under no obligation to consider the other children of the family.

DarkNecessities · 21/02/2023 06:11

Frenchfancy · 21/02/2023 05:27

She has been married to him since she was 30! I think it is totally right that she gets it all. They are a partnership and the DC lead their own lives. There is no way of knowing if anyone will inherit from her. She might live another 40 years and spend it all.

This

It’s usual for the spouse to get everything.

DarkNecessities · 21/02/2023 06:13

OrderOfTheKookaburra · 21/02/2023 05:34

She should absolutely have divided it up between the 5 of them.

But the DH was an idiot. He should have left his half to the eldest DC and a life long trust for the DW, so that the first half was left to them. Or whatever share would make it 2/3rds.

Divide it up between the 5?
whst about his DW of 35 years

MooBaby · 21/02/2023 06:15

Also, presumably she'll be spending a lot of it on care home fees if she makes it to old age?

I don't see anything wrong with a husband giving his wife money. There were ways to do it if he'd wanted to do it in trust for his kids or something like that but he clearly wants to make sure she's looked after and that's nice.

DarkNecessities · 21/02/2023 06:22

The DW could remarry.
She could easily outlive his elder DC too

Nimbostratus100 · 21/02/2023 06:26

well, his wife was only 65 when he dies, and if she lives for another 30 years on the inheritance, there may be nothing left by the time she ides anyway - particularly if she needs years of care

so all this upset may be over a net sum of zero anyway

labamba007 · 21/02/2023 06:28

If I was step mum I would leave it to all 5 children. I'm sorry for older children, not nice at all.

Mxflamingnoravera · 21/02/2023 06:34

This nearly happened when my mum married her second husband. They were advised that it was the best thing to do to avoid inheritance tax. The children from both families were adults and told them what would happen if they did this (ie the kids from whoever died first could end up with nothing). They changed their wills, grumpily because they didn't want to see any of their money go in IHT).

He died first, his kids keep hassling me for money, they kept their money separate, they got theirs when he went. But these awful men have decided that my mum benefitted from being married to their dad and have been through his bank statements and asked me to return money that was transferred between them. I told them to fuck off (after taking legal advice). Second marriages can be a nightmare for the children to deal with after the death of one of them.

BlueHeelers · 21/02/2023 06:58

Fathers do this all the time. It is incredibly thoughtless and careless.

And second wives who do this are even more thoughtless and careless and venal.

The men who do this don’t realise just how much pain they cause. It’s where money seems to symbolise regard, love and significance. And the children of the first family are reminded by such a will of the way they’ve been discarded.

ShippingNews · 21/02/2023 07:07

FfoxRedN · 21/02/2023 05:25

Could it be he knew the two older ones will be the only ones to inherit from their mum and partner if she remarried?
It's still off, but it may explain the lack of her thought around it?

I'm in a similar situation to the wife. My DH ' s three adult children from his first marriage, stand to inherit a million pound property when their mother dies. Meantime , the assets that he and I have now, are less than half of that. So should my children have to divvy up that small amount with their step Brothers ? I don't think so . Every situation is different, op.

bumpytrumpy · 21/02/2023 07:19

GlassTumbler · 20/02/2023 21:21

Why do you think "of course she's going to leave it to her kids" @heldinadream? Don't you think she would divide it up amongst all 5 siblings, given the step children were in her family for more than 35 years?

If "fairness" was likely I think my she would have encouraged him to leave to the older kids upon death. In reality it will all go down her line now.

Classic tale of weak man choosing easy life I'm afraid. Sorry if he was your father.

ArcticSkewer · 21/02/2023 07:19

ShippingNews · 21/02/2023 07:07

I'm in a similar situation to the wife. My DH ' s three adult children from his first marriage, stand to inherit a million pound property when their mother dies. Meantime , the assets that he and I have now, are less than half of that. So should my children have to divvy up that small amount with their step Brothers ? I don't think so . Every situation is different, op.

Show quote history

They should inherit from both parents but thank goodness their mother at least isn't disinheriting them. Their father is a disgrace.

ArcticSkewer · 21/02/2023 07:20

BlueHeelers · 21/02/2023 06:58

Fathers do this all the time. It is incredibly thoughtless and careless.

And second wives who do this are even more thoughtless and careless and venal.

The men who do this don’t realise just how much pain they cause. It’s where money seems to symbolise regard, love and significance. And the children of the first family are reminded by such a will of the way they’ve been discarded.

Sadly also mothers do this. Look at Lynda Bellingham's poor sons.