Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Family never visit….

12 replies

Noeyeclare · 19/02/2023 15:50

Does it annoy you if you’re always the person who takes the DC to go visit family members? DH and I were discussing last night… he doesn’t see the issue but I’m fed up of always being the person who makes the effort. I’m not sure how much of GPS/aunts and uncles my DC would see if it was left to them to come to us.

My parents have not been to our house this year and MIL has been once but DH went to pick her up and bring her to the house

OP posts:
Gwen82 · 19/02/2023 15:52

Do you invite them?

Ellie1015 · 19/02/2023 15:53

Many people find hosting more stressful than visiting so they may think they are doing you a favour or not want to impose. Do they say no if you ask them over?

MissMarplesbag · 19/02/2023 16:22

Same here, except mine will come near my way with their friends but won't see me. However, I am expected to make the 3 hour journey to visit them otherwise they won't see us at all. They also complain if I book a holiday elsewhere but never make an effort to see us.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families
NancyJoan · 19/02/2023 16:25

I spent years saying ‘The M4 does have lanes that go in both directions, you know.’ Didn’t make a blind bit of difference.

murasaki · 19/02/2023 16:30

@NancyJoan I used the exact same argument re trains between London and Birmingham. Luckily it did shut them up a bit.

Fairyliz · 19/02/2023 16:35

How old are they? Do you invite them? Are you pleased and enthusiastic when they come? Some people wait for an invitation and won’t just invite themselves.
After reading MN I wouldn’t go anywhere without an invitation.

Chasedbythechaser · 19/02/2023 16:38

Do you invite them?
Do they have transport?

MissMarplesbag · 19/02/2023 16:42

I do invite my family but they very rarely come to visit us. The last time my mum came was in 2019 and my brother in 2017.

Simplelobsterhat · 19/02/2023 16:44

I find visiting people far far easier and less stressful then hosting! So no it wouldn't annoy me (the only exception being Christmas because it's hard to pack all the kids presents, or if we need to work so it may be easier for a retired person to come to us as long as they are not offended we aren't with them all day).

But if it does bother you, do you invite them? Say it's easier for you if they come to you this time? Many people would wait to be invited, or assume they are doing you a favour by catering for you.

stopringingme · 19/02/2023 16:49

I prefer visiting as then I can leave when I am ready.

pawz · 19/02/2023 16:50

Oo that's hard. We never go to BILs to see him and nephew, because the house is an absolute tip and tiny so it just feels cramped and stressful and tbh I don't want to be inside it because it's so icky.

We tend to invite them over, see them at MILs or meet outside in neutral places. We can also run when ready, it's nice to be able to just up and leave!

Have you invited them and been rejected?

Chowtime · 19/02/2023 16:53

So what happens when you say to them "I'm cooking up a big roast dinner on Sunday would you like to join us"?

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread