How can I stop feeling so overwhelmed

[confusedlots]

I'm pretty sure I have ADHD which obviously is making things worse, but I am feeling so overwhelmed with life that I can't work out if I'm about to have a mental breakdown or if I just want to curl up in bed for a week with no one to disturb me.

Usual family and life stuff going on, 2 young kids and I work part time.

Very sudden deterioration in health of a parent, they are struggling to cope at home.

Living in temporary accommodation while we do major house renovations. We need to get out of here soon but the house isn't nearly ready, and I have a million and one decisions still to make but can't see the wood for the trees.

The house we're currently living in is a complete mess. I am not kidding you that you would think a bin lorry has just dumped its contents into the house. Random stuff piled up everywhere and I can't find anything. I burst into tears the other day because I could not find a hairbrush anywhere.

I am so overwhelmed and anxious that I can't do anything but that's only making things worse because I know I need to at least get the house into order and get tiles etc picked for our house so we can get out of here and moved in.

Please help!

God this is me, I sympathise. Dh is losing patience with me as I just can't seem to cope with even the simplest of things 'going wrong'. I'm in permanent fight/flight/freeze mode and its exhausting.

Try and get out in the fresh air as much as possible.
Take vitamin D (until April depending on the weather)
Yoga helps too.

In much the same state. Lists help. At least they clear the jumble out of my brain and onto a page.

Make a list. Things that make you feel balanced/recharged right now and things that don't. What drains you right now, if possible, take off your plate.

Firstly, if you haven't already spoken to your GP - speak to them. If you've got ADHD, they can begin getting the ball rolling for diagnosis - some people respond well to medication, some don't - but having a diagnosis can often help people (NB - there is a long waiting list). They may also be able to prescribe you a short course of anti-depressants which may help mitigate the anxiety symptoms.

Secondly, and as someone with ADHD, lists are invaluable. I try to split my lists down to a couple of bigger tasks that will take time, followed by a few smaller ones that are easy to achieve. There is a notable dopamine hit from achieving even the smallest of tasks, but even if they are not all achieved, the art of writing down what is usually crashing around in your head helps massively.

Meditation, fresh air and exercise is important too, as is a decent diet (where possible, don't put more pressure on yourself if you find this hard) and controlled caffeine intake.

I am going to make a list this evening once I get the kids into bed. I agree that should help a bit. At the minute one thing is going round and round in my head, then I suddenly remember something else I need to do and I just get so overwhelmed and don't achieve anything.

So tonight's jobs are to make a list, send a couple of emails I've been meaning to send for ages, get the kids school stuff ready for tomorrow and tidy a small corner in my complete disgrace of a bedroom.

Small steps

I don't have much advice but I'm watching the thread with interest as it sounds a lot like me!

@confusedlots Good start, see doing good already 😉

When I feel overwhelmed I make a list.

Doesn't seem to matter what kind of list. Just make one. Get all your worries out of your brain so that you can look at them and organise them without it being all this conflicting constant jumble of noise.

It's sounds to me like you have enough going on to overwhelm anybody. A lesser woman would have run away by now screaming and you're still brushing your hair. Or at least trying to. I'm in awe.

A nip of cheap cognac from a tablespoon a couple of times an evening helped mid-renovation, when I was stuck as a single parent living in a newly plastered downstairs that stank , no kitchen, no money and the bastard electrics went down.

😁

@Datdamndamp your post actually made me cry a little. I do have a DH, and he is doing a fantastic job with the house renovations so it's not like he's not doing anything, he's working long hours on that and working full time too. But he is not the type of person to get stressed or overwhelmed, he just gets on with things, so I don't think he really gets why life is all proving too much for me at the moment.

Actually having someone say that I do in fact have a lot to deal with and to say that you're in awe of me (which you seriously wouldn't be if you saw the reality of me handling life at the moment) means so much, so thank you

Awwww, bless you, I wish I could send you a tablespoon of cognac right now.

I'm glad to hear your DH is working hard but there's working hard at something and taking emotional responsibility for it and maybe you're doing more of the latter? My child free, non-working sis found having to make lots of decisions around a big build hard. When you're the person who has to make the final choice on lots of things like where the light switches go etc. and you know things can't be easily or cheaply altered it's tough.

If you're juggling that and work and worry for a parent and how that might impact your family that's a lot. Having to be somewhere interim where you can't get on top of it because of everything else is massively stressful and miserable. (I've been in the upended bin lorry situation and it's HORRIBLE).

When I'm at the end of my tether, I just have to remind myself at some point I'll have got past it and I just need to keep plodding.

Good luck and yes, you're great. 😁

Sometimes it can help just to focus on what you need to do that day / that week.

Sending good vibes your way OP, you're not alone xxx