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Original poster

End of life care

9 replies

Rose3434 · 19/02/2023 06:46

My 90 year old MIL is currently fading away in hospital. She has had multiple strokes and has now had a brain stem stroke. It is believed that she has advanced Lymphoma causing the strokes . She is unconscious and out of it now.
The day before yesterday, the Doctor discussed withdrawing medical interventions and allowing her to pass peacefully. However, yesterday a different Doctor yesterday instructed nurses to continue with the nutrition feed. There seemed to be a dispute between nursing staff with the Doctor as the nurses were saying she is at the end of life.
This situation seems desperately sad as the doctors are prolonging her passing when the nurses believe that it is not in her best interests. The nurses feel the doctors don't want to take responsibility for end of life care.
Has anyone else experienced this?

OP posts:

LittleMG · 19/02/2023 06:48

How awful, I’m so sorry. Hope you’re family are coping xx

SpringIsSpringing23 · 19/02/2023 07:33

Your husband and his family need to speak up. Don't just let doctors decide. Does she have a respect form?

Original poster

Rose3434 · 19/02/2023 07:58

SpringIsSpringing23 · 19/02/2023 07:33

Your husband and his family need to speak up. Don't just let doctors decide. Does she have a respect form?

That's exactly what my husband has now done. He stopped them replacing the nutrition feed bag this morning as it seems cruel to prolong her suffering.
I don't know what a respect form is though.

OP posts:

KangarooKenny · 19/02/2023 07:59

Has he signed a DNR ?

rainbowstardrops · 19/02/2023 07:59

Firstly, I am so sorry to hear your MIL is fading away

I agree with @SpringIsSpringing23 in that your DH and his family need to discuss this with the doctors and nursing staff.

My MIL suffered mini strokes and then a major stroke a few years back and my DH and his sister had a meeting with the medical team to discuss end of life care as it was clear she wasn't going to improve. I would suggest asking for that.

rainbowstardrops · 19/02/2023 08:00

Sorry, cross post. I'm glad your DH has stood up for his poor mum

Original poster

Rose3434 · 19/02/2023 08:19

rainbowstardrops · 19/02/2023 08:00

Sorry, cross post. I'm glad your DH has stood up for his poor mum

Thank you ❤️. What made it more difficult is that end of life care had been agreed by the doctor and family members a few days ago, only for different doctors to seemingly override it.
I hope that as DH has spoken up on his Mum's behalf, the doctors will now revert to the end of life plan originally agreed.

OP posts:

rainbowstardrops · 19/02/2023 08:21

@Rose3434 how frustrating to have conflicting opinions from doctors. I hope your MIL can pass peacefully

Smoothlines · 19/02/2023 08:25

It does make you wonder what happens to people who don’t have any family to advocate for them - are they just left to suffer or made to suffer unnecessarily?

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