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Original poster

Am I expecting to much

10 replies

Funnybunny12 · 18/02/2023 23:03

Partner and I spend lots of time at home together in the evenings but rarely go out of spend a day together due to work and his hobby/ volunteer work. We had a lovely day out booked on to a spa and he spent time laying on the lounger watching the football with his headphones. He did come in the pool for a bit but every second of the day we were done doing something he was back to headphones in and watching. I get his team were playing but he picked the date so could have chosen a day when they weren’t. It just dampened the day a little for me. He thinks he hasn’t done anything wrong and that he did spend the day with me and we had a nice time together. He also mentioned we spend a lot of time together anyway not exactly true I’m in bed and he’s watching match of the day.

OP posts:

Ruthy45 · 18/02/2023 23:17

I'm not trying to make excuses for him but could he be depressed? I get depressed/anxious and find myself zoning out a lot looking for distractions as it helps me cope.

Original poster

Funnybunny12 · 18/02/2023 23:46

Definitely not depressed just football mad

OP posts:

Ruthy45 · 18/02/2023 23:51

Oh ok, in the case you're not wrong in feeling how you do. He could of least spent more time with you at the Spa. I wouldn't be happy about it either.

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Sparklesandsunshine1 · 19/02/2023 10:38

This would have annoyed me (I hate football oh loves it) however we did a spa as our Christmas gift to each other last month
I found out I was pregnant so even though I insisted OH go into the rooms I couldn’t sauna etc he stayed out and did things we could do together honestly wouldn’t have minded but he just wouldn’t
football at home I get (through gritted teeth 😂) but not when your away on a nice weekend together

HannahSpanna · 19/02/2023 10:42

This sounds like my partner, he’s football mad - has a season ticket, watches lots on the tv etc. we’ve been together 10 years and I’ve just come to accept that’s him 🤷🏼‍♀️
I always google his teams fixtures before planning anything to make sure it doesn’t clash, but if it does clash with a game I just plan a visit to a pub during the weekend away / day out so he can enjoy the football and I get a glass of wine!

i think we all have our quirks and sometimes it’s easier to embrace it rather than trying to change them!

frozendaisy · 19/02/2023 10:45

If a football is on, I only accept his actual team, I use the two hours to read.

It's only two hours in a day.

Rodneyisaplonker · 19/02/2023 10:46

I’m not sure. I’ve not met many men who love a spa day to be honest. Was it his idea? Could he have been bored?

GoodChat · 19/02/2023 10:46

It's just rude if you're doing a specific activity together for him to decide he's doing something else instead.

If you went for a meal and he decided he was going to sit at the bar instead it'd be rude too. This feels similar. Being near you is not the same as being with you.

MrsSkylerWhite · 19/02/2023 10:46

Does he actually like going to spas? I’d hate it.

sunseaandme · 19/02/2023 10:55

That would annoy me! Because as you say nothing wrong with him wanting to watch his team play but why book spa for the same day? There's a difference between spending time together (sat on sofa next to each other) and quality time (like a spa day)

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