Do your DC have a "thing"? finding what makes your child "special"/stand out?

[fleurdelee]

By a thing I mean do they have a "specialist subject/sport/whatever"

I was with a mum friend during the week and mentioned in passing that DC1 (14) was out doing a fairly unusual activity - DC has not been doing it that long (since last summer) but seems to enjoy it a fair amount.

Friend: "Oh so is that your DC1's thing then? I still haven't found that for my DC3 - both siblings are captains at sport but DC3 hasn't seemed to settle"

DC3 in this case is just 9 years old

I have been trying to give mine a well-rounded (state) education - the chance to try different things - to do a bit of sport, drama, music, choir, gymnastics and anything else they've been drawn to as well as cubs/scouts - not all at the same time!!

One thing the independent schools seem to market themselves about is "we will find your child's strength and nurture and draw it out and bring them out of themselves." Maybe this is what creates the "confidence" ?

On the opposite viewpoint I heard an anecdote about a mum at a weekly lesson at the riding school comparing her DD to another child "gosh your DD's riding has come on hugely" "it should be, she is up here 4x a week. When they reach secondary we make them pick a thing and stick at it. Hers is riding, her brother's is golf. That way they learn resilience, they get good at something and we only have 2 locations to go to."

What if they want to try new things?

My question I guess is:
Do you think children even need a "thing"?
I am mid40s and have a fair amount of specialist subjects/things that I'm good at - I certainly don't think that anyone would pigeonhole me in that way?

Interested to hear your thoughts.

You're right that this is a very MN thing to a certain extent

I disagree that it's a money thing, as while some activities are ££, the baden Powell stuff is not expensive at all and many team sports are also very good value too and many "get into" sessions are run cheaply

Might not want to refer to it as ‘Baden Powell’ stuff, especially in the context of children being ‘special’

DD1 has been through several, enjoys them, then moves on.
DD2 is at college persueing her thing as a career. Didn't really realize how much of a thing it was until about 15.
DD3 was always flakey with hobbies and clubs when little until she found her thing. She would love to do it everyday, but we can't afford that.
I guess all are different. Even having a thing doesn't have to be all encompassing.

It’s not just for those who have money but that helps. It does require the privilege of having invested parents who set the example and have time to support it, which is why most professional musicians and sportspeople are middle class.

I think the key is getting them started young. It’s harder for children to start at ten if their peers have been doing it since they were five.

Some do, some don’t - although actually the ones who “don’t” enjoy gaming with friends so they actually do, but not anything worthy in the traditional sense. Does faming 3 nghts a week build resilience? Probably not tbh.

One of mine had a "thing" that was obvious from when he was quite young. He now makes a reasonable living in his "thing" and a related field. My other one liked doing lots of different stuff, never had a "thing" but had a very nice time.

In my opinion, most kids can become reasonably proficient at most things given enough focus and time and money. But I'm not sure what good it does. If they're having fun, that's fine. But very few of my adult children's school friends are still even doing whatever was considered their "thing" and which they gave up huge amounts of time and money in childhood to.

I agree, what they are interested and good at at one part of their lives shouldn't then be thought of as their sole 'thing'.
My son is sporty, but not particularly talented at it. Loved rugby at school but was never picked to trail for the county (much to his huge disappointment). But he's still very much into sport and fitness and goes to the gym daily and has taken up kick-boxing. Fitness is his 'thing' but not a specific thing if you know what I mean (like running beyond all other sport).
My daughter is arty. But also good at and loves science. Really annoying that the A level system makes them narrow their choices so much. She'd have loved to do more science just for interest. But Art is her 'thing' and she will go to art university (she did take Psychology A level).
Being pigeon-holed also creates expectations that then seem to then trap some people. My friend's Dad was a doctor, and for lack of any other desire she said she wanted to be a doctor too at about 14/15. So suddenly that was what she had to do. As it happened she didn't get the grades needed, did law instead and ended up with a fantastic job with the EU. But she always felt she let everyone down by not becoming what was expected.
Most people don't have one definite passion. But wider interests - I like crafts and have tried a few (mosaics, ceramics, felting). My sister on the other hand does quilting and textile art specifically. She's a doctor but this is her creative release.
Nurturing an interest or hobby is great, but making it their be all and end all can be a big mistake.