So it's my birthday today

[Birthdaygirltoday33]

And I'm posting on chat, just to get some perspective. My SIL and me both share the same birthday (today, 17th February). I love my SIL like she's my own sister, and regularly send her emails/presents/messages as she lives in north America. When it's our birthday, we'll always email snd wish each other happy birthday, gifts happen when they happen. My issue is my BILs, (husband's brothers).

I always organize buy/send gifts and wish BILs happy birthday, but they don't do the same for me, even a card, or an email. This year they (husband's brothers) jointly paid for SIL to have a spa day (which she totally deserves), but I don't even get an email, card, text or anything...it's like I don't exist or matter. Just feeling a bit sad, I try to not let it get to me, and just expect to happen, not sure what else to add, just feeling wistful.

Happy Birthday!

Are your BILs yous SIL's brothers? So they're buying for a sibling, rather than a SIL?

If so, it wouldn't bother me. I would stop buying your BILs birthday gifts if they are not reciprocating.

Happy birthday OP

Just trying to get the relationships worked out - SIL and your two BILs are all siblings of your husband, is that right?

I think it's careless of them not to send a card or online greetings, especially as the date coincides with your SIL so is easily remembered.

I can understand more not giving an actual gift - for cost reasons, the line often has to be drawn somewhere and by blood relatives is not unusual. I give my sister a gift, but not her longterm DP, for example.

In future I would leave any gifts to be organised by your husband and just do a card or email to your BILs.

If she’s their sister l, then I don’t see the issue. It’s nice that you & SIL share some birthday fun together.

Happy birthday.

I agree that their relationship to your SIL needs defining.

SIL is their sister..been married to dh for 11 years

A simple email would be suffice...

Happy birthday. I think you're being a bit silly. She's their actual sister, of course their relationship with her is vastly different than with you. I wouldn't expect you to send them presents, so since it's not reciprocated, stop.

Thank you, just needed another perspective and to give my head a wobble

Then I think it’s understandable that they buy her a gift but I do think it’s thoughtless not to think of you as well.

They could send you a message but I wouldn't be expecting a present unless it was a special birthday.

I would also expect my DH to but for his own siblings so time to pass that responsibility back to him!

She's his sister a present is understandable, I wouldn't expect a present as well however not to even wish you a simple happy birthday is a bit shit.

My love language isn't gifts or presents, just a message acknowledging my birthday would be enough for this old girl.