I cried at work today

[CursedKirstt]

Basically, my line manager is mentally unstable. I have the utmost sympathy for her as I’ve had my own mental health struggles in the past, however, I can’t deal with being spoken to rudely and mistreated any longer. She is also trying to manipulate me by fawning over my colleagues in order to make me feel ostracised.

I now feel mortified that I ended up bursting into tears leaving work today. Only one person saw me, but I was in a bit of a state and I’m so embarrassed.

For reasons I can’t elaborate on, there’s no way for me to continue in my chosen field unless I stay with this employer. So leaving means leaving the job I wish to do. However, I can’t continue feeling this way 😢

Now I’ve got the hole weekend to wonder how things will be on Monday after what has happened today 😥

How big is the company? Do you have a HR team? I would speak with them immediately. If you don't is there anyone more senior you can speak with.

Go above them. Be calm and rational but state your case. Look up bullying and harassment in the work place and join a union. Good luck - it's s horrible thing to experience.

Can you challenge her in private? Bullies tend to back down once challenged I find. Is there anyone above this line manager you are able to speak to? Don't leave a job because of one person. Good luck op.

I'm sorry, that sounds like a rubbish situation and not your fault. You could try contacting ACAS for a bit of advice and support - it's free - www.acas.org.uk/.

Best wishes to you. x

My experience (rightly or wrongly) is that other people don't think much of colleagues crying at work, or think a great deal about it if they see it OP, so I wouldn't worry about that. They have their own lives and probably just assume it's a personal issue and will forget about it 5 minutes later.

Re: the issue with your line manager - what is the HR setup at your place of work? is there a dedicated department, if not who is this persons line manager?

Whilst I don't dispute the situation sounds very hard for you, my advice would be to absolutely avoid passing on or making your belief that she has "mentally unstable" any basis of your complaint.

Put the issues in writing and stick to facts only - eg exact instances where you have been spoken to rudely or inappropriately , what exactly was said by whom on what date, how that made you feel, any specific situations where you were ostracised at work and the context for it, any occasions you were impeded from doing your job by this person. Document these instances and put a complaint into writing. Any investigation done into the matter will focus on those things only, and what evidence there is to support that this happened (eg - emails, messages, conversations there was a witness for to support the claim).

Thanks all. I’m going to go to her superior. I will keep it factual, as suggested. I think I need a notebook where I can begin recording each incident. Some of it is low level but just continual. Other things are more obviously inappropriate. I just need to be able to keep my cool when I speak to her boss and not let my emotions take over.

Sounds like a wise thing to do. Good luck with it. x