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Original poster

If you’re child free, who are you planning to leave everything to?

154 replies

TeapotCollection · 17/02/2023 14:04

We’re early 50s and think we should write our Wills. We’ve got family but, to put it bluntly, no one who we want to have everything we’re working hard for. There probably won’t be a lot of cash because we’re going to spend it 😃 but very likely to be a property worth at least 200k (todays prices). We did think about selling our property to one those equity release companies but I was strongly advised against this on here

If we divide it between charities will the cost of processing the Will be horrendous?

Another thing is that we know certain family members will be expecting us to split everything between our nieces and nephews. Tough shit?

Going away for a couple of nights in a few hours so apologies in advance for being quiet over the weekend

OP posts:
MolkosTeenageAngst · 18/02/2023 00:12

I’m only in my 30s so not thought about it a great deal and not sure how much I will have left to leave to anybody, but I expect I would leave the majority to be divided between various charities. I might leave some to my nephews but they will inherit from their parents (who have more assets than I do) so probably not everything.

determinedtomakethiswork · 18/02/2023 09:57

One of my elderly aunts many years ago, had £30,000 in cash as well as her house etc. With that 30,000 left 30 friends £1000 each and put a really nice reason why they were getting that in her will. It was really nice as she was able to cover old sc friends, people she had worked with, her cleaner, her gardener, etc.

Aphrathestorm · 18/02/2023 14:51

In response to questions about why the resentment no one is begrudging her wanting to give a large sim to charity.

But there are a few relatives with young DCs, struggling, in houses too small, no holidays etc (pre CoL). Even a couple of thousand each to go on a holiday would have been so appreciated and the charity would still have got a vast sum.

It would have given nice memories associated with her.

But now no one visits her grave.

The charity doesn't care.

Her life will be quickly forgotten.

whumpthereitis · 18/02/2023 15:01

Aphrathestorm · 18/02/2023 14:51

In response to questions about why the resentment no one is begrudging her wanting to give a large sim to charity.

But there are a few relatives with young DCs, struggling, in houses too small, no holidays etc (pre CoL). Even a couple of thousand each to go on a holiday would have been so appreciated and the charity would still have got a vast sum.

It would have given nice memories associated with her.

But now no one visits her grave.

The charity doesn't care.

Her life will be quickly forgotten.

She’ll be dead and entirely incapable of giving a shit.

I will also be leaving my money to charities, I have a list of animal ones I already support, small ones where the money I know will have great impact. Whether I’m remembered or not when I cease to exist is unimportant to, what is important is the aforementioned impact I know that money will have. My wanting that is not contingent on my name being immortalized.

OriginalUsername2 · 18/02/2023 15:10

Aphrathestorm · 18/02/2023 14:51

In response to questions about why the resentment no one is begrudging her wanting to give a large sim to charity.

But there are a few relatives with young DCs, struggling, in houses too small, no holidays etc (pre CoL). Even a couple of thousand each to go on a holiday would have been so appreciated and the charity would still have got a vast sum.

It would have given nice memories associated with her.

But now no one visits her grave.

The charity doesn't care.

Her life will be quickly forgotten.

They would have visited her grave if she gave them a holiday though?! Wow.

Deedippy · 18/02/2023 15:11

Grass roots football sounds like a great idea. Definitely choose small charities that are closer to your heart. Would also say spend as much as you can and also think about friends and other people from you life that have made a difference or meant alot to you, even if that was years ago

sammylady37 · 18/02/2023 15:23

Aphrathestorm · 18/02/2023 14:51

In response to questions about why the resentment no one is begrudging her wanting to give a large sim to charity.

But there are a few relatives with young DCs, struggling, in houses too small, no holidays etc (pre CoL). Even a couple of thousand each to go on a holiday would have been so appreciated and the charity would still have got a vast sum.

It would have given nice memories associated with her.

But now no one visits her grave.

The charity doesn't care.

Her life will be quickly forgotten.

Jesus. The entitlement of those people is shocking. And the bitterness too, they won’t even visit her grave because she didn’t leave them money. Awful people. She was right to leave her money to charity and their behaviour proves that.

Theunitof22 · 18/02/2023 15:37

sammylady37 · 18/02/2023 15:23

Jesus. The entitlement of those people is shocking. And the bitterness too, they won’t even visit her grave because she didn’t leave them money. Awful people. She was right to leave her money to charity and their behaviour proves that.

Show quote history

I agree, if they were my relatives and I knew they were like that I’d be writing them out of my will as well!

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 18/02/2023 15:42

Her life will be quickly forgotten

Her life will be forgotten anyway in a generation unless she was famous for something.

Good thread, some food for thought here about big and small charities and other things.

gettingalifttothestation · 18/02/2023 15:45

I think I'd look for someone who really deserved a windfall someone who's had nothing but bad luck but that's a good person who helps others.

Wiccan · 18/02/2023 16:02

We are leaving ours to animal charities we have 2 adult DD who only see us when they want something and treat us like we don't exist so may as well be childless . So they are getting naff all ! We don't have any other family apart from our gorgeous dog who lives like a queen .

heldup · 18/02/2023 16:04

Obviously its yours to do what you want with but i find your attitude strange. Did either of you inherit from family? Becuase if you did i would say some element of your estate is family money and should remain within your family if its surplus to your needs.

Spectre8 · 18/02/2023 16:10

Some to my 2 nephews. If my older sister survi es mr than to her. Some to my friends who really played important part in my life.

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 18/02/2023 16:14

heldup · 18/02/2023 16:04

Obviously its yours to do what you want with but i find your attitude strange. Did either of you inherit from family? Becuase if you did i would say some element of your estate is family money and should remain within your family if its surplus to your needs.

I'm baffled by this 'some of your money is family money.' Even if OP inherited something, it was hers to do with as she likes. I bought my flat with a split of equity between me and exh when we sold the marital home, does that mean I should leave him some money as well?

whumpthereitis · 18/02/2023 16:42

heldup · 18/02/2023 16:04

Obviously its yours to do what you want with but i find your attitude strange. Did either of you inherit from family? Becuase if you did i would say some element of your estate is family money and should remain within your family if its surplus to your needs.

She doesn’t need you to approve, or to not find it strange though, does she?

It’s her money to do what she likes with. Even if inherited, ownership has passed to her, so it’s hers.

DysonBison · 18/02/2023 17:16

Why is it 'strange' for childless Janet to leave her inherited money to the donkeys but fine for mum-of-three Josie to spend hers on a lifetime's supply of Crunchie bars?

Farmageddon · 18/02/2023 17:29

There's such a weird attitude to childless people and what they should and shouldn't do with their time and money. Like as though they didn't fulfill the requirement of childrearing (they somehow got off scott free) so they should hand what they have over to relatives with children, even if nobody deserves it. What a load of shit.

As for the person saying 'her life will soon be forgotten' - so what? in reality, most of us will be forgotten eventually, unless we are famous or invent something - shock horror, your great grandchildren probably won't give a shit who you were.

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 18/02/2023 17:44

Farmageddon · 18/02/2023 17:29

There's such a weird attitude to childless people and what they should and shouldn't do with their time and money. Like as though they didn't fulfill the requirement of childrearing (they somehow got off scott free) so they should hand what they have over to relatives with children, even if nobody deserves it. What a load of shit.

As for the person saying 'her life will soon be forgotten' - so what? in reality, most of us will be forgotten eventually, unless we are famous or invent something - shock horror, your great grandchildren probably won't give a shit who you were.

I find the same in the way childfree from choice women feel compelled to say 'but I have nieces and nephews whom I absolutely adore' as if to prove to everyone that not having reproduced doesn't mean they're a child-eating ogre. And of course you have to volunteer and have worthwhile hobbies and an absorbing job to prove you're worthily using all that time that by rights should be used for child rearing.

shock horror, your great grandchildren probably won't give a shit who you were

I can name three of my great grandparents. I have no idea about the ones on DF's side.

PlaitBilledDuckyPuss · 18/02/2023 17:45

whumpthereitis · 18/02/2023 16:42

She doesn’t need you to approve, or to not find it strange though, does she?

It’s her money to do what she likes with. Even if inherited, ownership has passed to her, so it’s hers.

Show quote history

Why assume there is family left? My dad was an only child - should I inherit anything from him, his only family are obscure second cousins whom I wouldn't know if I fell over them.

TheSnowyOwl · 18/02/2023 17:50

Do you have any pets as maybe whoever ends up looking after them. Otherwise I agree about splashing out on a luxury care home. If you are only looking at £100-200k then it’s very easy to spend it in a few weeks, especially if you can go away on holiday.

whumpthereitis · 18/02/2023 17:53

Farmageddon · 18/02/2023 17:29

There's such a weird attitude to childless people and what they should and shouldn't do with their time and money. Like as though they didn't fulfill the requirement of childrearing (they somehow got off scott free) so they should hand what they have over to relatives with children, even if nobody deserves it. What a load of shit.

As for the person saying 'her life will soon be forgotten' - so what? in reality, most of us will be forgotten eventually, unless we are famous or invent something - shock horror, your great grandchildren probably won't give a shit who you were.

It’s wild. It’s like if you’re childfree and you have things you don’t really deserve because they don’t benefit children, you must then make sure that it all goes to family children, even if they’re essentially strangers.

It doesn’t matter if you have friends that are family to you, or charitable causes you have a deep emotional attachment to, the only thing that counts is the accident of birth that is shared DNA.

TheatreWizard · 18/02/2023 20:11

Do what you want - big or small characters, family or friends, just don't dangle it like a party pinata too early in the party.

AttilasHuns · 18/02/2023 20:59

Aphrathestorm · 18/02/2023 14:51

In response to questions about why the resentment no one is begrudging her wanting to give a large sim to charity.

But there are a few relatives with young DCs, struggling, in houses too small, no holidays etc (pre CoL). Even a couple of thousand each to go on a holiday would have been so appreciated and the charity would still have got a vast sum.

It would have given nice memories associated with her.

But now no one visits her grave.

The charity doesn't care.

Her life will be quickly forgotten.

The reason I asked why the resentment is did the family make time for her, include her, be there for her when she was alive?

It would have given nice memories associated with her. So does that mean they don’t have any nice memories associated with her? One holiday would have had them remembering her forever and visiting her grave?

Liorae · 19/02/2023 02:25

But now no one visits her grave.
As a dead person, I doubt she gives a shit.

Selttan · 19/02/2023 02:37

I've been thinking I should do a will. Currently it'll automatically go to my parents which is fine but ultimately I will leave to my niece and nephew.

I need to put some thought into it as while my niece is an adult my nephew is a minor and I don't want his parents to be able to touch it, nor do I want him to have access till 25 as he'd just hand it over to his parents who'd blow it on booze and drugs.