Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

I cant help myself & I feel like I'm headed toward collapse.

2 replies

ColdTap · 17/02/2023 12:32

I have chronic ADHD (diagnosed about a year ago) and started on Elvanse (an amphetamine), which made a huge positive difference to my motivation and ability to organise and handle stress.
However it seems it's not making much of a dent lately and I feel as if I'm headed towards a nervous breakdown of some sort.

I have 3 children (13, 7 and 4) and currently am not working (I have never stuck at anything long enough to have a 'career', & find it incredibly hard to manage work plus trying to look after the kids and house which leads me to having an epic meltdown and handing in my notice).
DH & I had a small wedding 5 months ago & I found the build up/trying to organise it very stressful, as well as the actual day which I struggled to get through. I also really struggled with my negative emotions around disappointment about it all despite knowing I was being a complete dick and needed to snap put of it. I can't look at photos etc without feeling sad about it so I just dont think about it.

Shortly after the wedding, we were really struggling financially and I tried to set up a small business and became obsessed, trying to spend every waking moment at the computer focused on it despite having children and a house to look after. Ive spent the last few months living on processed junk food, I've piled the weight on, I've stopped exercising or getting much sleep. I have realised I couldnt continue like this and have massively scaled it back.

However I now find myself barely able to function day to day. I'm snapping at the kids, I can't think straight and feel suffocated by them (we live in a tiny 2 bed house which doesnt help - DH sleeps on the sofa and I'm in a bedroom with the younger two children).

My poor DH works his arse off and I can barely look after myself or the kids. Our sex life has disappeared into nothingness.

I cant seem to get better, or make room in my head to start looking after myself. I am flailing and completely exhausted and feel numb/angry/lost. I'm really, really struggling to stay on task with the most basic life admin or cleaning, laundry, making packed lunches, helping with homework etc. I feel like my brain is rapidly losing function.

I know what I should be doing (trying to cook healthy meals, get more sleep etc) but I feel like I do not have enough room in my head (constantly surrounded by children/people) to evince begin to do that. This sounds utterly pathetic I know.

I feel like the only way I can actually begin to function again is if I check myself into a mental asylum (insensitive joke sorry) so I can sleep for a week.

Poor DH booked a hotel for us both for my birthday and asked my mum if she would have the children for one night, but I asked him to cancel because I genuinely cant think of anything more stressful than trying to find decent clothes for my fat self to pack and have to go away somewhere.

All I want for my birthday is the space to have a mental breakdown in my own home for 2 days. Obviously that is unrealistic and unfair.

I'm genuinely starting to believe that they would all be so much better off without me. I am utterly worse than useless.

I dont know why I'm posting this on here really. I know I need to sort my shit out but I am frozen.

OP posts:
AffIt · 17/02/2023 12:39

Fellow ND person here (although ASD rather ADD/ADHD, so unmedicated) and I would suggest the first thing you do is get back to your GP or psychiatrist to review your meds: it's not uncommon to experience a 'honeymoon period' with meds (especially when diagnosed later in life), then feel that you're sliding again.

Secondly, I recommend joining the Neurodiverse Mumsnetters' board in the Special Needs topic section - you'll get a lot of good advice there.

bananaboats · 17/02/2023 14:09

Rather than going away for the night could your mum take the kids for night? Give you & DH the full weekend to really get on top of everything & it might be easier to manage?

New posts on this thread. Refresh page