Mobile phone for 9yo (Please read before judging)

[PhoneForSchool]

They’re going to be 9 soon and go into Year 5 at a Middle School in September, so expected to get to and from school themselves.

DC has SN, can’t read very well and struggles with writing/typing and processing. I will be walking with them for the first half term, but they’re pushing against this due to friends getting themselves to school (they’re struggling with their SN at the minute something both First and Middle Schools are trying to help with but DC is very resentful of it and the differences between them and their friends/peers)

So I want a phone for them. Nothing like the latest Iphone/Samsung but a basic smart phone, ideally that I can prevent numbers being added or prevent DC being called without my permission – they literally will need my number and the number for ExH (their dad) because he works half along the route to the middle school DC is likely to go to so could help if they got a bit stuck.

Also don’t want a contract.

So

• Basic Smart Phone with a sim
• Approval from me/ExH for numbers to be added
• Only those with the number can call/text it
• PAYG

Does such a thing exist? I am loathed to give a phone this young, I was hoping to put it off for another 1-2 years but due to the school system here I feel I have no choice.

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or handed in to front desk in the morning in a named envelope. there is actually no reason they couldn't do this with a watch though if they can do it with a phone. In my godson's class all watches are collected in a basket and put on the teachers desk until home time. Unless a child is taken ill, then she asks them to use the watch to call home

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz I know she did, and I would have said exactly the same for mine. But at some point you have to trust the child. She won't actually know if this is likely to happen until she lets him try.

@Bookegg I will be walking them to and from school for the first half term, but I am worried for their mental health the affect this is having on them anyway I don't want to make them feel even more isolated.

At some point I'm going to have to take the plunge and trust them, so I'm wanting to be able to protect them as best I can from a far - with them being able to call me or ExH to ask for help.

Agreed. My dd is in y6 she's been walking home daily from school since y5. She doesn't carry a phone.

You can get a refurbished basic Samsung for about 35 quid. GiffGaff does no contract rolling plans for about £6 a month which has 2GB data and unlimited calls and texts. You can use Google family.link to lock down the phone pretty tight, plus use it as a location tracking device.

Look at the Samsung A series phones, the same memory as the S series but a more basic phone.

My son has SEN. I gave him a phone earlier than I originally intended for exactly these reasons. Alternatively you can get smart watches you add a SIM to which can be used as a phone to call to a a from, but less chance of losing it! I saw some on amazon for maybe 29quid ?

It's also very very young for a phone and causes problems for the other children/parents.

I parent my child, I expect others to parent theirs. For similar reasons, our daughter had a phone aged 9. But as she has grown, we've had to say no to the requests for things her friends have/do and explained why that wasn't good for her. It never occurs to me to be mad at their parents for putting me in that position. I'm not about to second guess every other parent's views and opinions in every decision I make about my child. Differences are a part of life, (something my daughter has had to learn for many reasons) kids are never too young to be taught that.

@BoredZelda But DC has SN and is already resentful of that, saying they hate themselves and they wished they'd never been born. First school have put MH support in place which will continue into Middle School but I'm mindful of not giving DC another reason to "hate themselves", it may not seem logical or right and it may seem that I'm judging other parents, I'm not I get it and understand why they have phones and can walk home but my DC at almost 9 doesn't quite understand that yet, to them it's another reason they're different and another reason to not like themselves.

@Bookegg But i dont think you should let a 9yo child with special needs walk home from school without you
Do you really not see how subjecting a child (who already feels inferior to his friends/ classmates) to the ignominy of being the only child in the class who is so "babyish" they need to be picked up by mummy, could be distressing and detrimental to the self confidence of that child?

My DC has also been walking to school alone for a while now with no phone, but we live very close to the school. I imagine, as OP speaks of her ex's workplace being mid-route, that her DS has a slightly longer and more complicated walk than mine do.

OP don't forget that once he's comfortable with the route, you should talk him through what to do if his phone is flat or he forgets it and make him do it without a phone.

I'd get a smart phone where you can put "find my kids on it".

My eldest two both have a Samsung galaxy s20. Refurbished from eBay but looked brand new when first received (not so much now sigh). Perfectly functional and does everything my higher end one does but only paid around £70 rather than the few hundred. Think its the route I will go down when this phone I currently have dies.

@InsufficientMum You're right it's longer.

First School is 0.3m with no busy roads to cross and lots of known people along the route.

Middle School is 1.1m through a high street, across a busy B road which has lights but not always used, there's less known points, hence the need for a phone, if DC called and said "I don't know where I am" I know the town well enough to help them or I can say "Are you near the supermarket dad works in? Go there" even if they went to Customer Service and said "My dad works here i need help" they could contact him (although most of the staff know DC anyway so they probably wouldn't need to say my dad works here).

I'm not sure about the restricting numbers thing but there are some great entry level smart phones that won't break the bank.

I have a disability (visually impaired) - I wasn't able to do things like walk home alone or use public transport until much older than my peers. I absolutely resented it at times, so completely understand the position you're in OP.

You've said you'll review at half term, may I suggest at that point, considering the option of you walking the route, but not directly with DC, but a little way behind them? When I had orientation and mobility training, this is what my instructor did, before we progressed to me doing a route independently. It was a great confidence boost as I knew help was there if I needed it, but it felt like I was doing it by myself.

@LollipopViolet Thank you so much the idea of walking a little behind could well work!

My daughter has a GPS watch. It is not a smart watch and is set to classroom mode during the school day (days and times controlled by me on the app), so works just as a regular watch during school hours. Are these banned as well?

@LegoLady95 I've never heard of those

It has a SIM and can make and recieve calls to saved numbers only. It has lots of safety features such as the ability to drop in and take a remote photo from the app, or listen in. As well as the GPS tracking.

kidsnav.com/catalogue/?gclid=Cj0KCQiA6LyfBhC3ARIsAG4gkF-Ffel6JW13m9SljbP2ZvAcTL9698DqKqk9Erkk3R57xFqhsmfP0nAaAt_bEALw_wcB