Being ignored by nursery staff

[Survivormummy]

Hi, I wanted to ask for some advice please?
I am a single mother of a three year old and have recently noticed a particular staff member treating my son and I differently. The staff member ignores me and my son when he arrives at the nursery entrance gate but acknowledges other children and parents who have come before or even after us.
Last week I was in agony with a toothache where I needed an emergency dental appointment but i managed to drop my son off before the appointment. I must have mentioned I am in complete agony to her as she was looking at me and suddenly she just turned her head and completely blanked me! I was shocked and felt insulted by her. Never mind the fact that my three year old boy was watching this. The staff then went on to say hello to the parent and child begind us and made a fuss and also carried tge child into nursery! Whilst my son was just stood there.
Also, just today my son dressed up for the 'crazy hair day' and we decorated and coloured his hair for the occassion. My boy was excited about showing his crazy hair to everyone at nursery. Before we saw the staff member at the gate, a girl came in with her mum and the teacher praised her and acknowledged her hair etc but when my son who came a few seconds after the staff member completely ignored him. I felt soo upset and hurt by this and si did my son. Am I wrong to feel like this? I feel that certain children and parents are getting special treatment. Its not fair. What shall I do?
Any advice given will be much appreciated. Thanks in advance

I had this at my son's preschool with one of the teachers. I'm not sure there is much you can do about it to be honest, if you make it obvious that you know what she's doing, then she'll probably do it all the more.

Her problem, not yours. Some people are twats, no matter their profession unfortunately.

I am sorry to hear that. I am currently dealing with the same issue and wondering whether to raise with class manager or try to find if other parents at the nursery have the same experience.
I hope it stops as I am not happy with this behaviour. My one seems to always be in a bad mood not even good morning.

I'd change nursery. I wouldn't be happy leaving my child somewhere he's going to get ignored :(

I agree, change nursery if you can.

Have you spoken to the manager. Your poor son shouldnt be ignored like that. Thats awful. My girls still remember their key workers eho were always so bubbly and excited to see them.

I would straight up call a meeting with the person in charge and the staff member and officially get it documented. That will scare the crap put of her and make it official. I would open in the meeting with “I just wanted to call this meeting and have a witness to ascertain why you have an issue with me and are treating me and my son differently to other parents and children. So, the floor is yours. Why are you doing this”

put her totally on the spot.

she sounds awful!

What a cow! She sounds very immature and basic. I wonder if she’s jealous of you for some reason? Personally I would be tempted to wind her up by being super happy, relaxed and breezy and acting like I neither noticed nor cared what she did or didn’t do or say.
I appreciate you have a child though so probably wouldn’t want to wind her up in case she takes it out on him.

Arrange a meeting with the manager and staff member and call them out on
It.
You and your son don't deserve to be ignored. Sorry this has happened.
I would be furious.

I wanted to thank everyone for their kind and supportive advice which is hugely appreciated. Sorry, I forgot to mention earlier that my son attends a primary school which has a Nursery. I thought the transition from nursery to reception will be much easier and the school is close to home that's one of the reasons why I chose to send him there.

I also have the same experience like you. There is nothing you can do because thete is their problem not yours. You have done nothing wrong and it is so human to feel in this way. Ignore tthem and only focus on your child. Take them in accountability when there is issue about care obiviously.
I can share with you my experience when I picked up my boy in the nursery. I arrived there and saw two staff were talking to one mum about the child situation. I waited for them to finish quickly but turned out the second staff also need to talk after the first one finished. I just waited there without greeting or any acknowledgment. No one told me that they will bring my child soon. Finally, I couldn't wait longer and asked them, are you going to bring my son to me? The one was talking told me with very cold tone, I will do it in a minute because I am talking to the parents now. I responed with turned my head off to pick my big son from school next door and drop one sentence, I will go to pick my elder son first then anx this is happening everytime.
I went back to pick my second one after I goty first one. See, there is nothing we can do for people lack of care and empathy. Be strong and firm!

Just a thought or different perspective. Is it possible that they don't think your son needs any support going into nursery so they leave you and him to it. Perhaps other children need a big fuss or to be carried in but your son manages just fine to go in without any of that?

I used to work in a nursery and have a 3.5 yo son in nursery currently. Not all parents or children are the same so you have to treat them differently. Some children need physically removed from their parents arms and then distracted to get them into nursery, others just run in and don't look back! Same with parents, some want really detailed handovers and others just don't want to know. Maybe they've misinterpreted what you need from them.

For context, I literally just open the room door and let my son run in on a morning. I don't linger or expect any conversation unless i need to tell them something that day, I just make sure someone noticed he's arrived and then leave.