Please, help me find some relief

[LenaMelena]

Hi there! First, I wanted to apologise because English is not my first language so I’m sure I’m going to make lot of mistakes.

My cat of 12 years died yesterday, and I am absolutely broken. I feel like someone has cut a part of me that was linked to her so it physically hurts. I miss her so much already and I feel guilty because she suffered for a week because the vets thought they could save her but her suffering at the end was for nothing.
One of the things I struggle the most is because I am an atheist. I was raised Christian but at some point I stopped believing and now that I need that comfort of knowing there is an afterlife, I can’t have it.

What I want to borrow from you is some of your spiritual/religious/mystical theories of what happens after death. I remember reading on here some posters saying that they have seen the ghost of their pets and that weirdly gives me some relief.
If you don’t believe in anything like that I would be grateful also for you to tell me what things made you feel better after the death of your dear pet.
Thank you all very much.

I'm sorry for your loss 😢 I believe animals have souls and that they continue on in some form after they've died. I did once see the ghost of a dog that had been put to sleep.

I love cats too and have had to cope with kitty death on a few occasions now. It is heartbreaking. I've always had more than one cat so have just concentrated on the ones who are left, but the pain of the grief is real and hard to bear.

Why don't you have a visit to your local animal shelter and visit the cats who are in desperate need of homes. It's being reported that people have had to give pets up because of the cost of living. There will be a lovely cat out there for you who will really appreciate a good home and who will love you, just as your kitty loved you. Do you feel that's something you could do when you feel ready?

I’m sorry for your loss. When my dog died, I used to still hear him jump off the bed, a very distinct sound. The Blue Cross has a pet bereavement service where you can talk to someone. www.bluecross.org.uk/pet-bereavement-and-pet-loss

I understand how devastating it is.

Thank you so much to both of you! I posted and inmediately felt so silly, but you made me feel a lot better.

@stbrandonsboat I was promising myself I wasnt going to have a pet again because it hurts so much when you lose them, but after reading your words, I think to give a home to a cat that desperately need it its going to be really healing for me. Thank you!

I am so sorry. It is always very hard to lose them, and when they have had complicated medical problems I think it is normal to wonder if we should have made different choices, and to feel guilty if we think we should have decided differently.

With one of mine I was haunted for months by the thought I had agreed to have her PTS too quickly. But with hindsight it was that her sudden deterioration had been so rapid I couldn’t quite accept it.

Please don’t punish yourself. You took the expert advice you were given and did the best for her you could. I am sure she knew how much you loved her.

I think, when you are ready, giving a home to a cat in need of one will help you both. And I would ask for this thread to be moved to The Litter Tray where there are many posters who have lost much-loved cats.

Fellow atheist here , today is going to be painful, but that’s because of the love you had for the little fluff . However as my husband likes to remind me , I cried bucketloads when we lost our last cat and firmly declared we were never having another as it’s all too painful . However , in the two following weeks he found me looking for cats that needed a new home , and about four months after losing our cat we had a new addition.

All of our pets are still remembered with love , but we once again have a completely different character to pour our love into , and whilst not a replacement, he fills a gap with his own mad ways .

Unfortunately the price we pay for loving these furry beings is that we will one day have to say goodbye to them , but a life well loved and full of adventure makes it all worthwhile in context . We also have a little photo up of all our previous pets so we see them everyday, it reminds me how lucky we were to share our time with them .