help - vegan coming for dinner.

[HufflepuffRavenclaw]

Having friends over for dinner next week. Woman of the couple is quite faddy in her eating. Over the time we have know them she has been gluten-free for about 6 months, abandoned that and then gave up alcohol completely for about a year, stopped doing that and then cut out sugar, was also a pescetarian for a while. Latest is that she is vegan.

I am not a vegan and have zero interest in vegan food/cooking. I am looking for ideas which are easily adapted to vegan diets - so for example I could do tomato/mozzarella/basil and crusty bread for a starter and use vegan "cheese" for her.

Think I may buy a dessert for her as any decent pud has to have cream and butter in it.

Any ideas?

rice pudding made with nut milk and oranges and spices, www.goodhousekeeping.com/uk/food/recipes/a32208164/spiced-rice-pudding/ its really nice made with nut milk and then just happens to be vegan anyway

To be honest, with your stubbornness you're no better than she is. Maybe she does change diets but that's her choice. Maybe she'd like to sit and have a chilli or curry 'everyday' dinner. You could be less obtuse and just try something different yourself. Unless King Charles is popping in too?

I can see why you don’t want to go shop bought main item replacement if you always pride yourself on your cooking, but I would in this case. Unless you are going to go vegan for everyone (which you clearly have no interest in doing) then this is just the only way to stop you resenting the extra 1-2hours of your time creating something separate for her when you know she won’t stick at it and next dinner invite will have a different challenge.

IME, people who change their restrictive diets so regularly don’t really like food, but do like creating drama around food. Just stop. Buy in the bit that replaces the main meat element. (You can always lie you made it)

I’m with the OP.

she asked for recipes that can be adapted for vegans/meat eaters, and got like 100 replies saying “make a big bowl of vegan curry/chilli basically any old glop” 🤔

starter: bruschetta
main: grilled meat + lovely ottolenghi-ish sides for everyone including the person currently identifying as vegan (I have one of those too🙄)
pudding: apple tart or something fruit based and the vegan after 3 glasses of wine can have/not have ice cream on top. Her choice.

(my frequent vegan guest often ‘forgets’ about dairy by dessert time. And doesn’t seem to consider the isinglass that’s used to clarify wines and other alcohols as non-vegan. Funny that. But I love her 😁)

I don't get how curry and chill isn't good enough but haggis, neeps and tatties is. Must be a hell of fancy whisky sauce.

Yeah I'm not sure haggis is going to hit the spot. I was thinking more of the "ease" of it to be honest and being able to feed basically the same meal to everyone.

We might all have to agree to disagree about what a "treat" is.
Bruschetta is not a "treat" to me, it is lunch.

Whiskey cream sauce is easy enough to make vegan, use a box of oatly cream stuff or make a white sauce with almond milk and add a very generous amount of whiskey. Add enough whiskey and nobody will know or care it is vegan.

This would infuriate me. Get her a ready meal and serve steak to everyone else.

That has been suggested.

I know that previous to her veganism, this person had a super sweet tooth and loved desserts and puddings. I would not put it past her to cave and just have a slice of cheesecake slathered with cream. Her veganism is because she thinks it's a healthy lifestlye choice rather than because of any concerns for the planet or animal welfare.

Bruschetta - fancy word for toast. Meh

Just have nibbles for starter; then do two chillis one meat and one vegan with beans. Then put out cheese, guacamole, nachos. Surely it’s about seeing friends, not the food. You sound quite narrow minded, most of my friends are veggie or vegan

The vegans i've known have mostly eaten ready meals everyday.

For one homecooked "dinner", we were served tinned mixed beans including the juice as a "stew."

Don't be too hard on yourself.

We're occasional meat eaters but will cook vegan meals often. Eg a vegetable curry or a nut roast. As someone else said maybe cut out the vegan cheese as there are plenty of recipes without it and it is pretty horrid.

As someone who doesn't eat meat and eats mostly plant based, I can honestly say that would not bother me in the slightest. I would not want my host to go out of their way to cook for me if they're not accustomed to cooking that way. It's about the company, not the food.

I do however know a lot of vegans who would be outraged at it 😂

I don't believe people who say you can barely tell the difference between non-vegan and vegan puddings like brownies, ice cream, cakes, cream etc. In my opinion the non-vegan versions are nicer, way nicer. It's definitely a compromise making a vegan version. I'd do it for someone if needed, but I'd give others the option for normal puddings, if I were making something that depended on milk/butter/eggs. If it was something that could easily be made vegan, like a crumble, maybe with margarine, that would be OK, with a choice of ice creams. Or something like coconut milk ice cream maybe ,intended to be like that from the start.

I'd find vegan main courses very hard, as I'm not at all keen on tofu, beans/lentils, or meat substitutes. Yes there are some other options, but none of them sound all that appealing! So I'd probably end up catering separately for her too.

Starters might be easier, things like mushrooms or nuts or whatever are easier to think of starters for.

but I have sympathy for the OP. I find it hard enough to cook for vegetarians, just because I don't like so many of those options myself, that it's hard to think of nice, special versions of dinner that are a treat for me too, rather than something I have to eat.

That sounds good to me OP. I'd be very happy with that!

If you want something everyone can eat then just do a load of vegetable sides - Ottolenghi has loads, and serve salmon/chicken with them for the non vegans. No schlepping around for vegan ingredients as it's just veg or grains + spices.

Dessert - I probably would make a vegan dessert for everyone. BBC Good Food's first suggestion is a chocolate tart. Given you can get coconut milk in Lidl I don't think that is a push for ingredients either.

I make vegan food a few times a week - never intentionally, just made something no meat and then realised it was no eggs/dairy too. There are a lot of accidentally vegan meals out there.

I think the problem is that you're labelling it vegan. I have a vegetarian Thai recipe book. The majority of the recipes happen to be vegan but they're not labelled vegan so most people don't notice. Unless you are a meat and two veg kind of eater I'm not sure why it's such a difficult task.

Starter- rice paper rolls with dipping sauce or sweetcorn fritters with sweet chilli sauce

Mains: red curry, green curry, jungle curry, massaman curry or whatever your favourite is with rice. If you were feeling like a martyr you could make a veg stir fry for the side and one of the many many punchy Thai salads.

Dessert- shop bought for the vegan because yeah, who wants dessert without cream or butter or eggs 🤣

If you are really struggling you could just separate out some of the curry for the vegan and then add cooked chicken or something to the rest for meat eaters.

People are a lot more accomodating than me! If I was a vegan, going to someone else's house for dinner who's not a vegan, I wouldn't expect haute cuisine.

I'd get an M&S plant based easy cook meal personally! Maybe give her the choice of which.

So why invite her? If its such a problem just do as PP suggested and all eat in a restaurant.

There are many great dishes which happen to be incidentally vegan. If you are a good cook you surely know this? Nor is it necessary to schlepp around getting weird vegan ingredients - its just food combined in different ways.

You might get a better response if you just asked about vegan food options instead of making your contempt for a diet without meat and fish so apparent.

Dessert could be sorbet, or vegan ice cream (Swedish Glace - I buy it regularly as a non-vegan). Maybe vegan cake (olive oil cakes).

A lot of meals could easily be made vegan, or are vegan already. For example, soups for starters, with bread (Butter for non-vegan, olive oil/ balsamico for vegan).

Main - what about a pie, for vegan an individual pie and for everyone else something else like salmon en croute, beef wellington or some other meaty pie. With sides (that should easily be made vegan with vegan butter)

I'd just buy something ready-made for her.
Whether you'd disguise it & hide the packaging is up to you !

Hope it goes well. I'd be a bit concerned as I once did a meal like this, made a few curries and sides, was wonderful (if I do say so myself!) and everyone seemed to enjoy it.

But newly-vegan friend (funnily enough we've lost touch) was appalled that the rest of us (5) were ok eating meat in front of her. She was expecting me (without telling me) that not only did she no longer eat any animal products but no one eating with her should either. She was even unhappy that her vegan food had been in the same fridge as our meat and cooked using pans I'd previously used to cook meat. She'd thrown out all her pots apparently and I was supposed to have known this and bought new ones!

I know this isn't 99.9% of vegans, but sometimes the new converts can be very evangelical about it!

A year later I heard she was pescatarian.

I'd get her something microwaved or easy in the oven from m and s.

There vegan stuff is lovely.

Or just ask her what she'd like.

Asda finest do a nice vegan wellington.

You could do her that with roast potatoes and veg. Easy peasy.