Divorced for 3 years, dc are 10 and 13. 10 year old is autistic. She in particular is getting worse at going to her dad's house. We do 50/50 half a week, so it works out at every other weekend. She is particularly bad when it is the 5 nights at his.
Today she was in tears. She has always been very attached to me, she doesn't like me leaving her with anyone, including grandparents (who she adores). I don't really know what to do. I acknowledge her feelings, but still take her. We've talked about why- I think he isn't as accommodating of her needs, I have tried talking to him about it, he and 13 yr old argue a lot which she hates. But otherwise it is just that she wants to stay with me.
Now, selfishly (and I know I will get roasted for this, but its relevant) I would struggle to have her all the time, in part because the intensity of her needs, but also because my job requires me to work evenings and weekends sometimes, and travel around UK a few times a month. I do this now in the time they are with their dad. I wouldn't be able to do my job, leading to obviously not being able to maintain my mortgage (and no, I can't just not to the travel, I have already asked, they are essential part of my job.) Family all live away so no childcare, and she would not be left with a babysitter.
I don't know what to do, I feel awful forcing her, but also can't live with her permanently attached to me.