How to make friend comfortable

[Perfectpeonies]

I’ve recently got back in touch with an old friend. We’ve met up a few times but we now live in different cities so meet halfway. She has a big birthday coming up and our favourite comedian is doing a show local to me. I’d like to take her for a birthday treat. However, she has told me she has been diagnosed with ulcerative colitis (sp?) and finds staying away from home tricky, she’s going to think about it. What can I do to make her more comfortable? Can anyone help me understand and give me some ideas to help?

Hi @Perfectpeonies that's so nice of you to ask how to make your friend comfortable x
With her condition she may only eat certain things. She might want to bring her own food. She may also need privacy, own en suite / toilet.
Hope the above helps x

In my experience from knowing my friend who has the same a bathroom completely to themselves is probably about the only thing to make them feel at ease. So if staying away I imagine a hotel room each would be best.

She would be staying at mine. Unfortunately I only have one bathroom

Hmm unfortunately I would imagine even if she came to stay the trip would be overshadowed by her discomfort of needing to use the only bathroom

Is there anything I could do do mitigate that?

Have her book an en-suite room in a hotel near you?

Not if it’s something she feels I comfortable with. I guess I can’t think of anything that would make me feel comfortable and relaxed with having to frequently open my bowels whilst a guest in a house with only one toilet.

Sorry it’s nice that you care and want to try though I’m just saying you may need to accept her not being comfortable rather than trying to push her to come

Yes it’s all about toilet use and the unpredictability of the condition. It’s very nice of you to try to think what you can do for her though.
Things that stress me out are travelling, eating and drinking, scenarios where it may be difficult to get to a loo quickly (crowds or restrictions).

I think hotel nearby. She’s never going to feel comfortable sharing a bathroom in your home I don’t think.
I have IBS which isn’t as bad UC and I wouldn’t be comfortable if I was having a flare up and had to stink out a friends house repeatedly

I would tell her that you'd like to do this as a treat and see how she feels about it. Depending if she's having a flare up or is concerned about having a flare up, she will be able to tell you what she needs to do and whether this is something she would manage. Either way I'm sure she would appreciate the thought.
I don't have ulcerative colitis, although I know people who do, but I do have coeliac disease and sometimes knowing that I have to sit through a performance after having a meal out can be quite anxiety provoking due to the fear of being glutened and requiring a private bathroom quickly. I suspect that only having 1 bathroom may well be a huge issue for her unfortunately.

Let's assume she's coming.

Make sure there's a room spray for the bathroom. In her bedroom a waste bin lined with a plastic bag so it can be tied up by her.

I do this anyway.

Lovely of you to ask OP.

In my experience, even if you had the ability to offer them an en suit, there will still be anxieties about the night out and toilet facilities there/ awkwardness of nipping out to the loo in the middle of a stand up comedy act.

My other half has Crohn's and just the thought of being somewhere new can trigger a flare up.

If they can't make it, don't take it personally.

Gosh what an awful illness, I hadn’t appreciated just how debilitating it could be