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Original poster

I need a believable excuse to get out of a dinner I don't want to go to.

48 replies

LoveMAFS · 15/02/2023 15:51

I could be honest & just say I don't feel up to it but I feel like that brings more attention to me about why I don't feel up to it. It was supposed to be a very small gathering but now the host has invited their adult dc along too. In different times I'd feel very happy but currently I have stuff going on and don't want to face a host of nosey questions from dc who aren't my intimate friends. (as has happened previously). We only live a few doors apart.

OP posts:
iphonecharger · 15/02/2023 16:35

Good friend, tell the truth, I'm sorry but I'm not really up to a bigger meet up at the moment because I'm going through a tricky time.
Friend but not that close, just a generic I'll have to give it a miss because I'm not feeling 100% tonight, without mentioning in what way.

LunchBoxPolice · 15/02/2023 16:39

I’m a liar so I’d go with violent diarrhoea

Ladyofthesea · 15/02/2023 16:42

Covid symptoms is the modern excuse.

TheFretfulPorpentine · 15/02/2023 17:00

Can't you just respond to any intrusive questions with 'I'd rather not discuss that right now'?

ladymacbeth · 15/02/2023 17:02

Is it just you invited? Will dropping out have an impact or are you one of a few so it wont ruin the plans?

I don't think anyone believes sudden headaches etc on the day, so if you value the friendship don't go with that.

35965a · 15/02/2023 17:03

I have explosive diarrhoea, sorry.
Or, as others have said just apologise but be honest.

RampantIvy · 15/02/2023 17:08

TribeD · 15/02/2023 15:56

Be honest...

Thanks for the invite, but this time I won't ae avle to join you. I've a lot going on and I'm not feeling up to much socialising.

You don't owe them an explanation, just a polite thanks but no thanks.

This ^^ really is the best response, and contact the host now. Please don't leave it until the last minute.

FoxtrotOscarFoxtrotOscar · 15/02/2023 17:16

How to deal with probing questions: "the less said about that the better!"
You can laugh in a wide-eyed deranged manner while saying it, which should stop any follow-up questions (or future invitations).

GlassBunion · 15/02/2023 17:19

Why are you expecting questions from their DC?

RampantIvy · 15/02/2023 17:19

If they ask just say "I don't want to ttalk about it"

Sadlifter · 15/02/2023 17:22

Why are their dcs going to ask so many questions? Just change the subject or ask about them. I can't imagine they are genuinely that interested in their parents neighbours problems?

Fenella123 · 15/02/2023 17:22

Or you can say you can't talk about it, and hint darkly that you're protecting some mysterious acquaintance.

RampantIvy · 15/02/2023 17:27

I can't imagine they are genuinely that interested in their parents neighbours problems?

I agree. DD's friends aren't interested in me and I don't expect other twenty somethings to be that interested either.

Dotcheck · 15/02/2023 17:28

TribeD · 15/02/2023 15:56

Be honest...

Thanks for the invite, but this time I won't ae avle to join you. I've a lot going on and I'm not feeling up to much socialising.

You don't owe them an explanation, just a polite thanks but no thanks.

Exactly that

LookItsMeAgain · 15/02/2023 17:34

A 48 hour tummy bug that has had you on the toilet all day. Sorry, wouldn't want to take the chance that you might pass it along to someone else by mistake. See you again soon.

Then you can still be out and about at the weekend. No issues.

LookItsMeAgain · 15/02/2023 17:35

Or
Don't go and then apologise and say you thought it was next Wednesday or whatever, that you got your calendar mixed up

Mitfordian · 15/02/2023 17:39

I think this depends on how much effort the host is putting in...? 3 homemade courses, including fillet mignon for everyone and its tonight? I'd be really pissed off if you just bailed at the last minute. Plating up a large lasagne and some Gu puddings - less so. You may have to suck it up.

RampantIvy · 15/02/2023 17:39

LookItsMeAgain · 15/02/2023 17:35

Or
Don't go and then apologise and say you thought it was next Wednesday or whatever, that you got your calendar mixed up

Dease don't do this ^^.
It is unbelievably rude and inconsiderate. If I had cooked for someone who just hadn't bothered to turn up without letting me know I would not be impressed.

And don't lie. I would far rather someone had said they weren't up to it. If they lied and I could tell they were lying I would just think "do you think I'm stupid?" and think less of that person.

I just don't treat friends like that.

RampantIvy · 15/02/2023 17:40

That first word should say "Please"

Poppy44 · 15/02/2023 18:02

Just say upset tummy - because that can be something that lasts a few hours to a few days.

And people will well understand why you won't want to be in someone else's house.

GoldenCupidon · 15/02/2023 18:36

Just say "Hi Neighbour, really sorry about this but I won't be able to make dinner tomorrow. Having a horrible week and not really feeling up to socialising. Thanks so much for the invitation though, how about a coffee just the two of us soon?"

LookItsMeAgain · 16/02/2023 09:28

RampantIvy · 15/02/2023 17:39

Dease don't do this ^^.
It is unbelievably rude and inconsiderate. If I had cooked for someone who just hadn't bothered to turn up without letting me know I would not be impressed.

And don't lie. I would far rather someone had said they weren't up to it. If they lied and I could tell they were lying I would just think "do you think I'm stupid?" and think less of that person.

I just don't treat friends like that.

Show quote history

I should have said <tongue in cheek> before my post there @RampantIvy .

I'd be majorly ticked off if someone did that to me (as in just didn't show and then tried to fob me off with a weak excuse that they got their days mixed up). Actually somebody did do it to me and I was very upset when they did as I had a heap of food going to waste that I had bought so it was an unnecessary expense.

I hope you managed to find a solution that worked for you @LoveMAFS .

ChangesUsername · 16/02/2023 09:32

@GoldenCupidon response is perfect

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