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Original poster

Could my same sex friend be attracted to me?

14 replies

Lucia23 · 14/02/2023 20:25

I worked with a woman a couple of years ago. When I left she wrote I was a 'beautiful soul' in my leaving card and I didn't think much of it until a friend asked who is this?! when visiting. We then lost touch.

I bumped into her out of the blue & she asked me to come to a fun night aimed at the queer community. At the time I thought, wait...does she think I'm a lesbian? I also noticed her holding onto my arm a lot but that was it.

Then when I actually met her she rested her head on my shoulder throughout the night & at one point rested her hand on my thigh. Not just a quick touch, I'd say about 10 seconds worth so that our mutual friend clocked it.

I should say I've always had relationships with men although I had an 8 month dalliance with a woman aged 16. She has also just broke up with a long term boyfriend of 6 years so I'm not sure about this. I want to see her more & vice versa. Am I imagining things or could she have more than friendship feelings?

OP posts:
Popplcroft · 14/02/2023 20:26

No-one here could possibly know. Just keep seeing her and see where it goes. Good luck

VladmirsPoutine · 14/02/2023 20:30

Would you be open to taking things further?

PollyAmour · 14/02/2023 20:30

She might fancy you, you might just like you and want to be friends. Why don't you have a conversation about it? All this non-verbal communication could mean anything and nothing. She could just be a tactile person.

Original poster
Lucia23 · 14/02/2023 20:32

I feel conflicted about it @Popplcroft - all my years being with 2 serious make partners I thought if I was ever single again I'd like to be with a woman again at some point. On the other hand, I like a new guy at the moment & am at an important child bearing age (30).

When the night ended she said she wanted to do more things together. I do too, but I'd turns out just to be friendly I wouldn't want her to feel lead on. That said - I definitely feel something, just not sure what is yet.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lucia23 · 14/02/2023 20:34

VladmirsPoutine · 14/02/2023 20:30

Would you be open to taking things further?

Maybe? She wanted me to stay out late & I had this feeling that something might happen between us if I did.

She's a beautiful woman & very charismatic. But ive never really imagined myself in a relationship with a woman, so I'm not sure.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lucia23 · 14/02/2023 20:37

The other weird thing is that her friend who I also know assumed I was a lesbian and thinking back to the conversation where she said she thought the queer night would be 'up my street' has got me wondering how people see me!

I've dated men exclusively since I was a teenager so it's a bit odd that people would think that. I'm very private about how I date and never discussed it when I worked with them.

OP posts:
VladmirsPoutine · 14/02/2023 20:38

I ask because it wasn't clear if you felt she was making you feel awkward or if you were indeed enjoying it albeit find it a bit out of your comfort zone but still wanted to 'see' what happens. In that case then see how it goes. That said though, does she act like this with others, some people are generally quite tactile, or do you think she's also testing the waters with you?
I'd say don't think too much about it and enjoy it!

maddy68 · 14/02/2023 20:42

Maybe. Are you open to this?

Mumskisail · 14/02/2023 20:46

Yes she probably fancies you. I'm definitely straight but you wouldn't believe the number of other (supposedly straight) women who've made a pass at me over the years... My husband didn't believe me when we met, til he saw it for himself 😆. One recently said she'd like to get drunk with me, then that she'd need to stay over as it would be easier, while my husband is away, and then when I said I'd need to clear the spare room she said she'd be happy to share my bed. All supposedly innocent but honestly after the others I'm not so sure... she always comments very big compliments on my social media pics too. Very nice friend but it won't be happening 😅

Original poster
Lucia23 · 14/02/2023 21:01

@maddy68 possibly. The thing is I'm at the age where I remain open to having children & settling down in a traditional way so even if I'm open, is it a good idea. Maybe I'm over thinking?

When she leaned on my shoulder I definitely felt the urge to put my arms round her which took me by surprise rather than uncomfortable (answering @VladmirsPoutine question).

I think I'll invite her out again & go from there. And also watch out of whether she is tactile with others - I haven't noticed & tbh she was never like this with me before. Either way if she's just out of something long term I doubt she'd be looking for anything serious.

OP posts:
Melbourne12 · 14/02/2023 21:24

Are you in touch with her since your night out? Texting etc?

Original poster
Lucia23 · 14/02/2023 21:27

No I haven't yet @Melbourne12 but I'm going to contact her in the next few days inviting her to an event.

OP posts:
PinkFrogss · 14/02/2023 21:36

I think you could be on to something OP.

But I also think perhaps you want something more, and so you’re more tuned in to any signals than you would be otherwise.

If you do want something more, then go for it. You can still have children, if that’s something important to you that is stopping you.

Original poster
Lucia23 · 14/02/2023 21:41

Well @PinkFrogss I wasn't thinking of her in that way until I felt she was possibly coming onto me. So I don't think it is like I'm seeing things I want to because I hadn't considered it before.

I suppose I won't know unless I see her some more and see how things unfold.

OP posts:
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