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Original poster

Eating noises

26 replies

UnicorseTime · 14/02/2023 19:20

I'm really sound sensitive which I'm aware of. I hate people eating apples and crisps which I'm aware is me being supersensitive...

But my husband's eating is driving me nuts. We've been married ages so don't know if he's got worse or I've got more sensitive. I don't want to be a horrible nag...

But...

"Clinking" of fork against teeth. Just why?! Surely people don't normally do this?

And ... he takes a sort of slightly audible "huff" breath in as he puts food in. Why?! Do other people do this!? Why!?!?

He doesn't talk with his mouth full of food or chew with his mouth open or anything but but but... surely this isn't normal?! Or is it me!?

OP posts:
Sierra26 · 14/02/2023 19:33

I came on here to search for posts like this! Except I’m on the other side. My DH has this where he can’t stand the sound of eating/drinking.

It causes arguments as I’m actually a quiet and polite eater, but he insults me / asks me to leave the room / complains if I eat near him, and it happens every night as he eats much quicker than me and I’m left either feeling uncomfortable while he points it out, or I have to leave to finish my meal in exile.

IMO he’s being very unreasonable, and I retaliate as such, but on the other hand I KNOW this is more of a weird clinical issue which he can’t help having. He even gets pissed off when the dog has a long drink 🤣🤣

Areyouanutmeg · 14/02/2023 19:38

OMG I could have written this! Particularly the fork on teeth bit, and the noise his mouth makes, even though it is perfectly closed most of the time. It drives me crazy

no advice as I don’t know how to deal with it and sometimes get very cross with him, especially if I’m tired. Sometimes I just have to leave the room

Shangrilalala · 14/02/2023 19:39

Misophonia. A family member has it and mealtimes have been a trial in the past. We combat it with low level music and strategic placement around the table. She knows it’s her issue not us and as she’s matured seems more respectful of the situations as they arise.

Sirzy · 14/02/2023 19:40

I need background noise even when I am the only one eating in a room because I struggle so much with any noise of eating.

GhastedFlabber · 14/02/2023 19:42

Yes! My partner is a noisy eater - puts way too much food on his fork and puts the next load in before he's finished chewing. Then mouth opens to accommodate the volume and I. Just. Seethe. Trouble is he just won't accept it's an issue and his whole family are the same and will literally strike up conversation immediately after shoving a whole load of food in. I'm finding it more and more unbearable.

snoodle1 · 14/02/2023 19:44

www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2023/jan/26/misophonia-how-sound-rage-destroys-relationships-and-forces-people-to-move-home

It’s quite common. I suffer from it too. I have to have the TV on in the background to cope with my husband’s eating!

Justmuddlingalong · 14/02/2023 19:48

I took a video of DP eating and played it back to him.
He is a noisy eater and I was perimenopausal and premenstrual.
He accepted he's noisy and said he'd try to knock it on the head.

His quieter eating lasted about 3 minutes.

Original poster
UnicorseTime · 14/02/2023 19:49

Yup I know I have misophonia and my family know they need to eat apples/crisps elsewhere ....

But the breathing in on each breath. Does anyone know what I mean? And is it unreasonable I ask him to stop ?

And clinking forks on teeth. These aren't just my misophonia but universally actually wrong aren't they?!

OP posts:
Original poster
UnicorseTime · 14/02/2023 19:50

@GhastedFlabber that sounds awful. How can people think that's okay?! I've noticed friends of my kids that do this often come from families that do...

OP posts:
midgemadgemodge · 14/02/2023 19:50

Breathing in his food yes

He's mostly quiet but when he starts that it's maddening

Original poster
UnicorseTime · 14/02/2023 19:52

At what point when learning to eat does a grown person think "I'll breath in every time I take a bite". Sounds awful.

OP posts:
GhastedFlabber · 14/02/2023 19:55

The breathing in would drive me mad too.

I'm.not sure I have misophonia, just very low tolerance. When I'm feeling good I notice it less.

Desperately training my own kids to eat politely and not like one half of the extended family!

Tallisker · 14/02/2023 19:56

Oh god mine takes about ten scrapes of the fork on the plate to pick anything up to eat. Then makes horrible mouth noises and forgets to close his mouth completely when eating. Then gets the next forkful ready while still chewing but opens his mouth in anticipation of the next forkful so the masticating becomes really loud.

I just can't bear it. I've tried the Pretty Woman quote "Close your mouth, dear", I've asked him to be quieter, I've asked him to finish the mouthful before he preps the next one, but he does it for about three mouthfuls then forgets again. He's a slow eater, doesn't take large mouthfuls at all but god he's noisy 😳

cptartapp · 14/02/2023 19:57

DH clatters the fork against his teeth. It drives me nuts. And insists on cutting up hot food into equal portions at the beginning of the meal to cool. And the trying to get a little bit of everything in one bite.
Aaargh.

Justmuddlingalong · 14/02/2023 20:00

DP slurps food off his fork.
I ask "would you like a straw with that?"

Rugbycomet · 14/02/2023 20:07

Clinking" of fork against teeth. Just why?! Surely people don't normally do this?

And ... he takes a sort of slightly audible "huff" breath in as he puts food in. Why?! Do other people do this!? Why!?!?

My DH does this…slurrrrrrping of tea too….aaargh….hate it.

soboredtonight · 14/02/2023 21:10

I have misophonia and I can't bear my dh to eat near me. I hate it.

shadypines · 14/02/2023 21:28

I'm so glad to find out this thread and know I don't suffer alone. Married 25 yes and this has really started to jangle every nerve fibre the last year or so. My DH is NOISY, chomping chewing, eating with mouth open, weird smacking noises. I really can't stand it and try not to be in same room. Funnily enough full meals aren't so bad it's sandwiches, toast or biscuits that make me want to 'rearrange the patio'.😩

Cherryana · 14/02/2023 22:04

So, I am on holiday with very noisy eaters. It gives me the rage in milliseconds.

I have been using those flare ear things. They were £20 from Amazon and they have helped a bit. I have had two dinners which were good and one where they didn’t help so maybe it was my placement?

I think I probably upset my family but I am so tense at mealtimes.

kittenkipping · 14/02/2023 23:04

I suffer misophonia but am firmly of the belief that my issues are just that. MINE. I don't ask dh, or anyone else to alter their perfectly normal behaviour to accommodate my issues. HOWEVER, rude or ill mannered eating is another matter- that I will bring them up on.

Saz12 · 14/02/2023 23:20

God it’s hard to cope at mealtimes! I can’t eat with some of DC friends (or stay in the room). I cannot abide the minging habits of some family members (sister, mil). Truely vile habits. Schhhlurping drinks, weird thigh rubbing between mouthfuls (every. mouthful. In goes the food, cutlery laid down, thighs get a good rub, whilst tipping head back to speak with mouth full (why?). MIL just noisy and speaks with a mouth crammed full.
DH is really hard to tolerate depending on what he’s eating. Some foods I no longer cook because I cannot stand the noise of people eating them.
Yes, it is my problem but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t drive me crazy!

Friths · 14/02/2023 23:23

I feel your pain. My husband cuts his food like he's trying to cut through a brick, scapes and scrapes his plate, his jaw clicks loudly with every chew, he has a permanently blocked nose so breathes loudly though his mouth between mouthfuls and sort of drops his cutlery loudly on his plate constantly. It's unbearable at times so I eat alone in another room.

Isitthathardtobekind · 14/02/2023 23:26

I have the same! I agree that surely the fork/teeth scraping is just bad manners isn’t it and not normal? It enrages me. I do generally hate his eating though even without the fork issues.

TheTeenageYears · 15/02/2023 01:16

Had an issue with one of the DC over normal eating noises by others so we always put music or the radio on at meal times. It started out as 1 person with an issue and has unfortunately become an issue for 4 people as a result. DC once wound themselves up eating breakfast on their own and asking me how it could be so loud - I told them it was virtually impossible for anyone to eat without any noise at all and no it wasn't annoying me.

Original poster
UnicorseTime · 15/02/2023 03:15

I guess my question is still are these things currently bothering me under the category of "normal eating noises" to most people or really not and my issue?

"Fork scraping"

"Inhaling in on each bite."

OP posts:
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