DH off with kids today for half term - this is not a normal day for me

[Newyearnewme1]

I work 2 days a week, so this week being half term DH has booked 1 day off and I've booked the other day off.

I have nearly 4 year old twins. DT1 has tonsillitis + conjunctivitis but is starting to feel much better. My DM has taken DT2 & our dog to our local park for a few hours. Very grateful.

DH has just messaged to say that he & DT1 have had such a lovely day. They've played various board games for nearly 6 hours, only breaking off for lunch.

Now I'm thrilled that DT1 is feeling so much better but I am kind of narked as I know that for the rest of the week I'll have both kids with me and I won't have the time to sit and play bloody board games for 6 hours straight.

DH is planning on putting a pizza in for tea as DT1 doesn't have much of an appetite at the moment and doesn't want to over face her.

Why is this bothering me so much? I do sit & play with them but never ever have I managed 6 hours straight, there is just too much to do. Maybe I feel a bit envious I don't know.

Does anyone else's partner or DH have these kind of disney inspired wonderful days with the kids? Maybe I need to check my priorities 😂

Lacking some context here, but it does sound like a bit of "you problem."

Take a day with your kids, do something fun. It could well end up being one of those "golden days" that they'll remember fondly for the rest of their lives.

All the rest of the stuff can wait.

I’m struggling to understand why DH isn’t looking after both twins?

Why can’t you play board games all day with your kids if that’s what they want?

Is your DH the kind of person who is always positive about things? Ie he could just be painting everything in a positive light and not mentioning the squabbles and upset when the child didn’t win etc? I can def be the latter but my sister who had three under 5 at one point is the former - just relentlessly positive about everything and glosses over the annoyances.

I can see why it could hurt a bit of you usually have two together and it’s much harder work. Is there a time once a month you could do one on one time with one twin while the other parent takes the second twin out tk replicate this lovely morning of board games?

Because my mum takes pity on him and takes one of the twins to "help him out"

Sounds like you need to have a fun day this week and drop the jobs for a day.

Ask your mum if she can take one of the twins on one of your days. It doesn’t sound like your husband has done anything wrong.

Is this because you always end up doing housework while you're looking after the kids, whereas he hasn't thought to?

If so, just don't do it. I try to fit in housework on my Fridays with my child, but sometimes we're busy and it doesn't get done. I told my partner when I went back after mat leave that Friday wasn't going to be housework day (and thank goodness, because it was impossible with a toddler!)

I do know what you mean. My DH went part time for a while when our DD was very little. They had brilliant days out which was lovely. I was then part time and did all the household stuff as well as wrangling two children by that point. It wouldn't have occurred to him to try to do a weekly shop with a young toddler, he would do it on the way home from work or something though.

I think you probably need to readjust your expectations and decide to have some nice days when you are taking leave. It's not unreasonable to use your leave for leisure. If there is grandparent cover available then it would be lovely to have some 1:1 time.

What is it you have to do?

I think you should take this opportunity to realise that it’s nice to spend a day during the hols playing with your DC and do it! Not be envious of DH.

OP yanbu. I'd be very jealous of your dh right now. Only 1 Child to have 1 on 1 time with, no thought to the pile of washing/pots/appointment that needs making no prepping or cooking dinner. I completely understand.

It's your choice to have a fun parent-child bonding day, you just have to choose it

I get why you feel that way but it's good to recognise that it's something you'd like to do more of. Maybe he has done mo housework but Rome didn't burn, and it won't if you make a point of doing that more often too.

I have similar whereby my DH works shifts over 7 days and I work office hours, so he quite often gets time where one or both children are at school and nursery, whereas I almost always have them both together and they're at an awkward age where my eldest can do/enjoys things my youngest can't/ won't.

I agree with this!