How to handle constructive criticism of my parenting from DH

[VadaTheVandriver]

Can anyone advise tried and trusted methods of handling criticism of my parenting from DH?

Every now and again our 5 year old has a tantrum/meltdown and from my DHs POV he does not get the same behaviours from him because he feels he uses different strategies to manage him.

I feel like we have this same conversation every now and again about how he feels I don't always manage the kids well enough. He doesn't want to step in as he feels it undermines my authority. So then I feel extra tense if the kids kick off as I'm worried about what he is thinking of me and how I'm handling this.

I also feel like I don't want to ask DH for help managing the kids if they are misbehaving because then he'll just feel like I can't manage them.

I don't feel like I'm a terrible parent by any measure.. there's definitely some things I do better than others and my DH certainly isn't perfect as well.
How can I get a handle on this situation?

He sounds like an insidious head fuck actually. Even if your parenting is lacking, which you’ve given no indication of BTW, brow beating you to the point where you are worried about his reaction isn’t a constructive way of tackling it.

you’ve jumped to automatically framing this issue as his criticism being constructive and your reaction being a problem, but from what you’ve written, I feel like you might be being manipulated.

He's already undermined you; making you doubt your own strategies & skills. Is he always so critical of you? Maybe tell him to keep those opinions to himself, get off his backside and back you up.