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Original poster

Upset with "friend"

34 replies

Starlet1 · 14/02/2023 09:37

Until this weekend I had a baby budgie who I have hand reared. I love her but she has become a bit destructive ( as they do ) especially when hormonal. I was getting a stressed as I have Parkinsons and friend offered to have her for a few days to give me a break. Meanwhile she has a friend who has 5 other budgies and she wanted my Lucky. Desperately.
I was talked into believing that Lucky would be better off with other birds so she can have company, female budgies do better with a male.i do know that
Anyway on Saturday I took her to my friends and that evening I rang to see how she was and to say I missed her and was coming to get her. I was told I was too late, she has already gone to this woman! That was arranged too quickly I feel.
Then I saw a post on FB from this woman with a photo of my bird saying she had been rescued from an uncaring home.
I have cried for three days. Why on earth did I let my so called friend manipulate me like this ?
By the way I messaged this woman saying that actually she was from a loving home and is sorely missed,which she is. I got no reply
This all happened too quickly, maybe my little bird will be happier but it should have been my decision
I am really sad and upset as you will understand.

OP posts:

Cigarettesaftersex1 · 14/02/2023 09:38

So go and get her back, it wasn't your friends to give away!

WouldJudasLeaveIt · 14/02/2023 09:39

Aah can you not get her back? How awful for you 😢

BreviloquentBastard · 14/02/2023 09:46

How awful, some friend! Is there any way you can message the woman who has her and explain the situation and ask for your bird back? Or even post publicly so she might be shamed into returning the bird. A beloved pet is a beloved pet, maybe a bit of social pressure with make her give Lucky back?

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HiccupHorrendousHaddock · 14/02/2023 09:47

I understand how upset you are and agree this should have been handled better.

However, if you think about it from Lucky’s best interest, she will be far, far happier and healthier with other birds. Because you love her, acting in her best interest is very hard but ultimately the kindest thing to do.

Budgies are flock birds. They are miserable when kept alone. The reason people can teach them to “talk” is because when they’re lacking a flock they try to join the only one available - the humans. To us it looks cute and affectionate, to the bird it’s driven by isolation.

Your friend and her “budgie rescuer” have handled this very insensitively. I’m sorry they upset you. I’m not surprised you’re so hurt.

noblesix · 14/02/2023 11:17

I'm so sorry to hear this. To have someone post negative comments about Lucky coming from an "uncaring home" like that on social media is appalling.

We foster small animals for a local rescue and honestly, although I think their hearts are mostly in the right place, some of the other people involved can be extremely judgemental and self-righteous to the point of it being quite toxic and competitive.

I don't tolerate any negative chat about previous owners as it's not my place to judge. Anyone who voluntarily surrenders an animal deserves compassion and respect for trying to do what's best for their pet, not a verbal kicking on social media by someone trying to make themselves look heroic for "rescuing" an animal.

Irrespective of whether this is what's best for Lucky, your "friend" and her self-righteous pal have behaved very badly here.

Cherrysoup · 14/02/2023 12:15

Budgies should not be alone. She was probably destructive because she was bored. However, I’d be really cross in your position, but saying that, you gave her away then changed your mind. It’s very sad, but once you give something away, you can’t really ask for it back. 😢

Original poster

Starlet1 · 14/02/2023 12:48

Sadly I messaged her twice with no response.
I want the little darling to be happy, it was awful the way it was all manipulated though . I don't know what to do yet
Thank you

OP posts:

unstoppable1 · 14/02/2023 12:51

Cigarettesaftersex1 · 14/02/2023 09:38

So go and get her back, it wasn't your friends to give away!

Too fucking right! I'd be straight round there!

Original poster

Starlet1 · 14/02/2023 12:52

I didn't give her away, I was ill and friend offered to have her for a few days. I wasn't expecting her to be handed over to someone else within minutes of me dropping her off. I didn't agree to any of it
I understand what you say though,

OP posts:

maddy68 · 14/02/2023 13:02

Go and speak to the new owner

Original poster

Starlet1 · 14/02/2023 13:04

Thank you. I loved my little bird and hand reared her and she was in no way from "a bad home needing to be rescued",
I was ill with a stoma h upset and "friend "offered to have her for a few days , I never agreed to her being re homed.
It was planned I feel because when I telephoned to go and collect her she had already been given to this lady which I never agreed to. I tracked lucķys photo on FB
If lucky is happy among other little birds then it will be good for her, but the underhand way she was taken by theses toxic women appalled me. Its telling me that they do not respect me and think too highly of themselves.
I am going to have to be the grown up and let Lucky stay where she is. I may get a little boy but at the moment I am too upset
Do gooders can do more harm than good in my opinion

Thank you for your wise words. Despite my hurt the little bird must come first I feel

OP posts:

dontgobaconmyheart · 14/02/2023 13:06

I'd contact the person currently keeping the bird and point out to them that they were given away without permission, and you are the owner and in the process of going to the police, and would tell your friend the same, if I wanted the bird back.

Regardless of the welfare issue the bird is not your friends property to give away however she feels about it.

Have a think about how you really feel OP, if this new person seems like they can offer a caring and enriching home and you can't or aren't able to then it may end up being a positive outcome for the bird. I would not speak to the friend again regardless other than to let them know it's been reported to the police (albeit I imagine absolutely nothing will come of that)

Original poster

Starlet1 · 14/02/2023 13:25

I agree with all that you say. Yes she was a little monkey but at less than a year old I would expect nothing else. She made me laugh and she gave me pleasure for which I thank her.
I feel I must keep her best interests in my heart and if she has five other little birds it must be be better for her
It's an awful situation and these women have stolen from me. They definitely did not have permission to remove her from me especially knowing how loved she is

She must come first I feel, I will keep an eye on things for now

OP posts:

takethedevilledeggs · 14/02/2023 13:36

I think I would get her back and rehome her myself. Once I had her back I would respond to the social media comment and make clear she was stolen from you.

Nocutenamesleft · 14/02/2023 13:37

Take her to small claims and get her back

Original poster

Starlet1 · 14/02/2023 14:18

Nb
Unfortunately Lucky did originally belong to my friend but she already has a budgie and she couldn't handle a baby as well so I said I would gladly have her. I've had her for most of her life but friend has always considered her to still be hers and is never short on offering advice.
Even taking this into account what she did was very wrong , She even calls herself Luckys mother, I'm just the auntie
Pathetic I know and she is wrong but this is the background.

Just wait until she goes on holiday and expects me to have her bird - NO!
if I ever get another , she will not be involved in any way.

OP posts:

BMW6 · 14/02/2023 15:33

Get two new budgies (cruel to have just one)

Get rid of the "friend" - she is a cunt.

maddy68 · 14/02/2023 15:57

Hang on so it is really hers and you said you would have it. Then returned it because you couldn't cope?

I'm sorry but I've switched sides
She's trying to do what's best for the bird

Fraaahnces · 14/02/2023 16:04

I suspect the FB post was also some grandiose virtue-signaling on behalf of the person who adopted Lucky. Who knows what they were told by your friend anyway? Who just gives away their friend’s pet like that? What a heartless monster!

xogossipgirlxo · 14/02/2023 16:07

maddy68 · 14/02/2023 15:57

Hang on so it is really hers and you said you would have it. Then returned it because you couldn't cope?

I'm sorry but I've switched sides
She's trying to do what's best for the bird

Yes, this changes my view on the situation. I'm sorry for you OP, but maybe it is for the best. Although she should have told you about it, it was cruel thing to do.

NotTooParticular · 14/02/2023 16:30

That was some drip feed 🙈

7eleven · 14/02/2023 16:57

Lucky will have a lovely life with her new friends. That’s the important bit xxx

Original poster

Starlet1 · 14/02/2023 17:15

Not like that at all. I am sorry but you misunderstand.

She was my bird for 9 months , friend had her for just 2 days.
The only reason I asked if she would look after her last weekend was because I have parkinsons and was poorly.
There was NO mention of her keeping my bird, the understanding was that as soon as I came out of hospital I would collect her.
Friend knew I loved her and wouldn't part with her,

OP posts:

MeMyCatsAndMyBooks · 14/02/2023 17:20

I'd report her to the police for theft of an animal, you made it clear it was just for a few days while you recovered not to rehome the animal.

That said, I hope you're okay.

OhClunge · 14/02/2023 17:33

Christ that's awful, are you able to reply to her FB post that Lucky is very much loved , your friend was not in a position to give your pet away and you want her back
Go public with it
Someone here fa's been fibbed to

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