Mention I like him to mutual friend?

[Celia24]

I've been in a hobby group for about 6 months. I've had a thing for one guy since the first time I saw him but we're always with our own friends and he always seems shy/wouldn't make eye contact though I'd see him looking. Lately he has found the confidence to smile & say hello when he sees me & last week as I said goodbye we held eye contact for a long time and smiled like idiots. I know it's just limerence at the moment but it's been so long since I've felt it!

The thing is that after the hobby each week we have a drink or 2 with friends then go separate ways. I still barely know him.

We have a close mutual friend, a guy I trust. Should I mention I find him attractive? I know he's single & my friend chats about him sometimes as they meet up quite a bit. I don't know if I should do this to help move things along or say nothing and try to speak to him more myself over time (the slower option!)

It’s a bit ‘my friend fancies you’ tbh. If he’s that shy would he actually do anything with this info?
I think you would be better to speak to him yourself, just approach him and ask if he’d like to meet for coffee/drinks/dinner or whatever.

Yeah, I see what you mean. It just seems like a good opportunity to be semi set up because we have a mutual friend. I came off dating apps a few months ago and now I actually have met someone I like.

The thing is he isn't shy with his own friends, I'm not shy with mine but going over there still feels a bit scary. The fact he's actually started saying hello and holding eye contact lately is promising I think?! It's hard to get any privacy with the group. I'm a decent flirt when I get the chance but not in front of friends 😬

If it was me I wouldn't ask him out. Shy or not if he wanted to date you he'll come to you. Let him come to you. It sounds like he will, he's just plucking up the courage. Keep smiling and go and talk to him but I wouldn't make the first move in terms of a date. That's just me though .

I see loads of comments that a man will always ask you out on mumsnet if interested & tbh that hasn't been my experience.

Even the confident men in my life I had to give them a fairly neon green light before they get it. The other thing is we're part of the same hobby group so a date rejection would be a bit awkward. Would get over it, but still!

That said I'm not ready to ask him out. So I'll talk to him and let him come to me more as you say, and then when the time is right either way (me or him asking) hopefully it will happen !