When do you know a job isn't for you?

[silverhaircharlie]

In your opinion do you think you just know fairly quickly? Do you get good vibes? Can you hate it then learn to love it? Or do you think you have to somewhat like it even a tiny bit?

It always takes 6 months to settle in I find. A bad onboarding experience can really taint it though.

I think that you know in the first few weeks.

In my last job I hated it so much, I used to come home and say to myself "well that's another £100 in the bank" - it was the only way to get through it.

Although, I forced myself to like it for too long and i ended up burnout and anxious. :(

I knew on my first day. It got worse and worse and I found out there were horrendous HR issues affecting the department I worked in that had been hidden from me. The standard of the work I took over also led me to believe there were issues of professional negligence. I lasted 3 months and had to breach my contract to leave but I just couldn’t stay for the sake of my health and professional reputation.

Every job I have had after my second one, I have had active buyers remorse. The first 6 months I am in total disbelief 'what have I done?'. Then I force myself to make it to one year because my CV will be destroyed if I quit now. After a year, stockholm syndrome sets in and I start to feel settled and a sense of belonging and competence. I might still dislike it but it is the devil I know and I can see the good points.

I remember a job when I was in a cafe after work with my ex-colleague in tears at feeling so disorientated and lost in my new job. 7 months later, it is the best job ever. I left as the contract ended but I still think it is so good and am thinking of going back to retire in that job.

So yeah, hate it until I learn to love it.

Haha @blueshoes I'm exactly the same, six months of angst over making a terrible decision, then suddenly it's absolutely fine.

It's the period of not knowing what you are doing and what people think of you that I hate.

When I started my job I used to sit in the car park and cry before I went in each morning. I spent hours searching what other careers I could do. 6 months in, it suddenly got easier. Been there 16 years now and love it.

Also when my new colleague sneezed into his hand, licked it and then put his hand on my mouse.

I knew it was time to go. 😭

Give it time

A new job is (partly) what you make of it. It will take you time to learn how to do things. No one wakes up knowing how to do a new job. It takes time and will be always be hard before it gets easier.

I have done at least one shadowing shift before accepting my last couple of jobs (nursing), which gives me a sort of feel for the "vibe". It's always different when you actually start working somewhere though.

It always takes me at least 6 months to start to feel comfortable in a new area.