Can't put my finger on what is up with me!

[gobbleguts]

Hi - I need some wisdom and also to see if anyone feels the same.

The last couple of months I have just felt what I can only describe as rather flat. I don't think I'm depressed and I don't feel sad just low I suppose. Feel a complete pack of motivation, not looking forward to anything. I'm annoying myself as I have no reason to feel like this.

My finances are finally looking up, I don't have money worries, I'm newly married and love my husband. Kids are healthy and a job I enjoy. I have great friends and family.
We have a holiday booked just the two of us soon and I am looking forward to that, I feel tired and lacking motivation. I could just lay around lazily at home all day. Work is tiring and I just can't be bothered doing anything.

I vaguely remember feeling a bit like this the same time last year and I am starting to wonder if it's some sort of vitamin deficiency- maybe vitamin D?

I'm trying to exercise and eat healthy but it's not lifting this doom feeling.

Any ideas what I can do? I am usually the time to be grateful for the small things and optimistic etc but I just don't feel myself.

Still got that strange feeling I can't shift. It's like feeling really bored but the idea of doing something makes me think I can't be bothered

Might be worth looking at your thought processes/feelings around this - try journalling and being completely honest with yourself? Could it be some kind of mid-life realisations - limited time left and grief about that? (Very normal but not very acknowledged out loud generally). Or is it that you need a new challenge? Or new experiences? A change of scene? Why do you feel like you can’t be bothered? Is it a ‘been there/done that’ kind of thing? Is it that you’re realising you want to do meaningful things but feel paralysed about what’s meaningful enough? Is it that you literally don’t have the physical energy and you maybe need to rebalance things in life? Less time on things that suck the life out of you and more time on things you love? Maybe the more you indulge your joy the more you’ll connect to it again?

It could be any number of things worth digging into depending on where your thoughts/feelings take you. You could take some time to yourself with pen and paper, no distractions, and see what comes up?

Thanks @Starseeed I think that's a great idea to journal and try and dig deeper to work what the problem is. I am feeling somewhat better now the days are brighter and there is more sunlight but it hasn't gone completely. I still feel a yearning to be out and about doing things but still got that lazy feeling that I CBA

I am going to wait until summer and if it has gone I'll put it down to SAD. If not I will visit the Gp and get some bloods done and go from there.

I am planning a winter sun holiday for February next year so that if it is related to SAD that might help for next year.

Oh and the pp that mentioned possible depression - I am on Anti depressants for anxiety which I have been taking for some years so I'm not sure it could be that.

So I went to see the GP and had bloods done, vitamin D was fine as was everything else. She thinks it is indeed perimenopause after asking me about symptoms and it seems I have quite a few of them! So she has started me on HRT. I'm hoping I see an improvement and quite surprised that it is peri. Thank you to those that suggested it.