Is this a council estate thing, and if so why?

[Fluorescentwater]

Growing up my parents owned our homes, and until recently I’ve been privately renting. I’ve visited plenty of friends and boyfriends on council estates growing up though, and it seems to be a bit of a pattern that the residents there have much laxer boundaries. People are often walking in and out of each others houses uninvited, having regular garden parties that the whole street’s invited to, lending each other money every week, cooking each other meals, looking after each others kids and generally just really involved in each others lives.

I’ve always wondered if this is specific to council estates as I’ve never noticed it in privately rented/owned areas, and if so does anyone know why it tends to happen that way?

Definitely not a council estate bashing thread. I’m just curious because I’ve been looking at home swapping recently and practically every home description includes ‘neighbours are all lovely and very chatty, it’s like one big family round here’. Most places I’ve lived everyone just keeps themselves to themselves, a smile and a nod and bringing neighbours bins back in if they’ve forgotten but nothing much more than that.

I was brought up in the north east in the 1980s, on a comfortable private working class/lower middle class street. All red-brick semi-detached. There was definitely a sense of community. We knew all the neighbours and would be in-and-out of each other’s gardens. We had street parties, and us kids would put on ‘shows’ in the street for the adults in summer. There were street games - polo, bulldog, kerbsie - every night. Den building. Bonfire night activities that would give any Health and Safety executive sleepless nights! I loved it. And I feel sorry for my own children and their middle-class lifestyle in many ways. I see it very much as a working class we’re-all-in-it-together way of life that everyone could learn something from.

It must be area dependent. Of all the council estates I’ve lived on or visited it has never been like that.

What you describe sounds like how I grew up albeit not on a council estate and not borrowing money.

My DB lives in a quite expensive new estate where the children run in and out of each others houses but parents less so (they are all working)

I think this isn’t just about council houses, it’s about children being the same age, having a sense of community, being primarily decent, warm people.

I live in quite an expensive area and whereas there isn’t that close estate bond, there is a huge sense of community around sports, charity and church.

I do think that my kids missed out on that fantastic fun that I had as a child but I guess the 70s/80s were kind of halcyon days for kids. I always remember that ‘back in time’ BBC show where the kids said the 70s were their favourite time - freedom, softer attitudes towards children, treats and playing on the street

This was exactly how I experienced childhood. One of the interesting things was that most of the parents were from inner city council housing, had done well and adopted the closeness of how they grew up.

Others were from rural areas and, although many grew up in great poverty, they held themselves apart from the group, feeling themselves above it. I always felt sorry for their children.

I think the thing was people working locally. Then you stayed in the same place for years. Many (?all) local businesses and factories have gone.

We own a new build and there’s a percentage of council on the estate - it does seem like the top bit where the council houses are are very tight knit I often see them popping into eachothers houses as I drive by.

My neighbour who also owns just pops in now and then, no knocking.

I spent my childhood on a West Midlands street of early Edwardian houses, some privately rented, most owned. Lots of children and there was always someone to help in any emergency, eg if a parent was in hospital/unwell.

I found it touching that a few doors down was a very old lady who'd moved in to her house when it was newly built, as a bride. At the end of her life she was cared for by her younger neighbour, who had been born in the next door house and known Mrs M all her life.

There's a lot to be said for strong communities.

Fairly typical where I am, although one family argument was described in the local paper as a riot.

I moved into what are still called, "the new bungalows", that was 20 years ago and they are still called that. And I am still a new comer!

Lots of people have lived here all their lives, my next door neighbour was brought up on the road my back garden backs on to.

On a near by estate the paper reported that a lease that had been passed on to children of the original renter had gone on for almost 100 years.

So you might have three generations living within a couple of streets of each other.

There is one high school on the estate and another (RC) high school one road away from the estate so almost all children go to one of those two schools.

At Halloween one row of local shops open up 'late' so children can go trick or treating in the shops.

The local butcher runs a Christmas club, the local community centre is thriving, they run a community shop, are a warm space and there are often children's activities.

The main purpose behind the creation of council housing estates originally was to rebuild housing stock post-war and create safe, affordable communities for people to live and raise families.
All the kids would go to the local schools, and the tenancy meant they could be treated as forever homes.
The Right to Buy introduced by Margaret Thatcher was the first step in destroying such housing, in my opinion, and has led us towards the atrocious housing situation we have now.

NC for this as family would know it's me. I have some lovely memories. We lived on a council estate until I was 5, in and out of next doors house, as though they were grandparents and their older DCs would look after us. My mum walked past the filming of Rita, Sue and Bob too, pushing me in the pram. She said there was fights sometimes between some of the women on our street but they were besties the next day.
We moved and it was a small road of terraces (working class) but everyone knew eachother and the kids all played together. We were always in another neighbours garden or their DCs were in ours.
Even at our next house the neighbours would have a street party or get to together and a good natter. The old couple were lovely and took everyone's bins out and back again. On my grandma's road neighbours were auntie and uncle. They would always be coming round for chats and when we were ill they'd being us little presents. My grandma used to help them a lot.
We recently went on holiday to a place that was a little bit like a council estate (to try it out since it seemed cheap) and it was nice to see people going in and out of each other's chalets. A fight broke out and they had a massive slanging match for half hour then made up. They were offering each other cigarettes so I assumed all was well.
Current neighbours don't even smile at each other (new build housing). So it's quite a contrast.

It’s not a class thing, it’s about how established the community is. We’ve just moved into a small cul-de-sac- 12 privately owned houses. Ours is the only one that has changed hands in nearly ten years. And they’re all quite close- they have an active WhatsApp group, and apparently do drinks in the street in summer.

@Jammyfudge

Our estate was very diverse and everyone sort of mixed. My mum/Nan lived on the estate. My Nan was an Irish immigrant (as were many, many on that estate). They bonded with a lot of the black families as it was the era of “no Irish, no Blacks, no dogs”. There have been bonds between certain families that have lasted for generations. Even today. It’s quite fascinating actually. I am aware not all council estates were like the one I grew up on though.

I mean you could phrase it as lax boundaries or you could call it more community.

This!

Not on my estate ,I know my neighbours to say h I to and have a quick.chat but I'm definitely not in and out of their houses or they mine
by contrast the estate I grew up on.privately owned ,this happened a lot

Pontins?

Me too! I love my high hedge and gates and short polite chats with neighbours every so often.
It would drive me mad to have kids running in and out of my house all day. I struggle with planned playdates lol.
Funnily enough I do have a caravan in practically a quiet field for breaks away 🤣
That's just me though, I can see why people go for this way of living though...the sense of community and always having people around to chat to.