Living with depressed partner

[Bluevelvetcake4]

I feel like it’s really pulling me down and making me feel miserable. I’m trying to be supportive but Husband was away for a week and I remembered what it’s like to feel happy again. Anyone tell me about their experience and how they dealt with it?

I don't know but here to say you're not alone. When he's out I feel such a sense of relief and peace and then guilt for feeling that way

I don't have experience of this, but I do have experience of managing people at work with spouses and partners with depression. The impact it has is huge and long term. As I am not family or friend, I think I sometimes get a more honest picture of what is going on.

It makes me want to say run and don't get saddled with this, especially when they are youngsters just starting out. I can't of course.

I have every respect for those with depression who actively get help, stay on their medication and get help for associated issues such as addiction, but many don't appear to do that or if they do relapse frequently. The misery that causes their spouse and children is enormous.

None of the people I manage have a spouse who is out of the other side of this and is okay and not making their life a misery. In my small sample size I have two people who have had this for three years plus and another where it has gone on for 16 years.

You need to take care of you too and as you are not married you really don't have to do "in sickness" no matter what. Are they getting help and is it working?

For me it’s not so much a sense of peace but more a sense of not feeling depressed and low. Being around someone who is unhappy can really drag your own mood down.

Leaving sounds like a huge step! I’m hoping it’s temporary but dealing with it whilst it’s going on is tough and if both of us are down it’s not good for our kids either.

He did have therapy when he was feeling mildly upset about some things but this actually made what was manageable then a whole lot worse so not sure it’s a good idea to try that again. I suppose Medication may be the next thing to try.

He really should be going to see his GP. They seem to get people some combination of talking therapy, medication and getting outdoors, exercising, eating healthily and generally living well. If addiction is involved, it seems more complicated.

As an absolute minimum he needs to see his GP and act on their recommendations. Don't put up with inaction as it doesn't seem to improve without a lot of hard work.