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Original poster

why dont we all give more?

144 replies

Nimbostratus100 · 12/02/2023 11:49

We are all aware that there is so much need in the world, and here in the UK we all have so much, yes, really, all of us, unless you are on the street or literally unable to eat today ( unlikely in UK) then we all do. I am in massive debt, very unwell and possibly losing my job. Yet I know I am so well off compared to many

There are children dying for lack of clean water this morning, while I enjoy unnecessary peanut butter and nice coffee.

I donate to charity - when I feel I can, not so much right now, and volunteer a lot, many thousands of hours over the years, again, not so much right now as I am stuck in bed, but I feel like a good person. I pray for those less fortunate, and raise awareness, etc

But I am aware I am living a privileged life while others die for lack of basic needs, water, antibiotics, food, shelter, and yet I am not particularly disturbed - why am I not disturbed? Is it out of sight out of mind, or some sort of genetic self favouring instinct - "I'm all right jack!" Or is it social acceptance, I need three coats, the cagule doesnt go with my work clothes, etc?

I could have put the money for this peanut butter and coffee into the DEC collection, but I didn't

Its not just me, its all of us, any one of you reading this has at very minimum access to a phone you are putting ahead of the needs of a child that will go blind today due to lack of antibiotics

Whats wrong with us? I know one person could make very little difference, but surely the only reason the world is so unfair is because we all, as individuals are behaving so selfishly.

Anyone else confused by this? Feeling like a good person, but knowing objectively I am living selfishly?

OP posts:
UserNameSameGame · 12/02/2023 11:55

Many complex things come together.

In part it is that humans are both evolved and conditioned to care more about what happens geographically close to them, and to people who are “more like them”. If it was Sally next door then you’d be more likely to contribute. It’s more immediate.

In part it is that many of the issues you raise owe more to geopolitics than to economics. i.e. just donating more money doesn’t necessarily directly address the problem.

Many other facts as well, of course, but those are the main ones that spring up mind.

Sirzy · 12/02/2023 11:59

Well firstly I think your massively naieve if you don’t think there are people in the U.K. who won’t be able to eat today.

most people do give what they can give to Causes close to home but at a time when many people are feeling the pinch giving - time or money - will be limited for many people.

i don’t think trying to guilt people will do anything

TheGriffle · 12/02/2023 12:00

I’m sorry, it’s not up to people like me, who has debt, living in 2 overdrafts and extremely worried that when our mortgage renews in 6 months time that we won’t be able to afford the at least £200 increase we are expecting on top of everything else to fix all the worlds fucking problems. Yes we may be more privileged than a lot but that doesn’t mean we aren’t struggling too.

Its not the fault of your average Joe why the world is as fucked as it is. Maybe Elon Musk can put his hand in his pocket a bit more.

Euchariahere · 12/02/2023 12:01

You obviously do not understand that the vast majority do not care unless something directly affects them. People are inherently selfish. End of story.

Scienceadvisory · 12/02/2023 12:04

It shouldn't rest on people like us to contribute. It should be the billionaries having dick measuring contests in space, it should be Kylie jenner who takes a private jet for a 3 minute flight, it should be Boris Johnson who has made over £5m since leaving office.

These people could donate half their wealth and not even notice it gone. That would do far more help that your £2 not spent on peanut butter.

GoldilockMom · 12/02/2023 12:05

That and a lot of these charities have huge overheads and pay massive salaries to the big bosses. Very little gets sent to those in need. Some organizations have a 5% donation - it’s appalling and I won’t give unless it’s local and valuable.

Perfect28 · 12/02/2023 12:06

Op if you're in debt then that should be your priority. I am too, and that's why I don't donate. Once I'm in a more fortunate position I will.

beguilingeyes · 12/02/2023 12:07

TheGriffle · 12/02/2023 12:00

I’m sorry, it’s not up to people like me, who has debt, living in 2 overdrafts and extremely worried that when our mortgage renews in 6 months time that we won’t be able to afford the at least £200 increase we are expecting on top of everything else to fix all the worlds fucking problems. Yes we may be more privileged than a lot but that doesn’t mean we aren’t struggling too.

Its not the fault of your average Joe why the world is as fucked as it is. Maybe Elon Musk can put his hand in his pocket a bit more.

Nobody needs to be a billionaire, IMO. It boils my piss that the likes of Musk and Jeff Bezos fanny about building space rockets and buying Twitter while their workers live in their cars and piss in bottles. Surely something has to give?
I appreciate that someone has to own companies and be in charge but surely the ever increasing gap between top and bottom can't go on?

Original poster
Nimbostratus100 · 12/02/2023 12:08

Sirzy · 12/02/2023 11:59

Well firstly I think your massively naieve if you don’t think there are people in the U.K. who won’t be able to eat today.

most people do give what they can give to Causes close to home but at a time when many people are feeling the pinch giving - time or money - will be limited for many people.

i don’t think trying to guilt people will do anything

I am not massively nieve, I have been destitute and homeless, and am still heavily involved in caring for homeless people, and I know full well, that while housing is a serious lack in UK, food isn't. There is noone in the UK who wont be able to eat today, one way or another - unless either they choose not to use the routes available to them, or else someone is deliberately preventing them, which in neither case is because of lack of food

OP posts:
Bookegg · 12/02/2023 12:08

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the user's request

hidingbehindascreen · 12/02/2023 12:09

OP I can't work out if you post is naive, or set to bring debate.
A lot of the country are 1 pay check away from being homeless, parents are missing meals so their children can eat. The top 1% could help, but a lot of people are simply unable to

Original poster
Nimbostratus100 · 12/02/2023 12:10

Euchariahere · 12/02/2023 12:01

You obviously do not understand that the vast majority do not care unless something directly affects them. People are inherently selfish. End of story.

I understand a lot of people dont care and are selfish, see earlier posts on this thread! But a lot of people are decent, kind generous people, and I like to think that I am, its the "giving so much but no more" border inside me that I just dont understand, because it seems so illogical not to give more, yet I dont

OP posts:
Logburnerperils · 12/02/2023 12:12

I have an anxiety around money and i admit that makes me selfish. We are comfortable but all my money goes on my children and always will. They are my only priority.

Euchariahere · 12/02/2023 12:12

I don't think it is illogical at all. There has to be a boundary no? I mean if you give give give there will be nothing left for you. I don't understand how you dont understand?!

Original poster
Nimbostratus100 · 12/02/2023 12:13

hidingbehindascreen · 12/02/2023 12:09

OP I can't work out if you post is naive, or set to bring debate.
A lot of the country are 1 pay check away from being homeless, parents are missing meals so their children can eat. The top 1% could help, but a lot of people are simply unable to

yes, I suppose fear of the instability of your own life comes into play. But like I said, I am unwell and in debt, yet still feel justified paying for my luxury peanut butter and coffee this morning, rather than donate that money to DEC, do you see what I mean? That amount of money makes my day brighter, but doesnt contribute to the stability of my home or anything, yet I still dont donate it. I guess it is innate selfishness, and maybe that is genetic in all of us

OP posts:
katepilar · 12/02/2023 12:14

I sometimes think about this too.
I think lots of people think about others less than I do and have lower level of empathy. Also people are busy and it costs time and effort to do something for others. Some people also dont realise that they are fairly well off. /Had a friend calling herself poor when she used all her money for exotic holidays./

Shunkleisshiny · 12/02/2023 12:15

GoldilockMom · 12/02/2023 12:05

That and a lot of these charities have huge overheads and pay massive salaries to the big bosses. Very little gets sent to those in need. Some organizations have a 5% donation - it’s appalling and I won’t give unless it’s local and valuable.

This, totally. After seeing the list of how much the top people earn, I only donate to our small local charities.

Bookegg · 12/02/2023 12:17

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the user's request

Euchariahere · 12/02/2023 12:17

Nimbostratus100 · 12/02/2023 12:13

yes, I suppose fear of the instability of your own life comes into play. But like I said, I am unwell and in debt, yet still feel justified paying for my luxury peanut butter and coffee this morning, rather than donate that money to DEC, do you see what I mean? That amount of money makes my day brighter, but doesnt contribute to the stability of my home or anything, yet I still dont donate it. I guess it is innate selfishness, and maybe that is genetic in all of us

Show quote history

All human life is inherently selfish. We are biologically programmed this way in order to survive. We are also co operative as a species and will help others but when you reduce this, it comes down to selfishness also. As this co operetiveness and giving to others can also aid our survival. Someone probably can explain it better but ultimately all living things are this way and it comes down to survival.

Beezknees · 12/02/2023 12:19

I don't believe in being a martyr and I would find expect someone to martyr themselves for me either. I do not work full time to just merely exist and pay bills, with no pleasure in life.

BirdyBoop · 12/02/2023 12:20

I do not have the mental capacity to carry the woes of the world on my shoulders.

I'm mostly trying to drag myself and my family through life, working, housework, responsibilities, checking in on friends and family with problems, getting food on the table and a roof over our heads, trying to protect my own physical and mental health also.

I'm exhausted by life as it is. I have no more capacity for other issues. I don't have the headspace.

I donate monthly by DD to several charities, but that's all I'm capable of doing right now. I do not feel guilty about it.

JustAGirlInACountrySong · 12/02/2023 12:21

Totally over the top there op!

Did you buy that peanut butter and coffee this morning or weeks ago?

JustAGirlInACountrySong · 12/02/2023 12:22

This morning I have my breakfast and lunch guilt free

Bit of virtue signaling there won't save anyone will it?

Gazelda · 12/02/2023 12:23

I was told as a struggling new mum that I didn't need to try to be a great mum. Being a good mum is good enough.

Similarly, being a good global citizen is good enough. I give time and money. I campaign and support others. But I also live a comfortable life with treats, holidays, good food, wine etc.

I like to feel that I've got the right balance, and that others don't judge me for not doing more.

DrSalome · 12/02/2023 12:23

GoldilockMom · 12/02/2023 12:05

That and a lot of these charities have huge overheads and pay massive salaries to the big bosses. Very little gets sent to those in need. Some organizations have a 5% donation - it’s appalling and I won’t give unless it’s local and valuable.

I find that very hard to believe.

I donate a fair chunk of my earnings to different charities as I'm lucky enough to afford it, but it's still a drop in the ocean. There are major systemic inequalities in the world and a small number of people and large corporations are getting very rich indeed.

Spending our money wisely as as good as donating to charity in many ways. Eg not buying off Amazon who pay hardly any tax.
But OP you are seriously unwell, I say enjoy your peanut butter. You matter too x