How far (long) do you think it is acceptable to drive in one day?

[InsufficientMum]

One person doing the driving.

How long do you think is ok to plan for one days driving? 4 hours? 6? 8? 10?

Holidays, not work related. And is it reasonable to suggest DH drives a long distance alone because it would be convenient for me (and mean he wouldn't have to spend a week visiting my family). Then we share the return journey between us and do some sightseeing on the way back over 2-3 days. For full disclosure, I am not a fan of driving and prefer to take a break after an hour- hour and a half. DH likes driving so tends to do more in every day life.

I have ADHD and absolutely hate driving, I can do it am actually a very careful driver but the cognitive effort involved driving for more than a couple of hours absolutely finishes me off. I can't do more than 3 hours in a day and I hate being a passenger as well, my be whole body starts aching from sitting still so long. I left my previous job because of all the driving involved and how it affected me physically and mentally.

A close friend is getting married in the middle of nowhere soon, no feasible way of getting there on public transport and the reception is 18 miles from the ceremony and she's not planning to put any transport on. It's a 6 hour drive and I'm absolutely dreading it. The original plan was she'd get married in a big city with excellent transport links but now she's moved and gone fully rural that's no longer the plan. I don't think people who love driving have much empathy or understanding for those of us who hate it. It's why I'll always live in a city.

I think its just one of those things. More males than females enjoy the actual driving. Most cars are built with average male physique in mind, so they tend not to be as comfortable for females.

partly due to that a lot more females will drive automatics, which are not as much fun to drive.

more males will enjoy the process than women who are more likely to just think of A -B

but that very much generalising. I'm female & used to LOVE to drive, I love older, manual cars that you really have to actually drive. I had to relent and get an automatic as mist of my driving is stop/start and my left knee just hurts too much! 🤬. It's not 'driving'. It's steering the car in the correct direction & boring as hell. Cars are now bought for knee consideration, low sports cars are now out!

sucks 😤🤬

@FunnyItWorkedLastTime that's a really good point about the traffic. Any journey in the UK of that distance is very likely to hit a traffic snarl at some point, easily turning a 10 hr journey into an 11-12 hour one. I don't think anyone would have full concentration and top notch reflexes for that length of time.
Driving in say Australia or US is different I suspect, as less congestion on the motorways.

It’s a useless post tbh how long or short any else will drive for is irreverent

it’s how long your dh is prepared to drive for ask him rather than MN

It is not just what is acceptable it is what is safe. When we were much younger, late 20s/early 30s Dh and I used to do long journeys from Scotland to Cornwall every summer. We stopped for breaks regularly, but dh did most of the driving and it was, from a comfort perspective, perfectly acceptable.

Until he lost concentration when we were driving during the evening, on a quiet stretch of motorway mistook a lorry in the distance as being in the inside lane, pulled into that lane before realising it was the hard shoulder and the lorry had actually parked/broken down (no hazards on). He pulled back out just in the nick of time.

Dh is a safe and competent driver, but all it takes is one moment of lapse of concentration. It gave both of us such a fright we never did the journey in one day again and would never even contemplate it once we had dc.

DF used to drive from devon to Edinburgh in a day regularly. 2 stops for food coffee

@InsufficientMum why are you so worried about discussing this with DH? It wouldn't occur to me to ask MN how far it's reasonable to drive for before saying to DH, what do you think about doing this?

But I have, previously, been in relationships where I'd be hesitant to mention something before checking with others what's reasonable & having alternatives planned out.

Based on this, I can see why DH is pushing back if you've already mooted the idea to him.
He would do an extremely long day of driving and then be expected to do the majority of the driving over the next 2-3 days. I'd assumed incorrectly he would be joining you at your parents and have a few days to recover.
I certainly wouldn't expect someone to do such a long drive, to then essentially do a road trip for the next few days.

I think it's not unreasonable to ask given that the OP's physical constraints mean that her own experience isn't a good guide.

You frequently see scenarios on MN where the OP has had someone ask her for a favour so outrageously burdensome that we're all pissed off at the cheek even though she simply said "no". If the OP's cunning plan involved, say, a fourteen hour solo drive then it would be hugely cheeky even to ask her DH to do it.

My car tells me to take a break after 2 hours of driving...
Personally I've done 7-8 hours in a day to which my friends were aghast
But I'm the one to decide, and I'll stop when I think it's necessary so 1.5-2 hours then quick break and carry on.

My break threshold is 2.5 hours max. So about 130 miles. I love driving. Drove up to Liverpool, then to Coventry and back to Nottingham yesterday. It was fine.

I'd plan for probably a max of 8hrs in a day, probably with one or two stops. During lockdown I was doing the round trip from London-Chesterfield a couple of times a month and that's 7 hours there and back (with a ten minute leg stretch when I was waiting for DSS to shift himself and come out of his mum's house!).

DH doesn't drive so it's all down to how long I'm prepared to drive for.

There is no harm in suggesting your plan and seeing what DH thinks. Just make it clear it is very much a suggestion and that you appreciate he may not want to do the solo 8 hour drive.

Longest solo drive I have done was about 5 hours but I would be prepared to do a longer drive if it was going to get me somewhere I really wanted to be and there wasn't an alternative travel option available.

Will your DH get a couple of days to relax after his long solo drive before you start the journey home?

I used to regularly drive 7 hours (with a couple of breaks to stretch my legs).

But because I haven’t done it for so long then I would only drive a maximum of 4 hours now with at least one break in between to stretch my legs.

I enjoy driving especially when listening to a audiobook or something but it is hard sitting down for so long and it is mentally exhausting.

If he is driving somewhere he’s not familiar with then he’s going to be even more tired.

I think that's a lot of driving in relatively short period of time - 8 hours with no breaks or traffic is going to be more like 10-11 hours for one person.

If he's happy to do it then that's fine but I wouldn't blame him if he wasn't - long journeys are tiring and I wouldn't want to be doing 4-5 days of regular driving and sightseeing without a decent break somewhere.

This. My now ExH stitched me up twice by saying he'd organised a "holiday" for us. Once to the Giant's Causeway and the other time around Scotland. Both times leaving from Somerset. He had never had a driving lesson, let alone hold a licence. I did 1500 miles in 5 days for the NI trip. Lost count for the Scotland trip. Massive amounts of driving both times and he didn't see he'd done any thing wrong. He slept most of the journey. He wouldn't let me have the radio on, as he was keeping him awake ...

@sanityisamyth I'm glad he's an ExH. That sounds dreadful!

Six to eight, with breaks. It's whether a person will actually take those breaks though. Highway hypnosis is a thing - I've experienced it and it is more common in tired drivers.

I would be fine with 6 hours. 8 hours would be a stretch.
I drive 45min commute so fairly average driver.

Oh dear. Gender stereotypes again. You have some real internalised misogyny going on there.

And there was me thinking it was 2023 and we were supposed to be past all this nonsense.

I can drive for hours and just have a stop occasionally to use the loo and stretch my legs.

However, I wouldn't do that at night!

I think it's true that cars are built with males bodies / height in mind. As a short female the belt always ends up around my neck.

I adore driving. I drive a 16 year old low slung sports car that I’ve had since new. Hardest suspension ever and snug bucket seats. She’s track ready at all times. (Pot holes and speed bumps with a full bladder are the worst.)

DH droves like an old person and can’t park so I don’t let him.

I do most of my driving at night when the roads are much quieter (hence more fun). I dread having to change her for something else. Modern cars are like driving armchairs for the brainless.

It also depends on the country where you’re going and the. roads. DH does 10hs +breaks in one day around 6 times a year, but I reckon this would be more tiring in the UK for instance, due to the traffic.

Raise your seat