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Time for undertakers to pick up body

18 replies

Ncforthis003 · 12/02/2023 00:33

Gone NC for this to not link my account as this story will be identifying. My elderly stepmother died at home this morning at 11am. It took 7 hours for the GP to visit and issue the medical certificate and now we are still here at 12:30am the next day waiting for the undertakers to collect her body. Is this normal?

We are a loving supportive group gathered around remaining parent and it was a very much expected death, so are surviving on lots of cups of tea. But I can imagine other situations where waiting with a body in your home for 12 hours would be fairly traumatic.

Just looking for perspective on what is the norm here (UK).

OP posts:
monsteramunch · 12/02/2023 00:35

I don't know the answer OP but I'm so sorry for your loss and the added trauma of this long wait Flowers

AgathaMystery · 12/02/2023 00:41

Oh I’m so sorry OP.

When my grandfather died (2008) the GP came to certify him within the hour and the undertakers came a few hrs later when we were ready.

During Covid lockdowns my neighbour died at home (quite sudden) & it took 16 hrs for the undertakers to come. It was unfortunate as he was in the middle of the room and we sort of had to step over him all the while.

Ncforthis003 · 12/02/2023 00:57

Thanks all we are still waiting. The undertakers have said they are “stuck in traffic on the M1” despite there being no traffic on the M1 according to google. If they’re not coming we would really prefer they just said, as fabricated traffic at 1am isn’t giving me much faith in them.

OP posts:
Alphabet1spaghetti2 · 12/02/2023 01:03

Having worked in a care home, my experience tells me that it can be anything from a couple of hours upto 24 hours later and can be anytime of the day. Really depends on how busy and far away the undertakers are.
Sorry for your loss. 💐

Northernlurker · 12/02/2023 01:04

Call somebody else. Your current undertakers sound shit and Ideally you want a local family run business. This is too long to wait as you are ready for her to go,
However now you've gone this far if you'd rather just keep them over night you can do that. There is no requirement to have the body moved rapidly.

Ncforthis003 · 12/02/2023 01:10

Northernlurker · 12/02/2023 01:04

Call somebody else. Your current undertakers sound shit and Ideally you want a local family run business. This is too long to wait as you are ready for her to go,
However now you've gone this far if you'd rather just keep them over night you can do that. There is no requirement to have the body moved rapidly.

Great idea but my dad has already paid this company. Which I’d done the due diligence for him.

OP posts:
Ncforthis003 · 12/02/2023 01:10

Would personally just pay a new company now but feel like they’d only come in the AM at this point anyway so rather pointless.

OP posts:
SkyHippoOnACloud · 12/02/2023 01:19

From my own experience I'd say don't die after 5pm on a Friday. Blooming nightmare. 💐 OP. I'd stop waiting and start carrying on - get washed, get food, get sleep, start informing friends and lean on those people who want to help

Summerfun54321 · 12/02/2023 01:28

Not everyone wants the body to be taken away quickly, some want time to say goodbye. A long wait for some isn't necessarily a long wait for others. There's no right or wrong with this. Sorry for your loss 💐

caringcarer · 12/02/2023 01:31

OP I've just travelled back from Hull to West Midlands and there is very little traffic on M1 tonight that I have seen in either direction. Can I just advise you when undertakers do arrive leave the room taking others with you before they put the body into the body bag as it is not nice to see. Rigor Mortis will have set in and body not flexible to go in to body bag. Sorry for your loss.

ShippingNews · 12/02/2023 01:34

Having worked in a care home, they work 24/7 but the time frame is often not ideal. I don't think you'd necessarily get a quicker service from another firm. I'm sorry you are having to go through this.

euff · 12/02/2023 01:43

I'm sorry for your loss op. Flowers I don't know the answer but I hope you are not waiting much longer.

Ncforthis003 · 12/02/2023 01:57

Thanks @SkyHippoOnACloud I have finally got through on the phone and they are apparently now in Brixton (despite previously being stuck in traffic on the M1). 30 mins to go we are assured! If not I will strongly suggest to everyone that we go to bed!

OP posts:
LifeunderMarrs · 12/02/2023 02:19

Oh OP I'm so sorry for your loss.

We lost my second parent on the 23rd December. He lived with us and I think had a beautiful passing in bed. He'd had a fall three days before and had, as my sister described it, sort of passed into another dimension. Our GP visited and it transpired had predicted his passing and pronounced it remotely.

The undertakers arrived a few hours later and were just wonderful - the same team who'd been at our mum's funeral six months before. There were hugs and condolences and they were there at the funeral, where they really knew how to ease all the emotions. I couldn't have asked for a better 'team' and I really hope this, going forwards can maybe be the sam experience for you 💐

Floralnomad · 12/02/2023 02:22

Sorry for your loss @Ncforthis003 , unfortunately I think you’ve just got rubbish undertakers , IME the deceased has always been collected within an hour or two .

Teaandtoast3 · 12/02/2023 02:23

In my experience recently it’s been the other way round. Waiting ages for doctor (if they will even come) and the undertaker being very prompt. So sorry for your loss and hoping you aren’t waiting much longer 💐

Teaandtoast3 · 12/02/2023 02:25

And yes, I wouldn’t watch the undertakers either. You don’t need those imagines being your last ones

RunAwayNow · 12/02/2023 08:01

I hope they have been now and I'm very sorry for your loss op.

I used to work in the industry and a lot of people don't realise you can change funeral director mid way through the process. So if you're unhappy with this lot, you can ring another funeral director and ask them to take care of the arrangements. They can then contact your original undertakers to take the person who has died into their care instead.

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