How to sort a severe dog phobia in autistic child?

[saltahoy]

My 12 yo has pretty significant autism, goes to a SEN school etc. has had a phenomenal dog phobia his entire life.

To be fair to him, over the years he's experienced dogs jumping at him (he will only leave the house for school or to walk in open forestry type areas), barking at him and slobbering/licking him (he has a severe sensory processing disorder so this is torture). We always get the 'don't worry he's friendly' response which I know is people trying to excuse the annoying dog behaviour but ds doesn't understand. He's literally screaming, crying and stimming every time one is jumping or barking at him.

We're getting to the point where he won't leave the house at all. If dogs are on leads, he's fine. There's hardly any places that's open forestry / beach / open space types places where dogs aren't off leads 🤷‍♀️

People always say on here, you need to treat phobias. We need to treat this phobia. How do we do it? He's not under CAMHS now but they wouldn't treat it when we were under them. Who does?

It’s a tricky one, hopefully he can overcome the phobia but in some ways it’s rooted in a legitimate fear of dogs jumping up on him so not completely irrational / a phobia. To be fair those dogs are in breach of the dangerous dogs act or whatever the legislation on having control of your dogs is called.

I had one jump at me recently in my building and it actually scratched me with its claws. I reported it to the housing manager so the owners have been cautioned about keeping their dogs under control.

So while your son has a phobia it’s clear there is also a real problem with the local dogs and maybe you could report to the council or carry some kind of deterrent like a stick? I don’t know if a hiking stick would attract or deter dogs though.

Isn't it normal dog behaviour everywhere though? Every dog thread on here is full of people saying dogs are off leads running around jumping up / barking etc. seems to be the norm now. Certainly everywhere I go regardless of location there are dogs behaving anti socially.

You are right that he has a legitimate fear which must make it harder to overcome. He can't generalise either so even if he got used to 1 dog (which we can't even manage!) he'd still be terrified of every other dog.

There's a therapy dog at his SEN school and they've tried to do loads of work but nothing has improved and they've said it's too distressing for him to continue and they now radio ahead if the dog is anywhere near his class so the teacher can make sure he never sees it.

My DD was terrified, couldn't walk in a park or along the seafront without panic and screaming.
We bought a (tiny sausage) dog - in the most part for the needs of DS but it has transformed DD, she loves dog so much and two years on she's sensible, still warey of big bogs but calm with them and the fear has vanished.

I'm autistic and take noise cancelling headphones everywhere so I can put them on for bad noises including the pitch of some dog barking. Would that or ear defenders help him? It would remove one element.
Don't know what to suggest for the licking except if he were able to shout No and stand still, but sounds like at the moment he couldn't. The unpredictable movement of dogs can also be a problem

I don't think he's ever going to like them. Hopefully he will be able to reduce the fear. Tbh they are disgusting and terrifying. The barking noise is so awful, they stink, shake themselves. Everything about them makes me feel sick and on edge. I personally don't feel safe around them and would never ever sit in someone's house if they didn't put the dog safely in another room. I'd walk out of a pub. If off lead I do think it's likely safer to the your chances in the road with humans who will brake than go to close to a possible killer. People who let their dogs near you, or claim it is friendly are nasty nasty people and make it worse. They clearly don't care at all about others,if they did it would be on a Lead, and cannot control their animal or it wouldn't be close or jumping. Tbh I'd report any jumping up yo the police and dog warden as that is illegal and assault.

Also agree with your son about therapy dogs. How the fuck can itbe calming to have that sort of mouth and fleas and stench near you? Bacteria filled mouth that might touch you. Greasy smelly fur near you. It's enough to make the panic set in just thinking about it. How crazy that is allowed as therapy in a school!!

A lot of dog people assume that everyone else must accept the same lack of boundaries that they are comfortable with from their dog. I don't really want to say it's a dog people thing, people that are accustomed to something and are very comfortable with it frequently fail to understand that others aren't the same. It seems to be worse the last couple of years, and I think there are a few things behind it:

• lots of new dog owners over Covid, some of which lack experience
• lots of old dog owners that over Covid lockdowns came to over-rely on their dog(s) for companionship in the absence of human interaction
• lots of dogs that missed out on socialisation and how to behave in public over Covid
• changing breed/cross-breed popularity that's increased the number of dogs from breeds not known for public socialisation

We have a dog, we'd count ourselves as dog people, but we accept that others aren't. It does help that our dog is supremely disinterested in people, although she does get approached by a lot of adults and children (calm manner, silver muzzle of old age, and a smiley grin).

I'm not sure how you get over this. But I think it's important that your son finds a coping strategy. A spontaneous flight response to the sight of a dog could be dangerous, and in the UK avoiding dogs altogether isn't an option for a normal life.

It isn't normal dog behavior everywhere. I do think communities tolerate different levels of crap dog behavior. And in some places he's very friendly is seen as fine.

Your son has two issues going on. Dogs are unpredictable, even between different environments like parks v forests and woods. And he is autistic which may mean some techniques NT people use to handle fear - reading the situation to assess the likelihood of the scary thing happening - may be harder for him because some social information like the owners body language will not be available to him. If my dog is off lead and I meet another walkwr I usually call her to me so they know she is under control, or if she is enjoying snuffling in the woods I v obviously keep a close eye on her so they don't worry. Those cues may not reassure an autistic person.

I do think professional help from someone who knows autism might be best. The risk of doing graduated exposure approach with safe dogs is he only needs to encounter one unpredictable dog to be back to square one. It may be he handles his anxiety better with cognitive techniques like actually calculating the real risk of a dog jumping, a jump escalating to harm etc. If he is able to focus on what he knows he may find a new encounter with a badly behaved dog less stressful.

And learn how his own body language can make him less interesting to dogs. A good dog trainer can help with this. But not with a dog present. It's not necessary and will just make him fearful. Instead find a trainer and ask them to show you what they do if a dog runs towards them to stay calm and keep the dog calm.

He may also find learning about dog body language from videos helpful. Again autistic people in my experience are often very good at reading animal body language (if not overwhelmed with fear). And understanding that the running dog is generally excited not aggressive and there are typical signs of this in the relaxed mouth, ears, eyes, posture to help him.spot this may help him.

None of this excuses dog owners allowing dogs to jump.up at people. It's a real problem and makes me angry. But you clearly don't want it to limit his world and completely safely exploring his fears without dogs present may be the easiest way to do this.

I so feel your pain, my 12 Yr old son with ASD is the same. He had a dog jump on him at 3 yrs old and has been scared ever since. We have just had to come back from Cornwall early as there were so many dogs. He is a strong lad taller then me know and he wants to run away from them. They let the dogs in all the cafes and restaurants so you can't even eat in peace. Like you say, 'they won't hurt you, they are very good' means nothing and they look at me as if I am asking them to fi d a cure for cancer when I just want them to control their animal. We were at a child's play park the other week and a dog needed up chasing him, 'he thought he was playing' was the owners response!!! I shouted to get the dog on the lead and that is should not be off the lead in a play park anyway. Again a look as if I was talking alien. I had a dog growing up and I get it they love their dogs, but I love my son and I would like him to be able to enjoy a day out were he is not on high alert 100%of the time. His younger brother is also a bit scared (also ASD) but not as bad as his behaviour is learnt from his brother but he is still anxious when we are out. We have a research places where you cannot take dogs and they are few and far between. Luckily our local park does not allow dogs although even then I have had to remind people of this, and get called some lovely names when having done so. I do hope things get better for you, but it is a bit of a comfort for me to know mine are not the only ones with this issue.

Not read all replies - he has Asd /adhd was referred to behaviour team for dog phobia - they said wasn’t appropriate so got gp to refer to camhs who did a course of CBT - it helped - not a cure but improved things

I was the child who would run in front of a car to get away from a dog. I still don't like them and having one as a pet would have been, and would still be, my worst nightmare. It really isn't a solution to bring something that your child perceives as a threat into what should be a safe space - your home.

I am surprised things are quite so bad where you live OP - they are a nuisance everywhere, but where we live people are usually pretty reasonable. But it's interesting that someone mentioned yesterday that they go to my outdoor fitness class in the neighbouring town and people let their dogs wander round the group - that doesn't happen in our town's group/park. There are parks I avoid because I know there will be off-lead dogs and I usually find people are better at holding onto their dogs if there is a group of you (eg if I am out with my running club they will get hold of them but not if I am out on my own).

Last year I went through a stage of being chased or hassled by one every time I went out but it hasn't happened for ages. I do think dogs sometimes sense that you don't like them and so follow you on purpose!

I don't really have any suggestions except to look for National Trust places where dogs are either not allowed at all or only allowed on short leads.

I agree - and also letting them into care homes. If I was stuck in a care home I would hate having a dog brought up to me. Who decided that all elderly people love dogs? I'd have hated it if they were allowed in school too.

Your poor ds

It is tricky for dc who don’t like dogs jumping on them, let alone ND and phobic

Also agree it's not a phobia - it is a very rational fear. Dogs ARE unpredictable, they do do annoying and sometimes dangerous things and their owners are very often irresponsible and/or unthinking.

True. When you consider it from view of smaller young child in particular

Dd is not ND as far as I’m aware but I’d prefer owners thought more about their jumpy dogs

I have the exact same child. I don't have a phobia but I've got to the point where I hate dogs. It may help you to apply for a blue badge. We got one due to bolting in fear of dogs etc

I'm autistic and was like this about dogs as a child. I don't particularly like them now, but I can't exactly put my finger on what's made being around them easier. I still wouldn't choose to be near random dogs, but I do okay with dogs I know. One in particularly is so chill and never jumps or barks, just stands/lies there and lets you stroke him. With other dogs, I've learnt to ignore/turn away, and they generally leave you alone, but I haven't always been able to do that (I got chased by a puppy when I was seven because I ran away and he thought I was playing!).

I think what helped me in the end was just time, but obviously that's hard if it's causing him distress and interfering with family life right now.

The problem is exposure therapy doesn't really work with autistic people, because repeated exposure just keeps exposing us to high levels of anxiety, and you can't think straight in that situation. I would maybe suggest a social story about ignoring dogs/turning away, to read with him when he's calm and un-anxious. Then if he's willing, find a very chill dog to practise this on (with dog, at least initially, on a short fixed lead so DS can see that the dog can't actually get to him, or behind a window/fence). Do you also have enough family members that if you're out for a walk and a dog is spotted, you can surround DS so they dog can't get to him? This would protect him from the jumping/licking, and then maybe ear defenders (if he'll wear them) for the barking.