Hoarding advice / capsule wardrobe

[Frrrzing]

TLDR: What to put in a "capsule" / reasonably sized / normal wardrobe for woman who doesn't wear trousers / jeans and capsule wardrobes for 2DS one ks1 and one ks2.

Please help me wise mumsnetters!!

I am in tears today because I have discovered moth bites in some of my favourite clothes and also my DSon's favourite top. Moths are constantly an issue and this is always happening. I am due to move to a smallish flat soon and I would love
a clean slate.

I have nobody to ask irl; parents are hoarderish too (though they have a decent size house and it's just the two of them so don't really need to get rid of anything!). I am too embarrassed to ask friends.

I have always had clutter but it's now unmanagable; I have 2DC and am a single mum who escaped abuse (but still have to see my ex) and had to flee without belongings - I think that this has influenced my hoarding. People have been really kind and gifted me stuff and I have gone a bit mad in charity shops too especially with clothes. When I was a teenager I was heavily into fashion and buying myself clothes has always been how I indulge myself / spoil myself.

I would love to know how many clothes is it reasonable to have per child? If they are at school? DS2 is still "little" and just lives in tracksuit bottoms or jersey shorts (sensory issues) and tshirts / longsleeved tshirts and hoodies / sweaters -dependent on weather.

DS1 is a tween and likes tracksuits / sports wear.

And for me as an adult too. I just don't know where to start. I have so much, a lot in sizes too small for me (antidepressants have made me gain weight and I have gone up a few sizes, keep saying I will lose the weight but never do). I have quite a big age gap (5 yrs) between DC (2 boys) so have a few years to store clothes before 2nd one needs them. I have looked for capsule wardrobes online (I don't want a literal capsule wardrobe of 10 items, I just want it to be manageable and to fit into a wardrobe and a chest of drawers) but they always include trousers and jeans which l literally never wear as a cultural / heritage thing. I also never wear blazers and these also seems to feature heavily in capsule wardrobes for some reason?

How many items / what should I put in my own capsule wardrobe? My work is "smart casual" (for a small charity) so wrap dresses, tunics etc. Some colleagues wear black jeans but not so casual as blue denim / athleisure nor business wear of suits etc. If that makes sense.

I just want to get rid of everything and start all over as I just have so many items of clothes and I can never find anything I like or when I do find it it's got moth bites.

Thanks for reading.

I just want to get rid of everything and start all over as I just have so many items of clothes and I can never find anything I like or when I do find it it's got moth bites

This is your starting point. Forget about the 'capsule wardrobe' thoughts, its deflection. Get 5 black bags. Put all the stuff that's too small inside. Take to charity shop or better still, a clothes bank. Just drop them in and go. Its just "stuff", choking your space. You won't wear it so get rid. Even if its something you really like, its not as if you will lose out in life if you don't have it. & You'll forget about the item in time to come anyway. Too many things = a burdensome life and what's the point of that?

I agree

Sort all your clothes

Too small/big/doesn't fit but ok condition - charity shop
Damaged - textiles bank

Then see what is left for all of you.

Will you really have space to store DS1s clothes for DS2?

I'm on this journey. I am not a hoarder, but I do keep things I don't wear or use because I convince myself I will. Over the last few years, I have been getting rid of stuff - lots gone.

To start with I got rid of anything I had too many of, didn't wear etc or, if I couldn't part with it, put it in black bin bags in the cupboard on the landing. After a few months, I took the bags to a charity shop without looking inside first. Towels and bedlinen too. All beds have just two sets. One duvet, pillow and bedlinen in a vacuum packed bag 'in case'. Gone now.

Now I work from home, I have in my wardrobe what I wear - two pairs of jeans, two pairs of trackies and two pairs of leggings. Thin wool jumpers that I layer - two sets of those, three T shirts and two nice tops. Four summer dresses. Enough underwear to last a week if the washing doesn't get done. I have more in a black bag ready to go, but I've not needed to get anything from it.

We had moths until we got rid of our wool carpets - they didn't damage clothes, and I think that's because there are so few now that they are regularly washed rather than being stored.

I won't have a lot of room for storing clothes for DS2 but it seems like a huge waste to get rid of loads of clothes only to have to get new ones in 4 years. I really don't know what to do!

I hadn't thought of it like this but I think you're right about the capsule wardrobe being deflection 😬😳 I have been a bit obsessed with the concept and it has meant that I haven't actually been getting rid of anything... Thank you. Love this site for all the intelligent points. X

Do you have a friend with an inbetween sized kid? I receive boys clothes from a friend and pass on my girls clothes to her. It works well and we're not storing clothes, and it helps each other out.

I also find my kids clothes pretty cheap as they live in joggers and sweats as you've described and aren't into labels yet. If you're spending more on brands for eldest then it does make more sense to keep for youngest I'd guess.

Look at konmarie folding on YouTube for how to fold to take up minimal space. My kids have zero storage for clothes and have a drawer each for tops and one for bottoms and we fit loads on folding this way. School uniform hangs in the wardrobe. Don't forget kids are in uniform a lot and we change into pj's in the evening rather than joggers etc so as to minimize how much is needed, as well as reduce washing/ironing.

My mum was a hoarder and we really saw the consequences when her dementia had progressed so far the only option was for her to go into a home. I've generally tried to keep my possessions to a minimum (regular house moves have also probably had an effect), and over the years I've been every dress size from a 6 to a 20 so I've often ended up with items that are too small/too big/just too-not-me...

I've recently decided to only wear black for work, which has been very liberating (even if I do look like a moon on legs, it's not one of my best colours but sums up how I feel about the place), and I regularly go through clothes to see what I should and shouldn't keep. We were very poor when I was a kid, and as an adult I love colour, charity shops, vintage etc (it's a throwback to never having much except my school uniform and being picked on for it), so I sometimes end up with things that don't suit me.

So here are things that have helped me:

• Be frank and realistic about whether I'm going to wear clothes or not; if it's an outfit I love but I know I won't wear it again, take a photo of the garment (even wearing it if that will help), and then put the item in a charity bag, if there's still plenty of wear in it, or textiles bag, as others have suggested, if it's beyond redemption. If you have friends or family who live nearby are similar sizes, by all means ask them if they'd like them but don't make them feel obliged.
• Be frank and realistic about whether the colour suits me - the various colour me beautiful options out there are great so I know I'm a classic winter, and there are colours that I love that really don't love me.
• Be frank and realistic about whether the style suits me and my lifestyle. Trinny and Susanna were kind of responsible for me getting lots of V neck type stuff to minimise my bosoms, for instance, but now I'm getting on a bit they're really not ideal unless I have a scarf around my neck, and even then...
• Be frank and realistic about whether the fabric suits me and my lifestyle, and again, fabrics I could have gotten away with in my 20s and early 30s won't work now. Same goes for shoes.
• I do put summer items away into storage bags in winter and vice versa, though it is a bit of a hassle.
• I also started a private Pinterest board that I keep alongside my publicly available ones, full of utterly impractical garments I'd never get the chance to wear in real life, but that way in my head I get to keep them for my fairytale/when I win the lottery garment store...
• You could also think about putting the items on ebay, or Vinted, or various other sites to see if they might bring in a little bit of cash for you, but in my experience it takes a lot of effort to both do this and then have to make sure you take them to the post office/courier. I did try selling some of my nicest items that I'd grown out of through a third party seller about two years ago, and only got pennies for them; I was in a hurry to get rid of them as we were moving, but to be honest, the payback was so low I wished I'd just given them to charity.
• At one previous employer we did a charity fashion swap thing (pre-COVID) where everyone brought in 2 to 5 outfits that they no longer wore, and swapped for items others had brought in - it worked well then but I don't know if it would still work in a world where so many people are still WFH
• Great suggestions for the Konmari method, although I'm personally more of a fan of the Home Edit on Netflix, the two ladies who run the company are my sort of age and understand that actually, sometimes, you need to keep stuff...I'd not suggest buying all their boxes (I think John Lewis has the contract in the UK) but Home Bargains, The Range, B&M, Tesco, B&Q, Really Useful Boxes etc do some great if different alternative storage options.
• If all else fails, could you rent a small storage unit until you get things sorted? And maybe put shelves or clothes rails in there, bit by bit as you sort?

On the issue of what kids need, I think you can generally get by with much less than you’d think if they wear school uniform five days a week. Around 5-7 tops/t-shirts and a similar number of bottoms (joggers/jeans or shorts in summer) and 3-4 jumpers/hoodies should do it. One smart outfit. Two pairs of trainers, a pair of wellies, Crocs for summer. Basically enough to wear for a week for the average activities you do.

I would get rid of any of your clothes that are too small and bin anything with moth damage. I had moths for 2 years and whilst I got rid of them it was so hard.

As DC grow so fast they don't need lots of clothing. Just keep the stuff they wear regularly for now.

Then tackle the moths. If you've got wool carpet that's where they will originate. I had to replace all my carpet. You'll need moth traps and spray to kill them as soon as you see them.

I wish I did but I don't 🙁 it would be great to have an excuse to get rid of the damn things "temporarily" but with the proviso that they might get damaged and not returned. I feel like because I am on a really tight budget it is madness to give away clothes that will come in useful in a few years' time. Even though they just take up space etc.

I think that your right about getting rid of the clothes that are too small for me. It makes me feel so sad as I was once quite slim and now... Not so much 🥴 but I can't stop taking the medication that I am on.

This is really helpful, I have nobody I can ask so having a "list" is brilliant, thank you x