Thanks @PatsysBeehive and @Citrussy . And thanks @purpleme12 for checking in. I’m still on MN, though I try not to overshare too much. I moved that to an Instagram account, and almost all of my followers are MN users, I think, ha. But I’ve been a bit more sick lately so even that hasn’t been updated as it should be.
I did actually post on MN “horrible Christmases” thread because I was hurting a lot about how bad my Christmas was, and people had some amazing advice wrt how to live going forward (I wasn’t going to try to ever go to Scotland again because it was such a disaster last time, i got so sick, I had to come home early, and then was sick for 1.5 months). But someone said about going again, “Well… wouldn’t you rather die free?” And I felt really understood for a minute because that’s true; what I’m dealing with here is worse than being free.
So I’m kind of trying to live on that and do things instead of just stagnating, even though it’s so hard because I’m constantly tired and hurting. I can’t imagine another four years of this - the bones on the left side where the sacrum connects to the ilium were already really painful from inflammation and now I’m starting to have the same sensation on the right which is really upsetting; I don’t want to stay alive if I’m bed bound and if the issue keeps traveling up my spine, I will be in another year. Im going to try to start doing some more stretching and short walks, because I don’t want to lose abilities that I could save. But yes, it’s difficult.
And as for things in my household… they have not changed. The less said about them, the better.