Being diagnosed with autism or adhd as an adult.

[Anon6713]

Hey, i'm 18 and finally being assessed for autism, adhd and add. I was just curious to hear about how its helped/affected your life, and also what symptoms did you have which lead to you being diagnosed?
When a social worker came to my house leading up to me being placed in an accommodation, I remember she asked my parents if they thought something was wrong since I was young, as they said, why didnt they get help? And their response was they 'didnt want people meddling'. I will always resent them for this because I think my life couldve been so different if they had just asked for professional help. When I look back at my childhood it is so so obvious to me that all the signs were there. I think this is the main cause of pretty much all my issues with my parents growing up, that there was something clearly wrong, and instead of getting me help, they punished me for it immsensly, and my mum also decided to take everything as a personal attack on her, and retaliated by calling me evil, a freak etc. This has damaged me to an extent that I'm just now trying to work through. I just wish things could've been different.

Anyways sorry for the rant, if you've been diagnosed with autism, adhd or add please tell me a bit about your experience? Thank you x

X

You might be better getting this moved to neuro diverse section as you might get more people answering.

Dd has just been diagnosed at 17. For her it's been a relief to know why she struggles. We were only really made aware of the possibility a year ago as she masked so well and basically had a break down a few years ago. But looking back the signs were there just not glaringly obvious as she is inattentive type.

I was diagnosed in 2020 aged 45. It has been life changing. I know you're angry, but you're going to get a diagnosis nearly two decades earlier than I did, so you are way ahead of so many of us.
Knowing who I am has been amazing. You have that gift so early in your life. Focus on that.

TBH believe I have autism, DS is autistic and I exhibit many of the same traits, however I’ve lasted this long without a diagnosis so I don’t see the point of getting diagnosed at this age 35... just my opinion

I was 1st diagnosed in the late 80s however this diagnosis was dismissed as "girls can't be autistic it must be BPD". I lived with the misdiagnosis for decades and spent years in therapy trying to fix myself, then when my ds got his diagnosis the team leader made a comment about me understanding as I was autistic too, after a bit of a chat I was sent to the adult team who correctly diagnosed me and showed me the notes in my records. At 1st I was angry with the sexism and wasted therapy but afterwards the relief set in the knowledge that I didn't need fixing or to change myself I just needed to accept that I'm different not broken

Hey im sorry if i came across an entitled or whatever i didnt mean to come across that way, more that I just have a lot of resentment for my parents knowing something was wrong but refusing to get me any help for it, instead just trying to punish me for it i guess in hopes I would change even afgter admitting they know im 'not normal'.

I was given an assessment about a month or two ago for my parents to fill out, and every single question they went through they were going yes, yep mhm, and when i first went to camhs when i was 14 before covid started (got cut off pretty soon after) they said i was 'probably autistic', everything I see online about autism and adhd describes me so perfectly its kind of unsettling, and I have done the 'aspie test' and the raads test in my free time and got very high scores on both, and also every one of my friends has either adhd or autism, so I pretty much know I am, I am just hoping with a diagnosis it will I guess give me the validation and also hopefully help me learn how to cope better (I've been a mess since as long as I can remember, I dont think ive ever ben comfortable in my own head), and also possibly be able to look into medication for the adhd (currently self medicating with coffee lol). I've found in my past that stimulants like mdma (I know its terrible and this was a dark stage of my life) actually calmed down my brain, whereas for some of the people who also took it it would make them want to run around etc.
Honestly, my whole life i've just wanted to feel normal, and if medication can help that which ive read so much about that happening for many people, I would probably cry of happiness.

I can relate to that, I was depressed in my early teens and my mum refused help for me. She had reasons which made sense to her (to do with something she had experienced and didn't want them to do to me) but I resented that for a long time.

I didn't mean to sound as blunt as I did, I just wanted to help you reframe your thinking a bit. Knowing at 18 is amazing! You have your whole adult life ahead with that knowledge.

But I do understand re parents, we expect them to do the best for us but sometimes what they think is best isn't what we would have wanted. But they are just people, and we all make mistakes.

There are different issues here, OP.

Get your diagnosis. I got mine at 62. Also check for ADHD - my dd(40) has that and is medicated (with amphetamines) for it, which is changing her life for the better.
Having a diagnosis makes you more confident in speaking up for your own needs, when in contact with any authorities.

Except possibly parents! Your relationship with parents is a different thing. You need long term therapy. Go to the GP, go through the 'six sessions of light-touch counselling by a nice lady who did a short course of evening classes' and keep returning until they put you onto a fully qualified psychotherapist. Working through this stuff takes time, and commitment, and some pain. It's worth it. Particularly at your age, when you can look forward to a much better life if you learn how to address the issues. You won't be able to change your parents. You will be able to bolster your own strength so that you can have a better, happier life. To give you an idea of the commitment involved - I think I saw twelve counsellors/therapists over a period of ten years. After a massive autistic burnout/'nervous breakdown' that you really don't want to experience and can avoid with therapy. One of my courses was a weekly session one-to-one for five months, talking about my mother. I found it helps to identify where the therapist's particular area of interest connects with one of your own issues and work on that. Don't expect six sessions to cover everything.

Good luck.