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Original poster

Chocolate problem, self soothing

81 replies

picklemewalnuts · 10/02/2023 13:21

I've lost a lot of weight on a sensible diet.
But...

When the going gets tough I can't control my craving for carbs- preferably bread and butter, chocolate, crisps.

Do you have any suggestions for substitute dopamine/serotonin hits, or whatever it is I get from chocolate?

It's really serious. I can't afford to put weight back on.
I have a chronic health condition so please don't suggest running!

I do lots of healthy mindful things.

What else can I do to break that cycle/association?

OP posts:
midgemadgemodge · 10/02/2023 14:24

Can you not allow yourself to have chocolate occasionally?

Eg have a small bar for emergencies that you allow yourself - so you don't fail when you have it

And then try and eat it slow / not cram as fast as possible in a strop ( that's a ire to self really )

JarByTheDoor · 10/02/2023 14:24

Options hot chocolate doesn't work for me, it's watery and artificial-tasting and my brain isn't fooled into thinking I've had anything nice or chocolatey. For me, something that's much more likely to meet chocolate cravings, and which takes time and effort to prepare which helps avoid massive binge sessions, is hot chocolate made in the microwave using 100% cocoa solids chocolate, semi skimmed or whole milk, and sweetener (because I'm diabetic). You'd have to be truly dedicated to binge on a bar of 100% chocolate, and if you did it wouldn't do much harm.

MarieRoseMarie · 10/02/2023 14:27

I completely understand where you’re coming from. One thing I try to do is bring all the pleasurable things into my life so I love painting and that gives me pleasure. Can you take up hobbies that aren’t about just being healthy?

You need other dopamine hits. Sorry to be crude but masturbate more.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Weight management
Scaredofmynipple · 10/02/2023 14:29

www.wholesomeyum.com/keto-truffles/

Nice recipe

Original poster
picklemewalnuts · 10/02/2023 14:30

@tillyoumakeit and @schmalex basically no amount of sitting with the feelings resolves the fact that there is no one who nurtures me. Neither DH or DM are capable of it (different reasons), and it's not the job of my lovely adult DSs.

I'm tired and chronically ill from a lifetime of looking after everyone else, and relegating looking after me until everyone else is ok. Well here I am, and it's a bit too late. I've done what I can, am doing all the healthy lifestyle stuff, but I'm burnt out and useless. And, apparently, angry. And I want more effing chocolate. It's just not fair that the only thing that makes me feel better makes my health worse.

OP posts:
Original poster
picklemewalnuts · 10/02/2023 14:32

Good point @MarieRoseMarie . One of the reason I'm low is because I was too tired to engage in the craft club I went to Wednesday. I chatted, but couldn't craft.

I need to paint. Rest. Make. Colour. Play.

It will be summer soon. That will help.

OP posts:
orangegato · 10/02/2023 14:33

Swap a meal for chocolate. If you plan it you won’t go over calorie budget. Think I’m having chocolate for breakfast today, 400 cals worth and then not eat till lunch, all other calories the same. Depriving yourself of things doesn’t work, makes you crack and do worse damage.

Egghead68 · 10/02/2023 14:34

Substitute sex instead? Or alcohol/cigarettes/drugs? It would have to be pretty rewarding to beat chocolate…

Or - let yourself have what you want if you still want it in 10 minutes’ time (and get busy with something else in that 10 minutes).

Swiftbushome · 10/02/2023 14:35

Have you tried CBD? I noticed I'd got into.the habit of.drinking too much last year so I switched to CBD drinks and it's working for me as a sub. I rarely drink at all now. I don't know if it would do the same for carb cravings though.

ThighMistress · 10/02/2023 14:39

The thing is nothing is like chocolate.

I confess I got into the habit of eating one large bar of Fruit & Nut every single evening over the past year and every calorie has landed on my thighs.

What do you do whilst watching television? I’m tired by the evenings and want to slump and enjoy chocolate. All the alternatives suggested here are, sadly, yuck.

BettyBoopy · 10/02/2023 14:39

A sliced up Granny Smith apple with really good quality peanut butter hits the spot for me. I am a fellow chocolate hunger too but this really works. Quite calorie dense but you can't eat much without feeling full and has lots of good nutrients in too.

BettyBoopy · 10/02/2023 14:40

Chocolate binger I mean

MarieRoseMarie · 10/02/2023 14:40

picklemewalnuts · 10/02/2023 14:32

Good point @MarieRoseMarie . One of the reason I'm low is because I was too tired to engage in the craft club I went to Wednesday. I chatted, but couldn't craft.

I need to paint. Rest. Make. Colour. Play.

It will be summer soon. That will help.

I crave summer too! Lazing outside in the warmth is so relaxing.

I am very close to buying an indoor portable sauna (£100) just to introduce some different sensations into my life. It sounds a bit silly but is it something you might think about?

MarieRoseMarie · 10/02/2023 14:41

@ThighMistress

Agreed. I just factor the calories in and make sure it’s something I really want. Something truly satisfying.

HumourReplacementTherapy · 10/02/2023 14:41

I'm a massive chocoholic and could happily consume a huge bar every night. But obviously that's not great!
I've gone back to childhood mode and Friday is treat day so I am allowed chocolate and alcohol if I want.
In the week if it's in the house, I'd eat it so I just don't buy it.
It's been really hard this week (period started today so that explains the monster cravings) but I've got here! It's Friday so M&S milk hazelnut chocolate here I come (at 8pm ish)
Rock n roll Grin

Favouritefruits · 10/02/2023 14:43

Im exactly the same as you OP, I just love chocolate the only thing I’ve found that helps in I only buy the little Cadbury bars that are under 100cal that way I can eat a whole bar but it’s only 100cal. I do the same with crisps I buy walkers french fries at 78cal I can eat a whole bag of crisps followed by a chocolate bar and it’s only 178cal total but feels like a good binge.

purpleypinkwitch · 10/02/2023 14:45

I second the carb killa bars and also suggest seriously low carb bread rolls - they are big and delicious and yet do not make you feel bloated and are so satisfying.

purpleypinkwitch · 10/02/2023 14:47

Here you go with the link - they're amazing seriouslylowcarb.com/products/seriously-low-carb-large-rolls?gclid=EAIaIQobChMI0Li7lJmL_QIVR-R3Ch1wOAO-EAAYASAAEgLrsfD_BwE

Original poster
picklemewalnuts · 10/02/2023 14:48

@MarieRoseMarie I actually joined a spa gym as part of my self care. Once a week I go and soak in the steam room, sauna, hydrotherapy pools. It's great. It softens my muscles and helps me stay mobile. I do tai chi. Craft twice a month. Church. Voluntary work, paid work (part time), daily dog walk.

Honestly, all the healthy habits from the NHS. I probably Lack Touch. I'll have to schedule in a massage.

I was too poorly to move off the sofa at one point. Thinking of moving into a bungalow or getting a stair lift. I'm mobile again now, I've done really well but I'm soo, soo tired and I want some more you know what...

Right. I'm off for a cry, a shower and a hot chocolate. I'll be my usual jolly self when I get back, but will be back to read all the ideas and make sure no one has discovered that holy grail...

Honestly, self pity isn't my usual gig. I'm feisty and funny and relentlessly positive. BUT I WANT MORE CHOCOLATE! RAGE! RAGE AGAINST THE DYING OF THE .... TASTE OF CHOCOLATE.

OP posts:
tiredhadenough · 10/02/2023 14:48

I find that if I stop eating crisps and chocolate and I stick to it then the cravings go. The problem is that someone brings something to work and I end up breaking it 😩

LuxLucet · 10/02/2023 14:52

Have you read the book Why we eat (too much) by Dr somebody Jenkinson?
When you understand why you crave chocolate and bread, it can be the first step in getting control ....
I'm a chocoholic. I like sweets too but can take or leave biscuits and cake ... meh... I found the book really helpful to explain why you can get into a sugar binge cycle-- and once I understood it, it made eating chocolate less attractive to me.
I don't buy it. I buy stuff for my teenage boys that won't tempt me (biscuits/ crisps) and worked on breaking the habit of using chocolate as my reward or comfort or entertainment at the end of every day. I used it as 'something (cheap) to look forward to' cos my life is quite grim.

TrollMunter · 10/02/2023 14:58

Have you tried ‘surfing the wave’ or ‘wave surfing’ meditation? It’s a few minutes long and helps manage those big emotions until you’re coming back down the other side

catandcoffee · 10/02/2023 15:04

@picklemewalnuts You sound amazing.
💐

EileanMòr · 10/02/2023 15:05

I know exactly what you mean. I don’t think it’s a sugar craving. It’s an emotional craving. I ate a whole bag (not the smallest, but not the biggest either!) of Malteser’s yesterday after a highly emotional event.

I need to do something to break the cycle, but it’s hard in the moment. So try things like make a herbal tea. I think the warmth helps. Maybe a hot water bottle. Or the opposite and have an ice lolly. Chew some gum. Go for a walk. Do a jigsaw or sew. Have a shower. Do some gardening. Have a nap. Anything that helps to break the thoughts and feelings, which will then pass on their own.

I used to suck my thumb as a child and think it’s that kind of comfort feeling I’m craving, or nursing as a very young child. It feels instinctive, uncomfortable and uncontrollable.

I guess a pet would help too, or a cuddly toy that has a heat pad in it.

ItsDinah · 10/02/2023 15:05

Dried apricots work as a chocolate substitute for me. Need to buy the small snack size packets. For the bread,try cooked cauliflower with black pepper and some parmesan or some tomato puree. If you prefer brown bread, then go for broccoli. Boiled eggs can also work as a bread swap. Salad as a swap for crisps. It's worth buying supermarket packs rather than trying to summon the willpower to prepare it yourself.