Adult mental health after child in hospital

[Theblackdogagain]

I'm posting this just to find out if this exists. Last year my son had a couple of hospital visits that didn't go to plan leading to some traumatic events that he doesn't remember but my husband and I do. I seriously thought I would lose him a couple of times and spent all night watching him breath. Now he's doing really well but my husband and I are on high alert all the time. Its like the world has moved on but any night noise or unusual sound and we're worried. I recognise we need to talk about this, does anyone know of any support groups that we could go to? It seems quite niche but we cant be the only parents experiencing this.

I don’t know if any groups specifically except disability specific ones but I do know you’re far from alone.

One time after a particularly brutal hospital stay I watched all of the seasons on bake off (we had a long recovery at home period and couldn’t go out) I was trying to be available for my kid (ie make sure I got out of bed!) but also needed to just let my brain uncoil from all of the horrors.

There was no aftercare or support I was left to provide 24hr care by myself while trying to process it all.

The best thing I can recommend is doing a subject access request on you child’s medical records and going through them with your partner. You may find it validating to see it all written out and to know you’re not blowing it out of proportion.

If you just need someone who is not your partner to thrash it all out with then the Samaritans always have a listening ear

I have PTSD from when my child was born and was in NICU. Both from the trauma of what happened to him and how I was treated.

21 years and lots of therapy and drugs and none of it has helped. I’ve had a shit life since though and enough trauma in those 21 years to fill the next 100 years of Eastenders scripts so that’s not helped.

My while being has been on high alert all those years. I know how draining it is.

I know people recommend the samaritans but they just made me feel worse. I don’t want someone to listen and make sympathetic noises, I want someone to tell me what to do.

But we are all different and maybe having someone listen to you in the first instance would help.

No advice but interested in any responses. At 8 weeks old my DD stopped breathing and was blue lighted to a specialist hospital an hour away. Thus was after multiple trips to GP and hospital where everyone kept assuring me there was nothing wrong with her. Thankfully she ended up recovering well but my mental health is in an awful place, she's now 21 weeks and has a nasty cold (which I know rationally is no big deal!) and I'm so anxious and on edge, watching her every second and can't sleep! I wish I knew how to recover from the trauma so you truly have my sympathies, this is by far the worst part of being a parent.

Thanks all, my son had a really rare combination on disabilities and is a teenager so we have no choice but to keep going.

Hi, our son was born with a congenital heart defect which means he will have hospital visits and admissions for as long as he lives. The first time we were in hospital after he had heart surgery we asked to see the hospital psychologist. We had four sessions (both my husband and me together for two sessions and one session separately). We found this really helpful to begin to process the trauma of nearly losing our son. I still find it really difficult though.

I have found a particular charity (related to our son’s specific heart condition) helpful in bringing together parents online. There will also be GP level talking therapies which are sometimes group based. In our locality they are individual and limited to six sessions.

You aren’t alone. I’m not alone. But sometimes it feels so lonely when you have to be strong for your child.