Sayings from childhood you remember

[hellobethyname]

Thinking today about all the things my grandparents / parents used to say :

Put wood in"t hole = shut the door

If you were dallying you were "like a fart in a trance "

What's for tea ? "Shit with sugar on"

My gran to express shock would say " oh my godfathers teeth"

Another fave was "it"ll all come out in the wash "

"Gods strewth" was another

Am I alone in these ? Any others people remember?

It's like the Black Hole of Calcutta in here.

"It's black over Bill's mother's" - meaning the sky's gone dark and looks like rain. No idea who Bill is. Or his mother.

I can remember some silly chants from the early 1980's (Reception class). Not sure if it was just our school though.
I was always getting "I'm telling of you! Because you kissed a kangaroo and made it black and blue".
Or the "Look up! Look down! Your knickers are falling down!" one.

'Fur coat no knickers' describing our neighbours who drove a v fancy car but according to my mum never had the heating on. Think it meant it's all a surface show.

Ours was 'I'm telling, you're smelling, you went to batman's wedding, You jumped over my garden without saying pardon.

"No pockets in a shroud."
"You'll be waiting till next Preston Guild!"
"I'm sweating cobs!"
"That looks as black as the 'obs of 'ell !"

"He's about as much use as a one-legged man at an arse-kicking contest"!

God, I'd forgotten about 'I can't, I've got a bone in me leg'!
I do remember 'cat's mother' (I still use that all the time), being accused of having 'a face like a wet weekend' (usually if I was bored in the school holidays), and 'Choke up chicken' if you were having a coughing fit.

A friend of mine always uses, from her childhood, 'standing about like a bottle of milk.' for hanging about doing nothing in particular.

I love 'It's black over Bill's mother's', although that's not one from my childhood.
Hadn't heard 'Up your bum, on the 2nd shelf.' until this thread.

Omg playground rhymes are a whole world in themselves.

Like this one which I now think seems to be a variation on an WWII rhyme (it being the 70s, we didn't talk about the war) featuring Abyssinia

Will you come to the party will you come? Will you bring your maracas and a gun? [Insert name] will be there with her knickers in her hair. Will you come to the party will you come?

Also alternative versions of songs

Eg

What do you do if you can't find the loo in an English country garden?
Pull down your pants and fertilise the plants in an English country garden etc.

Our version of the English country garden one was 'What do you do if you want to do a poo?' and 'sterilise the ants'

Then find a spade and dig what you've made, in an English country garden

@RustyExhaust my Nan used the phrase all my eye and Betty Martin, usually meant she didn't believe something. It turned up years ago as a clue in a cryptic crossword a friend was doing, when I told them the answer they looked at me like I'd lost the plot 😂

My mother: Better to be an old man’s darling, than a young man’s slave!
She hated housework & can only deduce she felt it was unfair that she was expected to be a
’housewife’.

Our version of that in Cheshire was:

There's a party on a hill, are you coming? (No)
Bring your own bread and butter and a bun (can't afford it)
Who is your very best friend at home or at school?

We would do this to work out who's turn it was to do something. We'd all put our foot in a circle and the person saying the rhyme would point to each foot for each syllable.
When it came to the best friend bit, the person who it landed on would say their best friends name and then we'd spell it out on the feet. The person who it landed on last, was 'it'.

So many of these bring back memories of my childhood. My DF was full of bizarre phrases

You've got a face like a wet weekend in Margate
If the wind changes your face will stay like that
It's like Blackpool Illuminations in here
She's all fur coat & no knickers
Off to see a man about a dog
Were you born in a barn
Thick as two short planks
Slow boat to China
Going to spend a penny
Bobs your uncle
Fit as a fiddle
You’ll have somebody’s eye out
You look like you were dragged through a hedge backwards
Who’s she? The Queen of Sheba
Who’s she? The cat’s mother.
Patience is a virtue
Neither use nor ornament
You are as much use as a chocolate teapot
Not the full shilling
Two ha'p'nys short of a sixpence
On the Q.T.
You'll get what you're given
Don't go out with wet hair, you'll catch your death!
No use crying over spilt milk
A penny for your thoughts
It’s like the Black Hole of Calcutta in here (ususally referring to my bedroom).
Making mountains out of molehills
You look like you have lost a shilling and found a sixpence.

So many more that I can't remember.

My dad always used to say 'It's a bit black over Bill's mother's' if it looked like rain.
And 'home James and don't spare the horses' when it was time to leave somewhere.
No idea where either of them are from

"Up the wooden hill, to Bedfordshire" - go upstairs it's time for bed.

"I used to have one of them but the wheels fell off" - if they didn't know what you were talking about.

My grandad used to say "Great heavens above!" if he was surprised by something.

Not a funny/weird one but my mum still calls taking a video "filming" and that made me smile today.

I don't have any of these weird sayings :( I wonder if they will die out?

Anyone remember the mild insult 'You daft apeth'?

@PitYerTapOan OMG!! I've never come across anybody who knows this rhyme before:

Will you come to the party will you come? Will you bring your maracas and a gun? [Insert name] will be there with her knickers in her hair. Will you come to the party will you come?

My cousin used to do one which I've no idea where she got it from and I think she might have half remembered it and made up her own parts. It went like this:

There's a party on the hill would you like to come? (Yes)
So bring your own cream cakes and your own cream buns (Can't afford to!)
Then tell me the name of your girlfriend or your boyfriend's name (Simon)
S-I-M-O-N
Then he will be there with his knickers in the air
O-U-T spells out

You had to give the name of an opposite sex friend who was then assumed to be your "boyfriend" to much hilarity.

There was something about "Pull down your knickers, and say you're a snickers" but I can't remember where it fit in and I wonder if she made that bit up

The version I remember is
"There's a party on the hill will you come
Bring your own bread and butter and your own cream bun
Your boyfriend will be there with his knickers in the air
What colour will those knickers be"

Followed by random shouting of colours

So many of these plus if you asked where someone was going on holiday they would reply "Ourgate and windowview"

Gone for a Burton came from Burton Ale so if you were 'going for a burton' you weren't likely to come back. Started in WW2

One from my nan bless her foul mouthed soul

If something was overcooked it was "As dry as a nuns chuff"

@ MarcwithaC Yes I remember "you daft apath'. My DF regularly used it when I had done something stupid.

My Irish Grandad if we ever didn’t want to eat something or didn’t like it : “If youse kids knew what real hunger was, you’d eat what you were given & be grateful for it”.

Where did you grow up? I was East Midlands but I’m not convinced that’s where it comes from. I seem to remember it being my West Midlands mother saying it, so maybe it’s from there?

I remember "daft 'aporth" (someone told me it was a shortened version of "halfpenny worth"). This was in Manchester. Maybe it's from all over the country!